Well I do have around 200 pictures of my butthole, and if I was held for ransom where those pictures were emailed to either of my grandfathers then I would pay a tidy sum to prevent it. Grandma, mom, dad, step-niece, I don't care. But if my grandfather might see my butthole, I would happily pay $40m to keep him from seeing my bare back butthole and balls. I don't want you all to get the wrong idea, I love Gramps, but he has seen enough of my butthole, and I want to stay in his will.
I have, in fact, gained access to your sphincter vault. I will be emailing these pictures to both of your grandfather's (and 2 excoworkers). Please send me 40 million dollars to scammy(dot)scam scam(at)notascam(dot)com.
I wanted to do one of those old school photo montages where I took a picture everyday. It becomes a real chore trying to find time to expose your dump truck. Call it sunken cost fallacy, but my butthole has done a lot for me over the years.
I mean, why do we take pictures of our offspring? They're keepsakes to remember how they've grown. When I play them the montage on their death beds they can finally say, "you sure have grown into a giant asshole."