Data can be hurtful

I wouldn't make that conclusion, but it does seem clear that Tinder is a waste of your time.

Tinder is a hellhole intentionally designed to keep people lonely and depressed so they'll pay up for the "gold" features. The gender split is well past 80/20 male/female so good luck with straight matches, and the number of bots they leave up to waste your swipes is incredibly high, so even that ratio is probably worse.
- Few years back I was on 5 dating sites, knocked it out the park on three of them. Got maybe 2 dates from Tinder and 1 from eHarmony (who I married!) Tinder was the first one I dropped, but they somehow fucked me out of an extra month or two.
  
  Isn’t eHarmony a Christian dating site? I’ve heard people get bounced with no matches immediately based on some religious questions.
  
  Hinge worked for me. There was no pressure of "writing the perfect bio" - just pick 3 interesting questions that are insightful into who you are and you're off to the races.
- I'm pan and I can't even match with a guy lolol :(

I was on all the gay apps plus Tinder, looking for even one decent conversation let alone a date. Bummed out hearing my housemates have loud sex all the time.
Eventually I decided to loosen my standards a little and changed the Tinder age range from 25-30 to 18-45. The next day I went on a date with the younger gentleman of 23 (I was 29 btw) and now we're happily settled down with two dogs and a cat.
So moral of the story is - if you can't get a date, review your preferences. You never know what you might be missing for no good reason.
- scratches chin
  So, I need to be gay? That does turn over quite a few new leaves.
  
  I mean, if only gay guys are offering... why be picky? ;p
  Girls have done things to me when I was in the mood and didn't say no...
  I'm 100% gay and find the V gross, but sometimes you have a spare $20 and just want that massage to end happily before going back to the office...
  
  Gay and willing to date young dudes.

Fuck the Capitalist commodification of love.
Drop the dating apps & muster up the patience go do things & meet people irl instead.
- I don't think I've ever met someone organically and then dated them
  
  They say workplace relationships don't work and they're probably right, but the problem is that's the only place you ever meet anyone these days.
  
  Yeah I think that's common, but it's literally how we've been doing it since, well, forever.
  Big Tech wants you to think it's scAAaRRrry BooOoOOo!
  (I mean, tbf, sometimes it is. Also humiliating lol).
  
  Opposite for me. I've gone on plenty of first dates via apps, and a few second dates, but have only ever "dated" people that I happened to meet organically.
  
  I have! Once, in highschool, it went poorly
- Honestly, I'm good. I never really used apps but I have had a lot of girlfriends through mutual friends and such. I'm just over it. I'm tired of romance and especially tired of sexuality. I just want to program computers.
  
  Careful or you'll get exactly what you're asking for.
- Women do not want to be approached in public.
  We're better off regulating dating apps and predatory buisness practices, because people prefer to use apps.
  
  Women as a whole want different things, and often don't know what they want from moment to moment. In my experience, most women prefer to be approached in public under some circumstances, and what those circumstances are differs wildly from woman to woman.
  
  Women are human individuals and not a single-minded monolith.
  What women universally don't want is to feel threatened, creeped out or objectified. It is perfectly possible to talk to someone without doing any of these. Though it gets a lot easier when you view them as humans.
  
  I said elsewhere that writing a good profile is a skill many people have neither the aptitude nor training for, and thus fuck it all up.
  Talking to strangers in public? Also a skill, and I'd say a much more difficult one with much higher stakes.
  I've known charismatic sensitive people that can read a scene and chat up people. That's an outlier. Most people are bad at all of that.
  also, remember the "man or bear? Definitely the bear" thing from a while ago? Still a thing.
  
  I missed the part where the person your responding to said in public?
  Go to meetups, the climbing gym, run clubs, volunteering, language class, literally anywhere you meet people
  
  When & who it is/is not appropriate to approach is a totally separate issue from what I'm talking about.
  I think the problem has more to do with the expectations of meeting people via dating apps vs organically irl, especially through common interests/activities.
  Also, let's be real, regulating Capitalism does not work (look around).
  
  Take a class.
- Fuck capitalism for sure, but the apps can still work. I know happily married couples who met on tinder. Not saying that it's everyone's experience, but still. The more avenues people are open to the better sometimes.
  
  We're a happily married couple who met through OkCupid, back when that was decent!
  
  The problem is when it works it's despite the algorithm not because of it. It's probably easier for women, as there are more men on dating sites and there are women on dating sites.
  
