I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it's vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.
Last time I had chili at the hexbear compound it was too spicy, and when I asked for milk you gave me soy milk and I said "nooo it doesn't gave the enzyme that disables capsaicin!" and you all called me a milkboy nerd while I cried into my chili.