Western society, as it is, is fucked for men. We are told to not be emotional, to not ask for help, to man up etc. etc. If a man, god forbid, does any of these things he gets ridiculed and shown next to no compassion. We get emotionally stunted from an early age and are told no one will help.
So should we be shocked that that averages out to less concern about others well being? It has taken me decades to undo the damage done by a cold harsh civilization. If we want anyone to show compassion they must first be shown compassion.
As a man I have to say this has not been my experience growing up at all. I can not relate to anything you just said. Maybe your small circle lacked proper role models?
While it wasn't my experience either, it has been the experience of some men that I talk to, and if you ever look at how conservative men talk, you can see that the "traditional man" concept is still being pushed on them.
If does seem like it's getting better, but as you said, it definitely depends on your social and family circles.