  I met my wife on Tinder in 2015 ❤️ Met her on my second week.
- I think I've had like two dates from in-person meets, and if I put effort (without paying) into it I can get like 1-3 dates a week on the apps. I'm not a model or other outlier.
  I live in an urban area and put effort into writing messages. The bar for men is really low.
  All of that said, fuck the capitalist hellscape.
  
  Quality over quantity, bruv.
- Hell yeah!
- Agreed that the capitalist commodification of love sucks, but also, who even does things IRL anymore? And if you do, success rate isn't that great either, unless you abide by rules 1 and 2.
  I'm no longer single, but when I was, there were two main activities I did outside of work. Gym - a place where it just feels wrong to approach women. And women never approached me. Bar - cozy local small community place where I had plenty of great conversations with a lot of people, many of whom were women, but most were in relationships already. Maybe it's the same for women as it is for men, where in a relationship you're more confident and thus have an easier time talking to strangers. Made some friends though.
  When I was on Tinder, though, with my fairly mediocre appearance, I'd still get matches. Not every day, but at least a couple a month in even the slower periods and like half of them evolved into at least conversations (not a simple "hey" -> unmatch). Met some IRL. Both times I've been on Tinder, I eventually found someone there, though it was over a year in both cases (nearly 3 years second time). And both times the person I found was someone who'd pretty much just joined. I don't live in what I'd call a big city though.
  Nowadays, I also work from home with no office option (unless I rent one for myself), so even shitting where I eat is not an option if I become single. What DO people do in their free time where they meet new people, besides nightlife activities? I'm not interested in drinking 2-3 nights a week anymore lol
  
  Hobbies, classes, sports teams, volunteering
  If you want to meet women, take a pottery class, join a softball league, take knitting lessons, join a book club, volunteer at a local animal shelter, go to the library regularly, join a protest, join a running or biking group, or even look around on one of those meetup apps for activities in your area
  Maybe your problem was that you only went to your gym and your bar, instead of trying to meet new people? The point is, it's easy to get stuck into a routine, and swiping on Tinder often becomes part of the routine
  
  Isn't great? Eh I'm 1 for 1 and I most certainly do not follow rule one or two. Just talked and made it work with a friend of a friend

This is how you find out your profile’s bad.
I don’t know how applicable this is to this persons specifically, but here’s some general advice from someone who’s been on both sides (I’m trans), and got a high amount of matches either way.
Every woman I’ve spoken to about Tinder agrees :
Men overwhelmingly have profiles with little to no info in their bio (most often copy-pasted jokes, extremely generic facts like “I like food and music”…)
And poorly taken and/or cringe photos (posing with their car, half drunk with half a dozen other people, making a weird face, showing off nonexistent gains…)
If you want more matches, you need good pictures (not blurry, not from far away, not backlit) that stand out from the rest (especially, no one cares about your car. An expensive car is a huge douchebag redflag), and a bio that actually says something about your hobbies, world view, etc.
So, in summary, two steps :
Actually be an interesting person (probably already true, but hard to fix if not)
Communicate that properly (easier than you think, see above)
- It's been a minute, but it was an automatic "no" when someone would answer "what are 5 things you can't live without" were stuff like food, water, and air. Yes, I know that. Tell me about yourself!
  It was almost always men that answered that way.
  I know I'm incredibly dull. I'm average looking. I was a single parent. A decent picture and a little about myself and I did alright though, even with the ladies.
  
  I have bad news: lots of non-men also post useless stuff like "I can't live without water lol" or "what are you looking for: my keys lmfao"
  Having a good profile is a skill, probably related to marketing, and some people have neither natural aptitude nor training in it.
  
  "ACKtually, there are certain molecules and bio-organisms you can't live without and-- Hey, where are you going!?"
  
  I think it's nuts people don't think of it like a resume.
- Counterpoint: tried the above to make a "good" profile, and also a "basic" profile literally generated from AI as a control.
  The basic AI generated profile full of cliches and revealed nothing about me consistently got more attention.
  Research has shown that most people overwhelmingly prefer "average" people, so if your goal is just maximising the number of matches then an "interesting" profile is actually worse.
  
  I don't think we can draw conclusions from this without knowing more details about what was in the "good" profile.
  If the "good" profile was interesting like "I love extratone and 16th century spanish poetry" I can see why that won't get hits. People can't relate to it. But the matches you do get will be starting in a better position.

