1w ago

Data can be hurtful

220 comments

One time, I used Tinder. I'm pan, so I chose men, women, or any other form of identity. My Asian friend is honestly a 10/10. I'm white, and I'd rate myself a 7. I'd match with EVERY single man. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. He got NO ONE. My main point is, it's a bunch older men who want to fuck a white twink. I don't know why that app has drawn that demographic, but they have. All that being said, using Grindr to just "hang out", with people was way nicer. Sorry if you're not a half gay, sloppy toppy. That's just my anecdotal experience.
- Depends on where you live. If you're in a rural mostly white area you'll get less matches as an ethnic person because people don't even consider other races.
  
  I lived in LA, lmao
  
  Interesting. I'm half Asian. Probably a solid 7 or 8 as well and I get lots of matches. That said I'm a dom top and I think this hits a particular fetish a lot have and we're rarer than Asian twink bottoms.
  
  Good! I want to be wrong.
- Quick question, I'm also pan and only now beginning to explore my sexuality. I've avoided setting up a Grindr account because I always thought it was just a hookup app and I'm not particularly interested in casual sex. Do people actually date on there or is it's reputation well earned? Haven't had any luck with the fellas on tinder, hinge, or bumble. Maybe I just look too straight lol
  
  Grindr is a cesspool, but I have made some quality matches. Some just-friends connections and yes hookups. Grindr is basically designed for that.
  But if you have a stand out profile that shows you as an active person with real interests (not just a fit torso, good god people, branch out!), other substantive people will be open to talking real connections.
  And hookups can be sad, gross affairs for sure. But not every short-term relationship has to be meaningless. It’s okay to agree to just play and enjoy the experience as a future treasured memory.
  For that more human kind of connection, however, Feeld is more likely to yield that in my experience.
  
  Oh yeah, no hate to hookups and short term relationships at all, just not really my cup of tea. I'm not even completely against it for myself but that's something I would rather have happen organically than seek it out if that makes sense. I'm all about emotional connection before physical haha
  
  Then definitely check out Feeld. The whole place is about the feels before the frolic. Good luck!
  
  It's a lot more forward. Just tell people what you want up front. If you want to hook up, you want to hook up. Sometimes, you just want to be in the presence of a queer friend. Sometimes, that friendship turns into a 10-year relationship. Just be honest and safe. That's how I met my partner. All that being said, that was a long time ago for me. So things may have changed.

220 comments