A moderator of a community on Blahaj misgendered Me and I can't report it.
A moderator of a community on Blahaj misgendered Me and I can't report it.
Two hours ago I made a post to !libertyhub@lemmy.blahaj.zone about US politics. I had previously had a good relationship with the head moderator of this community. They've encouraged My political posts, and he's removed comments by people that misgendered Me, and reminded people of My pronouns, like in this thread two days ago:
However, an hour ago in this new thread, the same moderator who was telling people to respect My capitalised pronouns uses lowercase pronouns to address Me:
And he has left up earlier comments which also seemed to misgender Me, and which I specifically pointed out:
Even as some users in the thread gender Me correctly:
I'm making this thread in the main community because since the mod has banned Me, I can no longer report the comment or leave a reply correcting the pronoun. I would like to gain the attention of @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Misgendering trans people and banning Them at the same time so They can't do anything about it is not the kind of thing I expect to see on Blahaj. This mod is clearly 100% aware of My pronouns, and made a choice here. I suppose they could be using the general "you", but it just doesn't look like that, what with banning Me, telling Me My post isn't welcome, and telling Me to go to a different community. I used to have a good rapport with this mod, they said several times that they valued My posts. I posted something he disagrees with, and now all of a sudden respecting trans people's pronouns isn't a priority anymore. He's misgendering Me and they're leaving up comments that also misgender Me. It feels targeted.
EDIT: I cannot seem to embed images. Every time I hit edit and fix the image links and press save, they change to some kind of aussie.zone image proxy link. For now I have left them as links without embedding them.
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After reading the community’s pinned “Rules Breakdown” post, I can easily see how Your post violated their rules. 🤷♀️ And as another poster in this thread points out, it appears You’re just on a time-out, not a perma-ban.
Also, I will capitalize “you” for You as an act of politeness, but I very strongly disagree with characterizing this as “misgendering”, even after reading Your “Introduction to capitalised pronouns” post. Yes, grammar is socially defined and arbitrary. For example, the only reason African-American Vernacular English is labelled “improper” is because so many (white) people with power say so — there’s nothing inherently worse or better about it. However, it’s still necessary to reach consensus on the meaning of words, else no one could be understood.
Capitalization of Your pronoun is clearly very important to You, and it would be thus be unkind of me to refuse to accommodate You when it’s pointed out, but English is not a language where every pronoun is gendered. The capitalized version is an honorific form of the same pronoun, not a different pronoun altogether. And generally speaking, the use of honorifics (“sir” and “ma’am” being the most common ones) is becoming far less common these days. Perhaps it’s because honorifics are most frequently used to establish dominance and subservience roles, whether that be in customer service roles (“yes, sir”) or governing roles (“yes, Your Honour” or “yes, Your Majesty”). To borrow Your own example, even many Christians now refer to their god as “he” rather than “He” in written language. And of course, those of us who totally reject the notion of gods certainly don’t. Your insistence on capitalization as respect for Your divinity makes me genuinely uncomfortable as someone who doesn’t believe in divinity at all and certainly shouldn’t feel subservient to You.
I don't want My pronouns to be respected because of My gender identity, I want them to be respected because they're My pronouns and they make Me feel like Myself.
As an example, I don't really believe in binary gender. I think being men and women is a phase that everyone will grow out of one day. But I still refer to people as "he" and "she" even though I don't believe in the traditional semantic meaning. And in fact I think belief in traditional masculinity is very dangerous to women and other minorities. But I don't need to buy in to traditional masculinity to gender any trans person correctly. Nobody should have to buy into a belief system to gender anyone correctly. My pronouns are exactly as symbolic of oppression as any binary person's pronouns, which is to say that yes there is a history, but there is also hope for a better future, and we have a responsibility to bring that future into being rather than being stuck in the past.
I want to make it very clear, I completely respect Your pronouns and am working on resolving this issue.