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Señor, se ha desmayado en el tren y hemos encontrado 14 kg de cocaína en su mochila. Te estamos deteniendo.
This is America, speak English
Tu quieres mayonesa en la biblioteca, por favor?
Small nitpick, but you shouldn't mix "usted" ("se ha desmayado") with informal "tú" ("te estamos deteniendo"). Also a cop isn't going to be so polite to a drug trafficker. Not one they're detaining at least.
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