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Buy your pizza at a small independent local pizza place.
It's going to be so much better than Dominos/Pizza Hut/Papa John's/etc that is not even funny.
They aren’t open at 3AM
As someone who has exclusively worked nights for the last 6 years, I have never needed a shitty pizza at 3am. I'd go with frozen pizzas over dominos any day.
Fine and well when supermarkets were open 24/7 or if you have one already, but in this day and age, at least in my area, the pizza places are open later than the groceries.
Ok, but "if you have one already" is pretty easy to deal with. Put it on the shopping list now and get as many as you think you'll need next time you go shopping, done. You're free to get takeaway - I don't care, it's none of my business and you don't need to make excuses - but if that's the problem it's hardly an insurmountable obstacle.
There are plenty of bad local places
They vary wildly near me, they don’t have coupons, and they cost 30-40% more than the chains.
Yeah. I think maybe I take for granted the incredible variety of food near me (yay multiculturalism!), but I'm always amazed to hear people choosing to go to Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, etc. over literally any local pizza shop. Even friends of mine in the same area with the same 1500 Italian places within walking distance, sometimes get Dominoes. Blows my mind.
"because he puts an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it fortnightly"
For me, Dominos is never a place I would consider getting pizza from if I want pizza. I get Dominos when I specifically want Dominos and a regular pizza wont scratch the itch for the salt bomb that shares a passing resemblance to pizza.
Same thing goes for taco bell. Id never consider it an option if I want mexican food, but sometimes its what youre craving