You assume people are actually getting to see your profile. There are no stats of that available though.
- I don't know how good their algorithm is nowadays, but generally Tinder will show you profiles they think you'd want to match with, but ideally not get in a lasting relationship with. They want you to keep using the platform, not find true love.
  If you get swiped left enough, Tinder won't really show you to most people. That part of their algorithm definitely works, it's easy. I'm not sure if they've yet found a way to quantify risk of lasting relationship.
  
  My last experience (late 2022) is that if you're a free user, they will never show your profile to someone you've swiped right for, nor show you any profile that has liked you, in order to force you to buy the premium and get to see who liked you

Back when we were a real civilization, we didn't try to find matches by looking at someone's photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
Why are so many people doing an act that is objectively creepy, stupid and most users hate the entire experience? I haven't met a single fucking person who enjoys tinder or online matchmaking in general. None. Not men, not women.
GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE. (edit: and talk to people. I can't believe I have to add this detail, you cannot just literally walk around outdoors and expect something to happen, I'm just saying get off the internet, stop fucking scrolling and reading other people's thoughts, it's not helping you, strike up conversations and learn to get over yourself. You're alone because your head is rammed so far up your own ass you can't breath. DO NOT GO HIT ON RANDOM PEOPLE YOU DUMB FUCKS, SERIOUSLY "GO OUTSIDE" IS A METAPHOR FOR GETTING A REAL LIFE OFF THE INTERNET.)
This is distorting all your perceptions of what "attractive" even means. Last schlub I saw whining about this was just a normal-ass dude like my neighbor who has a wife and kids. All this talk about "attractiveness" makes no consideration for how humans actually feel about each other when they get to know each other.
"But it's not that simple! The rest of the world is changed! You can't just go talk to people! This is a oversimplification of a complex problem! REEEE!"
Bull. Shit. You tried like once or twice and people didn't warm up to you and you felt ashamed. Or some dumb teenager broke your heart. That experience was supposed to teach you to try a different way, not teach you to give up. Shame is useless, it's often a sign of having your head too far up your own ass. There are billions of people on Earth living the way we've lived for literal centuries. If you met some people you don't match with, try several more. Even if you meet a million people, you're still meeting 0.0125% percent of the population. Seriously, make EFFORT.
You are not a victim in this. Shed that automatic reflex to lash out at anyone who makes you feel accountability and you just might make it.
- Why are so many people doing an act that is objectively creepy, stupid and most users hate the entire experience?
  The death of third places.
  
  Ahh I see you'd like to exist, that'll be 10 dollars please.
  
  That's part of it, but missing third places are as much a symptom as a cause.
  Because tell me, if you walked outside and your neighborhood was restructured and there were bars and a riverwalk and cafes and old dudes with funny hats painting scenes, would that actually help the huge swath of people who have never grown up in places where you go outside and know everyone?
  Third places are more than places they're community connection areas, and yah it can certainly help if the physical locations are there, but the big ingredient that makes it work is that people who live around these places have a history already of going out to meet friends, coworkers, family, casual acquaintances you value the opinion of, and so on. You never ran down to Horace's shop when you were 9 years old with a $5 to buy milk for your mom, and it was okay because you knew Horace, everyone in the area knows each other, and people looked out for each other.
  We're missing some deeply fundamental things in the modern world, particularly in the USA and dense urban areas. A huge one is learning to just talk to other people without shame or fear... a LOT of our space and life would become designed around this kind of life if we actually valued it. We are falling for the comfort trappings of suburban/apartment hell where you can see any virtual world from your flat screen and VR goggles and talk to an AI who will order you dinner without having to talk to anyone.
- When exactly was that "real civilization"? When people were being arranged into marriages? Or when people would put ads into newspapers to find love? Or when dating shows started on TV? The next step after TV was pretty much Tinder. We have never been above using "creepy and stupid" options.
  I don't get the hate dating apps get. It's a tool like every other, it helps you meet people outside of your regular circle. It's not ideal because it's next to impossible to everything you are into a short profile but it's better than the solutions we came up before. The issue is that people don't know how to use Tinder. Most people have no idea what their profile should look like, they put too much importance on any kind of a match and then they try too hard to get anywhere. Tinder match is the real world equivalent of locking your eyes someone on the street or a bar or a cafe or whatever. Just because that happened doesn't mean anything more will happen. You don't run after everyone who looks at you begging them to date you. So why do that on Tinder?
  
