When I was growing up the internet was a place to be liberated from the world say what you want to say, be whoever you want and form genuine communities with shared interests. Now the internet feels like a tool to enslave the mind with identity echo chambers and any deviation leads you to being banned and blocked shunned and silenced within a void that is inescapable. Novel unique websites coded manually by hobbyists running servers for free in the commons allowing people access to the free flow of information under the banner of "information should be free" has largely gone away with corpratisation. I miss the days when the internet was populated largely by nerds aiming to make a better world not this controlled censored hell hole of profiteering.
you're right that the problem is centered on identity, and the need social media platforms have to sort of get everyone categorized.. and fighting based on their categories.. it's what the advertisement thrives on..
it's the assumption that dialogue can be won, or it is desirable to win at combat with words, that kind of thing.. they work hard to make the whole thing SEEM like an arena.. that way we come to it with a combative attitude, assuming we won't be understood.,
I can agree with that, if you examine it all it is are people's ego responding to pixels on a device which they own, they expect a self reflection of their own ego hence when online discourse is terrible because we are all bombarded with information with people seeing different information and not understanding where that conclusion came from. It's no surprise that the rate of narcissism has climbed with the rise of the internet as well as increasing polarisation, people aren't self reflecting on why they react the way they do. I know this because over the years I self examined on why I react to what I was exposed to.
we don't give ourselves time to reflect, yeah.. everybody is mentally exhausted from it. constantly listening to someone talk directly into their ears.. doesn't matter what.. you're not allowing your mind to rest and reflect like it needs to.. so everyone is sort of stuck on broadcast at the moment.. immediately announcing their profile characteristics when you meet them.. making sure you know their boundaries..