I feel if you're this fragile concerning your sexuality, that any sensation around your bussy is going to lead you down a path where you crave it being filled and stretched, you're all ready on it, you're just taking the scenic route (in the closet, like waaay in the back)
Yes all the porn of it is the men enjoying it, but ironically of course. It's big gay behind it all, it says so in my gay agenda they handed out when someone comes out as some shade of queer.