I feel if you're this fragile concerning your sexuality, that any sensation around your bussy is going to lead you down a path where you crave it being filled and stretched, you're all ready on it, you're just taking the scenic route (in the closet, like waaay in the back)
Mayhaps we could get our bosses to lick our doodoo azzez clean after the revolution? Very sustainable and green, plus after so much brown nosing to get where they are I'm sure it's kink and therefore ethical.