Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.
The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I'm here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.
I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.
My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good "cold turkey" break would be a cruise or something.
obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for "what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness". It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who "is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours". Then pick the ones that you haven't tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.