  Millenial here. Never used online dating. Never used arranged marriages. Never used newspapers.
  Dated a bunch. Just met and befriended a lot of people through shared areas of interest. Indoor soccer mixed league / gardening group / dog park / dog events at a local shop.
  I also wasn’t creepy and bothered people with trying to get a relationship from these events. Just a chatty comical person. And with regular attendance - bumped into similar people over time and eventually did more personal shit with them and felt out why.
  Online dating sort of (to me) turns the act of dating into a hobby or even a profession? and then people land these relationships where they expect something out of the other person. “You need a perfect resume with good line spacing and indentation, if you want connection!”
  When I just pursued my hobbies and enjoyment areas and bumped into people who mutually enjoyed those things and would just talk about those things. Like at most seek connection to the things you love and do them with people you like. And then build on those connections. That’s what people really want when they log into profiles.
  Note I don’t have any social media other than Lemmy. Haha.
  
  Yes, literally those are our only options here, dark-ages arranged slavery or "The Love Connection" or dating apps everyone (but you!) hate with a passion. That's really spot-on. Perfect, exactly the smart, nuanced responses I'm always delighted to have to interact with.
  The "people don't know how to use Tinder" is fine, great, fucking whatever. In the end all you're doing is trying to replicate the way people have been meeting and getting to know each other for eons. If it works for you, FINE GO USE IT. I'm obviously not talking to the minority who enjoy the effort of trying to replicate natural human behavior on a glowing screen.
  I'm very obviously talking to the people it doesn't work for or who have the same problems online as they do in real life. The huge fucking difference here is with dating apps, when you're done swiping that's it, you don't learn anything, you don't figure out how to be a better conversation partner, you don't self-reflect in any healthy way and that's how most people use it. It's gestures into the darkness.
- Back when we were a real civilization, we didn’t try to find matches by looking at someone’s photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
  My parents met by getting introduced to each other in what's effectively an arranged marriage. Well, technically, it was not forced per se, but the village elders and/or their parents pressured it, they show photos, then they were pressured to agree to an arranged meeting, y'all talk to each other. The elders verify your 时辰八字 (some astrology stuff) to verify "compatibility". Then if y'all like each other, the marriage happens. From what my mother told me, they could refuse, but then their parents / village elders just keep trying to find a new partner for you. Marriage is an expectation. 🤷‍♂️
  This was like 1990's, Guangdong Province, People's Republic of China.
  My parents are still trying to do arranged arranged marriage for my older brother (we live in the USA now) because my mother is afraid he wouldn't find a spouse. He doesn't seem to care about marriage either.
  As for how my parents relationships are, I don't think they really "love" each other, they kinda just put up with each other "for the kids". When they do get in arguments, it can be quite terrifying, especially when I was still in K-12 school.
  There's like this expectation for you to get married early and have kids. (My older brother is many years older then me, and he's is approaching 30 years old)
  My reaction to this shit, is: I don't wanna get married lol. I hate the idea of living with another human being. I never have any desires for romantic relationships. I wanna live and die alone. (And especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain't doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents.)
  (Btw, I'm not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me)
  
  As someone who is living in a non-arranged marriage, if it turns out well, a relationship can be quite magical.
  It just sucks how dating looks like today, but if it works out, it is worth all of the shit.
  
  "Btw, I'm not even supposed to be born. My mother disobeyed the One Child Policy and gave birth to me"
  .
  "especially, fuck arranged marriages, ain't doing that shit, rather be single than miserable. Not having one of the most important choices be dictated by parents"
  Right on, dude 🤘 Your entire existence is a rebellion so you might as well go the whole hog and live your way
- Back when we were a real civilization, we didn’t try to find matches by looking at someone’s photograph, we would have considered that creepy and stupid.
  That's not true at all. Video, photography, and even paintings, have been used as early stages of courtship going back centuries. Matchmaking professionals have historically made heavy use of visual mediums to entice prospective partners into meeting. I remember dating services in the 1980s that would use video introductions and Polaroid photos to get people to meet one another. Photograph catalogues of singles ready to mingle in Matrimonial Ads of the 19th century. Oil paintings and ink sketches were commonly traded people prospective partners before that. Whatever you might say of the method, it isn't new.
  GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE.
  I'll never understand the folks who think going to a service specifically dedicated to meeting other single people and courting them is weirder than approaching random people and hitting on them in public.
  
  weirder than approaching random people and hitting on them in public.
  TBF that is pretty weird, where exactly did I say do that?
- Back when we were a real civilization, we didn't try to find matches by looking at someone's photograph
  You just used to make funny videos instead: https://youtu.be/GGdQCicz4Ro
- I agreed with this until I started doing lots of “go outside” stuff and realized there was a bit of nuance. Decided pretty quickly that I’d keep the dating separate from sports/activities because I really enjoy them and things get weird if you treat it like a dating pool. Now I somehow have to work up the courage to talk to someone without a contrived activity bringing us together.
  
