Is being attracted to feminine traits as a man really gay? Like they're deliberately trying to look as feminine as possible. Like for me personally I'll be attracted until I realize it's a guy.
The fact there was a cock growing there at some point. The body is male, i couldnt get myself to sleep with that person. I'm fine with them being around as a friend/neighbour or whatever role they fill, but i couldn't form any real romantic relationship if i know the person was born with a penis.
No I think this genuinely comes from a fear of trans people. Transphobia. But since you're being honest and good faith, and not hateful about it, I can see why it's confusing to be called transphobic.
No. These are males (gender) presenting as feminine (presentation). Often this presentation breaks - will they have a female voice? Attitude and personality?
And if you were attracted to them... Yes, you're attracted to a man*
But being gay or bisexual or any sexuality is a spectrum. You can be bisexual, if you choose to use that label, and attracted almost entirely to women, and then the rare man. Or be attracted to all genders but still only choose to have sex with certain genders.
I just came across someone who said they were attracted to a picture of a bear (hair man). And someone said "hey, you're not straight" and they replied: "Im only attracted to this man, here, online, and I'm not having sex with anyone. So I'd rather claim to be straight."
In this case I think sexuality is a process. Maybe they will end up accepting their attraction and acting on it, maybe they won't. And either fork in the road would lead to a great life.
Is that like the consensus among scholars on the internet? Cause I have been thinking about it the same way as that other person: I am attracted to feminine traits, so I am straight.
Not that I mind at all if I'm bi or not, I am just trying to find myself so to speak. The thing for me is that if I just think of myself as bi, it feels like the easy answer. Like using bi as an umbrella term or like that meme "that's right in goes in the square hole". Like if you don't fit anywhere else you fall back to being bi? Feels like a bit of a cop out answer to me.
But then maybe I really am bi. This thing is hard man.
No its not the consensus. Thats just what I'm thinking. Hey the labels are there to help you. Don't tire yourself out over it, take the simple answer and then have fun.