Tru fax

Company: "we made a new product that is better than our old product!"

Tech reviewers: collective gasp "unheard of! unprecedented! truly a first for the industry."

Mad flex fam fr fr

About 15 years too late but ya know, it's something

(I wrote that when groggy, but my thinking was that it's supposed to be read aloud/verbally, so you'd ignore the $ and say the cents. My brain was still asleep.)

About $3.50

E: also why do we say "three dollars and fifty cents" when it's clearly "dollar three [and] fifty [cents]". Language weird, return to grunts.

Great, so we'll have 3 shitty ways to buy things that suck. Oh yeah, I guess we will include ebay too, fine.

Alternative: didn't we already have this shitty store? it's called Amazon.

Ooh, my favorite

Sparky, stop eating my teeth! Give it back! GIVE IT BACK!

Boss: locks you in the building

Boss: you live here now. I expect 3x productivity for a $0.50 cent raise with a maximum daily rate of quiet mumbling. Problem solved!

there is just one

Well it's cloudflare, not cloudsflare. Maybe overcasthosting, or sunblockservers...

I don't argue with people. I'm just right all the time.

🤢

Considering that my desired workplace is "laying in bed for $5k a week", no I can't say that I did. Survival and a safe place to shit dictated that.

Mmm, jesus 🍽

one late night, cruising with friends and chatting:

"you know, we should put a minugun on the prius for our getaway vehicle. defensive and economical! nobody will be able to follow us!"

and the reaction was basically [meme]

Pfft, ez pz

A beeping, clear plexiglass container it is!

Custom eh? Tell me more 😏

one player

That one tank game where you took turns against the computer and/or others players begs to differ :P

webmaster

hard drive failure

they are not worthy of the title if they just had one disk and no backups. to be so knowledgeable and yet so stupid is a memorable achievement.