  Now I somehow have to work up the courage to talk to someone without a contrived activity bringing us together.
  If the activity feels contrived, it's probably the wrong fit. Yes, there is a deep realm of nuance to the "go outside" trope but it is real, at least in this case it's being spoken from a place of experience. (Try growing up for the first couple decades of your life in a literal cult compound with no phone, an hour from the nearest gas station.)
  It feels really weird the first time you strike up a conversation with a stranger for "no reason" but you do get over it. In fact, people don't view you the way you're imagining, as long as you're not pushy or trying to be some kind of douche to compensate for insecurity, you will just be seen as someone with character and friendliness.
  Look, I will pass on one HUGE tip that will make you seem like "the guy" which is to learn to be hospitable. Care about if the people around you are comfortable, not like you want to get them to like you, not in a fussing overbearing way, but like, imagine how you feel alone around strangers, and make that experience better for them. Men, women, whatever. Everyone wants someone to reach out and ask them how they're doing and what they're up to.
  For someone you might have romantic interests in, don't over-invest and always give them an out. Say hi, offer a complement (fashion choices or hair are better choices than intrinsic qualities like eyes or features.) and then you say "Well, nice to see you, I'm going to go get a slice of pizza/a fresh drink, would you like anything?" Or whatever people are doing there for fun. Or say "Cool, I have to catch a call in a few minutes, but it was great talking."
  AND THEN YOU LEAVE. Just go, don't have expectations but also don't literally run away and avoid people. You're just introducing yourself, and you may never see them again, but if you're doing this consistently, this is what people associate you with. Sooner or later someone will say "I'll be at the thing by the place after this, I hear they serve good [STUFF] want to come try it?"
  That one simple trick will take you further than any dating coaches or tricks. It's just called being hospitable, giving people space but being present. Plant a seed, nurture it over time. You form friend groups like this, you become popular at parties and work functions, you make potential partners feel at ease as long as you're consistent and keep a take-it-or-leave-it attitude.
- because people dont have social skills anymore. COVID really fucked a lot of people up, and when you see what happens to the people who even try to make an attempt, it really turns you off of doing anything, just ever in general. I dont have this problem cuz I kinda lucked out on social skills IRL, even if I suck at it online :p just celebrated my 3rd anniversary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3rmrml1oNs
  
  I say this to everyone out there, this is a "buy the dip" opportunity time for people on a social level. Go adopt a group of poorly-socialized peers and just reinvent socializing from the ground up. No rules, no enforcement, wanna play retro games and get high like teens? How about everyone goes to the horse races even though nobody knows how? Just go buy a couch together, decide who gets it after with a game of chance.
  This is how movements are made. I'm not even kidding, there are TONS of people out there of all walks of life who just want someone to show them how to "social" and are scared of doing something strange and being embarrassed. Everyone is in this deeply isolated headspace hoping someone throws a rope and offers a way out.
  Be a way out. Worst that happens is half of them flame out, you still end up with some people in your life you can talk to and hang out with. If you're single, maybe you will hit it off with one of them or someone they know, but if not, who cares. It's still better than being alone.
  None of us get out of this alive.
- No meaningful relationship I’ve ever had has come from an app, they’ve all been through connections I’ve made IRL. As frowned upon as it seems to be, I met my fiancée at an old job. I’m not what you would call conventionally attractive and find the whole online dating thing a bit awkward so IRL seems to be where I shine in that regard because my other qualities come through and not just my looks. At the other end of the spectrum, one of my sisters met her fiancée through an app and seems to have found several meaningful relationships before him through apps too.
  I think that fighting the apps is a losing battle - as third spaces continue to disappear people have to meet somewhere. I think there’s room for them in the dating space. However I agree that as a society we need to tackle the toxic expectations they create, and we also need to remember that just like every other big tech platform, they make money from your engagement.

