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While I'm not quite that blunt, I do tend to take a utilitarian approach to institutions. When I went to school, I went there to attend classes, learn, work, the like. When I went to a job, I went there to work. I don't really know how to approach people; the few times I've tried I've only made people uncomfortable, and mostly I just sit on my own and focus on what I'm "supposed" to be doing.
This left me burning out with depression and failing out of university, unable to find a job and being some kind of unhirable that I don't know why or how to fix as I've spent three years looking for anything that will hire me with no takers, and I have absolutely no friends. I'm a man in my thirties with almost no work experience, no marketable skills, no connections, living off the kindness of family, and just ever-growing gaps in an almost empty resume.
Don't be like that triceratops. And for the love of fuck, don't be like me!
Hey mate I know what if feels like to be a bit like that. What did you major in?
I have got to stop oversharing. I just deleted a three-paragraph explanation of shit you didn't ask for. Sorry abut that. Anyway, it was a BS in Mathematics.
Career wise, I’d focus on something mathematics-adjacent. How were your grades? If they weren’t excellent, I’d think you could pivot into software engineering or data science. I make a fair amount of money WFH doing software engineering and it’s great for my mental health.
It sounds to me like you also need to work on your motivation, confidence, and mindset. You need some wins. Even small ones would probably help a lot.
What helped me climb out of my rut was hitting the gym regularly. I held myself to going once per week, and it became an addictive habit. The fact that I was able to hold myself to going three times a week for several months on end at some point really increased my motivation.
Hahaha! Uh, they weren't great for a combination of factors, especially in my last year when I failed Real Analysis. Twice...
I've tried coding. Not very good at it. Scripting can be fun, but I'm just really, really crap at it. Took the 101/102 classes for CS as one of my science requirements. I actually took 101 twice because I had taken it in community college first and the credit didn't transfer. Three CS classes, never finished a final project. I couldn't ever get them close to working for some reason. Like, I got a C or better as a final grade without ever turning in a final project in each class, but still. My practical application of software engineering is, well, impractical.
As it is, a portfolio and networking (heh) tend to be the most important that I've heard from a lot of people when it comes to software engineering. I've tried to dabble, currently trying to battle my depression enough to actually work on making a point-and-click game in Adventure Games Studio. And my progress is just... Abysmal.
Look man, at the end of the day nobody can help you but yourself. You’ve got to make the decision to change your life. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic at first— literally holding yourself to a good habit once a week may be enough to eventually create meaningful change in your life.
Yeah, I mean, I know. I've heard it all before, I've tried to work on things, like, I'm an adult, I've been doing this for a long time, I know how it goes. I was putting my story up as a warning to others. I'm not looking for a savior.
Idk how it is in the United States but I’m in Australia, and I got my first WFH job out of uni by making a clone of a compound interest calculator in React. If you struggle with a lot of the harder parts of coding, you could probably still eek out a good living as a front end developer.
You did well. Work on fluffing up. marketing skills even for things that may seem strange to talk about. Be more dramatic, but don't lie. Don't personalize. Instead, specialize yourself and stick with it. Don't limit yourself to one job title or career path, and explore. Interview and ask questions. Learn to be curious, but don't try to be an everything guy. Ask for help or try to offer help. See if you can start trading things or services, no matter how small, but get it in writing once it becomes large, expensive, or risky. Good luck