5d ago

Women prefer a certain type rule

129 comments

This is absolutely a major contributing factor, but there's more to it than this. Everybody is lonely, pretty much regardless of gender. This issue hurts everyone.
And it is also caused in part because of how fucked up we've designed our society. It's nearly impossible to make friends as an adult because
we're all working too much to have the free time for it
there are (effectively) no third places where you can hang out with the expectation to meet people without the expectation of spending money
to get anywhere you generally need a car, highways and roads divide and spread everything which makes walking or biking difficult
social media is run for profit, not for the sake of actually connecting people
these above issues feed into the issue OP is pointing out. If you are lonely and your life isn't going too well, then you're gonna seek answers for this complicated issue. And fascists are all too willing to take advantage and provide simple answers. It then turns into a self feeding cycle.
I'm sure there's a bunch of other reasons too, but those are the ones of the top of my sleep deprived head. Even if all the above awful values men have disappeared, the above problems would still need to be fixed.
- Also to add to the list:
  As third-places don't exist without paying for things, more socialisation has moved online where intimate connections are not as deep as inperson so the connections are weaker and don't last as long.
  Internet socialising has a tendency to form echo chambers and social bubbles so interacting with new people with different perspectives, even online, is more difficult which is eroding socialising skills.
  Dating sites and apps have capitalized on this loss of places to meet people and most of these platforms are controlled by a single entity: Match Group.
  Match Group are explicitly making the dating experience worse for both men and women because it makes more money for them and they have little to no competition.
  It goes like this: women get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of messages and harassed on the platform, women leave those platforms, fewer % of women on the platform, men then pay money to get more potential matches, women get overwhelmed, and therefore the cycle repeats.
  At least that's my impression from the experience I have had and observed when asking my women friends about it. Not sure how the experience is for those looking for non-hetrosexual relationships, please comment below how it's similar or different for other groups.
  
  If that were true then the number one dating app would be Bumble because it only lets the women message. I don't think anyone is being "overwhelmed" by the amount of messages they receive. No one I've spoken to has ever said anything like that.
- Ding ding ding ding.
  On the bright side ive had time to use dumbbells between meetings and I've never looked better?
- we're all working too much to have the free time for it
  there are (effectively) no third places where you can hang out with the expectation to meet people without the expectation of spending money
  to get anywhere you generally need a car, highways and roads divide and spread everything which makes walking or biking difficult
  social media is run for profit, not for the sake of actually connecting people
  these above issues feed into the issue OP is pointing out. If you are lonely and your life isn't going too well, then you're gonna seek answers for this complicated issue. And fascists are all too willing to take advantage and provide simple answers. It then turns into a self feeding cycle.
  In other words:
  Capitalism
  Capitalism
  Capitalism
  Surprise, it's also capitalism
  Don't worry, capitalism has just the solution for you!
  
  Yup, that's exactly it. But where would we be without the myriad of problems capitalism causes?
- There are loads of area’s where you can get around without a car, which increases area’s to be outside and meet others.
  For a lot of people including me it is a choice to use the car as much as we do.
  
  Very, very dependent on where you are. You're on feddit.nl so I'll assume you live in the Nederlands. For... Most of the US, going without a car is either not really doable or you will absolutely miss out on going lots of places.
  Really wish that wasn't the case but alas.
  
  If more people go with bike and/or walk you would have more infrastructure for it. Also keep annoying your local representatives.
  Where there is a will there is a way.
  Even in the US there are places that are inaccessible by car as far as I know. Then again some people in the US also have the BS abuse that wide bike lanes make it harder for fire trucks etc to get around ….
  
  Oh we try but it's a very uphill battle. Not to mention we have the loudest car brains all shrieking that "it isn't used!" when talking about the 2 bike lanes in a city, as if they were even connected or went anywhere people needed to go (and they are still used by yours truly and others anyhow).
  It's not really a surprise when people don't use it when they have to brave 40+mph car traffic to get to the bike lane right?
  I keep contacting my reps but I've come to the conclusion that meaningful transit and Europe-like bike infra will just never happen in my lifetime. Sad but maybe generations after me will have it.
- I'm curious if women do have as much of a problem finding a date, and why the heck don't they find the men with issues finding a date?
  
  Because they need to sort through an unsortably large quantity of matches if using an online service, and women generally need to be reserved in public for their safety when offline.
  
  I have never bothered with online dating ever. I just think of what an awful thing it is.
  
  I dipped my toes. It was pretty terrible. Luckily I was able to find a partner elsewhere.
  
  Not really dating atm anyway. Just trying kinky stuff in Lemmy NSFW to make up for years of being AeroAce. I'm absurdly skittish, and I don't know if there's much hope for me.
  
  Best of luck o7

129 comments