He must be doing something drastically wrong for not even the ThotBots to be matching with him.
- the ThotBots
  Are those the matches that only want to talk about World of Warcraft?
  
  You say that like it’s a bad thing
  
  "Hey cutie! Can you tell me where I can find Mankrik's Wife?"
  
  Shutup and take my virginity

I recommend homosexual dating.
- I’m not sure how accurate that’s going to be compared to carbon dating but I’ll give it a go I guess.
- Always struck me as a pain in the ass.
- Yeah, the only times in my life I couldn’t quickly get gay-laid were when I went through difficult times that left me temporarily rizzless.
  
  How did you turn it around? Did you apply for Rizz Stamps / SNAP? Were you able to get temporary rizz?
- As a homosexual dater, I dissent.
- I always wanted to join bear colony.
  
  But aren't you scared of the women?
  I heard bears attract them
- My homosexual dating looks a lot like OP's. Truth be told, the gays want poly or nothing, and fun without commitment. 🤷‍♂️
  If you only want to get laid it's great but expect plenty of picky folks and beware of the STDs.
- I kind of agree with this. I have no interest in that preference but they do seem a lot more open and straightforward about their interest, than dating women
  Of course they’re also more driven by appearance, so that advice about hitting the gym goes double
  
  Yeah! Fuck women. If I could. Legally. If she agreed with. I gotta ask my wife first. She said no.

In montreal? Is your profile in English? Might be the problem

In 2014 I tried an experiment. I let my profile run for two months. First couple of weeks I used a standard headshot type picture. Nothing. Then I switched to a picture of me playing the guitar. A couple of hits. Finally I switched to a picture of me wearing headphones and fiddling with my old sequencer. Tons of hits.
If you can't hit them with good looks (I'm not handsome) then at least use an interesting photo that tells a story and showcases an unusual or unique thing about you in a positive light.
- Bingo! Can't remember the pics I used, but I went for several different looks so women would know what they were getting into, not just my very best. That comes across honest, because it is.
  Aimed for pics of me doing interesting and active things like kayaking and cooking and such. No dead animals, hot rods, motorcycles, bros, etc. No stereotypical manly bullshit.
  Also, inject some humor. Like an old friend told me about sales, "If they're laughing, they're buying." On one post I ended with, "And as god as my witness, I hate NASCAR." Ended up married to a huge NASCAR fan.
  Pro tip for the guys: Setup an account as a woman looking for a man. Take an afternoon and dig around. See what the other guys are doing? Do not do that shit.
  
  My wife still remembers one of the profile pics I had - I was goofing around wearing a super-sized cereal box on my head.
  Had that one, a "normal" shot that was my profile picture, and some casual shot I don't remember now. Put that one up on my sister's advice, and that's the one that still stands out in my wife's mind!
  I swear humans use confidence and humor the same way peacocks use tails. If you're comfortable being silly, it says a lot about where you're at socially.
  
  There's an adorable phone game called "Tender" where you go on dates with various aliens via a Tinder-like app. That game did a good job showcasing different styles of profile and profile pic--highly recommend. Also, fun.
  
  I don't recommend really setting up a fake profile, since that kind of selfishly pees in the pool.
  Talk to your women friends. Ask them to show you what they're seeing and what they dislike.
  (If you don't have any women friends, that's kind of a red flag you should give some thinking on)

There is "ELO" in these dating apps,
Swiping a lot at a low success rate makes your elo drop and you appear less in general, and if you do appear it'll probably be to another low elo person.
I don't like dating apps but if I had to advise, delete and remake the account to be "fresh" elo with no history and say no atleast 90% of the time. With the 10% being what you think is a decent shot.

I just look in the mirror, saves a lot of time
- Look in the mirror, swipe left.
  
  If you swipe left, your mirror image swipes right. But if you swipe right, mirror-you swipes left. Sad how you'll never be together.

Sankey diagrams are cool
- Huh, i just realized orienting it vertically like this fixes one of the biggest issues with Sankey plots, which is fitting in the text annotations.
  
  Same! I have never considered this but have made plenty of plots where it is now the obvious solution.

I've gotten plenty of matches; but that's as far as I've ever gotten with Tinder. Nobody has ever messaged me or replied to my messages once we match. :/
- I'm not on tinder, so I can't match you. But I replied to your message! #solidarity
- I've not used tinder, but I've heard good results from people consulting the tinder sub for help with their profile. Also, your first message is pretty important. I'm probably not telling you anything new, but "hey" is only going to get you a response if you're a Hemsworth brother.
  
