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How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • No one, including you, wants to date someone that doesn’t make them feel good and add to their lives in a positive and joyful way - in what world does ‘you’re hotter than me therefore I want you as a possession I can have sex with’ make someone feel any of those things?

    What I meant was I don't make it obvious not because I want to make them feel unloved or something but to prevent making them feel uncomfortable. I talk and treat everyone like we're just friends (because for the most part we just are). If the woman from her end shows she's interested in me than I try and go along with it.

    But I am here to learn, so could you then please tell me how do you properly flirt with someone then?

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • just feels he should own one and probably wants regular sex (on his terms only)

    I never, ever said nor implied this. English is not my first language, so maybe I didn't phrase it all that well. I rarely ever even flirt with women because I'm afraid it will make them uncomfortable. I, as any other person, seek companionship. I know it sounds shallow to put emphasis on looks. But no matter which way I shake it it is an important factor to me. Otherwise it just feels like another friendship to me. I can't change myself in that regard. And the results speak for themselves. So here I am seeking help to at least not feel bitter about it.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • I don't know what to tell you. I only blame myself for being this way. And every woman I meet has every right to refuse me. I do not deny that. I think my bitterness about my life is unfounded. Because it's all by virtue of my own choices. I do not want to feel this way. Not to gain favours from women but for myself. For that I ask help. That's it. Sorry you feel this way.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • Have you considered that it’s the way you interact with whoever you’re interested in?

    Are you nervous, self-conscious, whatever?

    I honestly have never thought of it in great detail. But where would I be able to get feedback on this?

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • I do not deny it's shallow. I am absolutely not savoury when it comes to that (though I do need her to also have similar interests). Be that as it may, I just don't develop any romantic feelings for them otherwise.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • Do you think you are sort of batting out of your league looks-wise?

    Yes, definitely.

    is there anything else that makes you think you are not physically attractive?

    My arms and legs are particularly skinny, like Ballerina level skinny.

    May I ask how old you are?

    I am 24 years old

    You are outgoing and social, perhaps try practicing flirting?

    I find flirting difficult. Because I never want to make it obvious and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • Now this may sound dumb. Hence I went with 'No Stupid Questions'. But I don't see the difference between:

    being friends with someone

    and

    dating someone you're not attracted to (except for intimacy and sex).

    So yes I absolutely have. But I just never developed romantic feelings for them.

    Edit: Maybe, me not seeing the difference is a problem in its own right.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • I just don't feel motivated to date people I do not find physically attractive. Even if they do have a very nice or interesting personality, I would rather then just be friends with them. So yes, I think I would in fact rather stay single.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • be happy to be alone

    That was a very moving story. I going to try this. Hell or high water I will try. Not for the possible prospects but for me. Thank you for sharing!

    Also:

    ¯⁠\⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠/⁠¯ ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ

    I like these.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
  • Be it my weight, face, or my personality, it actually hardly matters. Bottom line: There is an (innerly or outerly) ugly person who only wants to date attractive people, and by that they cannot get a partner. If that's too much of a stretch for you, then there is no point explaining.

  • How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?

    I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: "I am just not so into skinny guys."

    I think this is fair from the woman's perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: 'all women are whores'-noise.

    That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don't want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

    So how do I stop this?

    Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

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