Baubles and Scrooge Discussion from December 25th to December 31st, 2023 - The War on Christmas: Counteroffensive - COTW: Finland

Image: one of our POW camps filled with captured soldiers of the Christmas regime.

Season's greetings, fellow godless communists. I'm here to disseminate orders from our Supreme Communist Dictator as we once again find ourselves fighting against the very concept of Christmas. As a reminder, by the end of our five-year plan, we plan to be in a position to attack and dethrone God, but this intermediate step is required to fulfil this directive. Our forces in the field have made significant, if gradual, progress since you received your mission update last year. It has been difficult, but we have developed a series of defensive lines to prepare for a counteroffensive out of Lapland that will try and reach the Gulf of Bothnia in an attempt to cut the land bridge that we have set up across Scandinavia.

Currently, we foresee a few major threats. General Santa Clauswitz has been developing many tools in his workshop, including artillery-launched snowballs, barbed tinsel, and reinforced gingerbread armor plating for his tanks and infantry carriers. President Frostyy has made the following public statement: "The socialists who wish to destroy us have no idea what their defenses are about to face. Democracy will always defeat autocracy. Christmas will always triumph over X-mas. The leaders of the axis facing us are all on the naughty list and will be tried for crimes against festivity once this war is over."

Delusional as this may be, the next couple days will be the most dangerous as they stage their counteroffensive, and we need everybody to pitch in and get into defensive positions. We expect this to be the last major push that they will make before collapse. Please report any Christmas trees, mistletoe, or general symbology of the Christmas regime to your superiors.

Over and out.

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947 comments

Juan Guaidó was seen training tennis among millionaires in Miami
lol
- Really disappointed that he’s not locked up in some cell for funding a coup. They keep saying gommunism authoritarian but these freaks are just allowed to move to Miami when they feel the heat
  
  In April 2023 he fled to the United States citing fears of his arrest, living in exile in Miami, Florida.
  On 6 October 2023, the Maduro administration charged Guaidó with money laundering, treason, and usurping public functions, issued an arrest warrant and asked the international community to cooperate with an arrest of Guaidó, requesting a red notice be issued by Interpol. Guaidó has denied the charges made against him in the arrest warrant.
  A bit late, yes. But Maduro said something funny about this once, that Guaido was his own worst enemy. That the Bolivarian government didn't even need to create propaganda against the Venezuelan right wing, since Guaido was such a useless, unlikable and dumb pos that most people simply preferred Maduro to the alternative, even if some of them didn't like Maduro or his government.
- How does he have the money to do anything? Was he already super rich beforehand?
  
  Was he already super rich beforehand?
  No, he was a low ranking member of a shitty socdem, which is really a neoliberal party.
  How does he have the money to do anything?
  Literally stole public funds and money from Venezuela's foreign investments in the US. I think that was one of the reasons why his "goverment" was dissolved by Biden and the Venezuelan right.
  In April 2023 he fled to the United States citing fears of his arrest, living in exile in Miami, Florida.
  On 6 October 2023, the Maduro administration charged Guaidó with money laundering, treason, and usurping public functions, issued an arrest warrant and asked the international community to cooperate with an arrest of Guaidó, requesting a red notice be issued by Interpol. Guaidó has denied the charges made against him in the arrest warrant.
  
  Great timing by Maduro lol, surely lots of attention would be paid to his request if nothing happened the next day to overshadow it
  
  The 7th of October attack was actually a cover up to hide that the eternal TRUE president of Vuvuzela was charged with treason.
  
  surely lots of attention would be paid to his request if nothing happened the next day to overshadow it
  Is the news in the U.S. still talking about Venezuela? I think since Maduro visited Petro in 2022 and Lula in 2023, his and Venezuela's image has improved a bit. I remember Maduro saying "Brazil is back (something Lula said when he won the election), and now Venezuela is back."
  Then the following week Biden started returning Venezuelans to Venezuela, the US, China and Russia gave money and offered to send the parts needed to fix the oil production equipment Venezuela needed.
  Even in the recent crisis in Guyana, the US did not seem so interested in it, especially they tried to send some planes there, but in the end they accepted the mediation of Brazil and Caricom in the crisis. Biden even thanked them for it.
  
  The only recent news was the unblocking of funds or something. Probably some share of offshore oil profits
- Probably really hoping to catch a glimpse of this baddie

947 comments