  Ask a question that indicates you actually read their profile, and not just, "So you like walking on the beach, huh?"
  Instead, "What beaches are you hitting? Ever been to Gulf Island National Seashore in Gulf Breeze? There are also a few miles of trails on the other side of the highway!"
- I've never been a big fan of Tinder. It's too hard to figure out who is a real person with the minimal profile info provided. I think you're generally better off with an app that requires(or at least allows) more effort to create a profile, and/or something a bit more focused than just hookups.
  OKCupid and Feeld are the apps that work best for me. Feeld is more for kinky and/or poly people, so it narrows down the playing field a lot. I think that makes things way easier. Of my current partners, one was on OKC and the other was on Feeld.
  
  Feeld is full of late 40s-50s cucks, swingers and unicorn hunters in my neck of the woods :/ that would be fine if that's what I was looking for but Im not. Even the "no couples" filter doesn't stop them. They just make a single account and put that they're a couple in the description. The only attention I've gotten on feeld was from DL older men that want to cheat on their wives and middle aged couples looking for a younger "bull". Like damn, I just wanna cuddle and go on fun dates, whys it gotta be all about the most smarmy, objectifying and maladapted forms of sex over here???
- full of bots

Same, but for jobs.

It's almost as though this labyrinth has been designed to extract subscriptions from desparate men and women, and actually has no intention of delivering the promised service.
- Why do you all keep saying this?! I'm not subscribing until I check the place out, and if I do, I'm not paying for the foo foo add-ons. If idiots want to buy virtual flowers, that's on them. I can tell you, the women don't give a fuck.
  Every site has this in common; You post pics and text, and so does everyone else. That's enough to spark interest and get dates. FFS, it's not like they're deliberately sending you posts of people you'll dislike and somehow hiding all the good ones behind a paywall.
  I keep thinking this is a "sour grapes" thing. Went there, tried that, failed, must be a scam. As I said in another post, go look at the posts from men, buncha sad sacks, boring as hell. Try not posting like them.
  
  Tell me you don’t know about the concept of PTW without knowing about the concept of PTW.

Lore can be harmfuller tho.

One time, I used Tinder. I'm pan, so I chose men, women, or any other form of identity. My Asian friend is honestly a 10/10. I'm white, and I'd rate myself a 7. I'd match with EVERY single man. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. He got NO ONE. My main point is, it's a bunch older men who want to fuck a white twink. I don't know why that app has drawn that demographic, but they have. All that being said, using Grindr to just "hang out", with people was way nicer. Sorry if you're not a half gay, sloppy toppy. That's just my anecdotal experience.
- Depends on where you live. If you're in a rural mostly white area you'll get less matches as an ethnic person because people don't even consider other races.
  
  I lived in LA, lmao
- Quick question, I'm also pan and only now beginning to explore my sexuality. I've avoided setting up a Grindr account because I always thought it was just a hookup app and I'm not particularly interested in casual sex. Do people actually date on there or is it's reputation well earned? Haven't had any luck with the fellas on tinder, hinge, or bumble. Maybe I just look too straight lol
  
  Grindr is a cesspool, but I have made some quality matches. Some just-friends connections and yes hookups. Grindr is basically designed for that.
  But if you have a stand out profile that shows you as an active person with real interests (not just a fit torso, good god people, branch out!), other substantive people will be open to talking real connections.
  And hookups can be sad, gross affairs for sure. But not every short-term relationship has to be meaningless. It’s okay to agree to just play and enjoy the experience as a future treasured memory.
  For that more human kind of connection, however, Feeld is more likely to yield that in my experience.
  
  It's a lot more forward. Just tell people what you want up front. If you want to hook up, you want to hook up. Sometimes, you just want to be in the presence of a queer friend. Sometimes, that friendship turns into a 10-year relationship. Just be honest and safe. That's how I met my partner. All that being said, that was a long time ago for me. So things may have changed.

They get more out of you if you don't find a date.

Wonder what percent were bots
- If you're in a situation where a bot decides to not match with you... well I got some bad news.

I'm sure you're a super sexy guy bro, dick up N chin up!

Oof, that sucks. It also took me a month of almost daily swiping to get a single match. Obviously nowhere close to your numbers but definitely discouraging. It's crazy how big the difference is between the male and female experience on Tinder. My girlfriend told me that basically every guy she swiped like on turned into a match while I was struggling to even get one...