I saw that there reports he didn't fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did... Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy?!?!
Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.