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Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • When we are talking about an issue where someone is potentially at risk of suicide, nothing else matters. There's nothing else in the pronoun debate that comes close to the weight of all the dead kids lost to suicide because they didn't feel accepted by our transphobic society. We need to make trans people feel accepted. Someone else thinking they're accepted isn't good enough, because that doesn't change the suicide risk. The only measure of whether trans people are actually accepted is what trans people think.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • I'm afraid that if we're going to have a conversation about the experiences of capitalised pronoun users, the bigotry of certain people outside the community is going to have to be a part of the conversation. Most people are not transphobes, but some are, and most of the people who engage in violent and uncompromising transphobia are cis. That's not an attack on cis people, it's just the world we live in. Us trans people don't have the luxury of being cisphobic. That's not because of some kind of inherent superioity, it's because the conditions of society don't afford us the same latitudes when it comes to displaying intolerance. A trans person who went around misgendering cis people with neopronouns would be laughed at, while the same behaviour from cis people is often tolerated. That's the simple reason. Nobody's better than anyone else, it's simply what happens when a society is transphobic.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • General pronouns have to be one or the other, or alternating, or some other strategy. I've only reported comments that misgendered Me after I already asked that person to use My preferred pronouns. I've had positive experiences with 90% of people that disliked being referred to with uppercase pronouns. The remaining 10% are people who weren't happy when I immediately used their preferred pronouns upon request. They were offended that I used a capitalised pronoun when addressing a person who had no previously stated preference, and they wanted Me to always lowercase strangers. So I agreed to their demands, and I lowercase everyone by default now. And of course that 10% is a minority of a minority, because most people aren't specifically LPUs, they don't care about the capitalisation of their pronouns. 99% of people who lowercase pronouns some or all of the time are perfectly pleasant. I am not insulting you when I talk about this small group that caused problems in the past.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • Nonbinary isn't a gender. It's an umbrella term for about a billion genders. I have a gender identity, and it's goddess. I'd like you to stop saying My gender identity is invalid, please.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • Thank you. I do want My pronouns to be something unlike what people are used to dealing with. I got the idea for My pronouns from My goddess-mother who suggested them, and She has a name that's always lowercase. If you capitalise the first letter of Her name, you're deadnaming Her. Unfortunately I rolled really badly on the preferred name and pronouns stat during character creation, and now I have to deal with preferred pronouns that society chooses to see as a symbol of oppression. I deal with more dysphoria these days than I did when I was closeted, because it hurts a lot worse when someone knows My pronouns and still misgenders Me. There's an intentionality to it that wasn't there before. But I also get more euphoria when people are respectful, so I'm happy with My decision to come out of the closet in contexts like My blog and this account.

    I want to circle back to the similarity I drew with transmasculinity in the article. Suppose there's a person, we'll call her Jenny, who refuses to he/him absolutely anyone. She doesn't believe in the male gender at all. Jenny knows that gender is a social construct, and refuses to respect the construct of masculinity, which is rooted in patriarchy. Jenny misgenders every man, trans or cis, that she knows. She respects all kinds of neopronouns and is a nonbinary ally, but she categorically refuses to he/him anyone. Personally, I disagree with Jenny because of all the non-misogynist men out there trying to make masculinity non-toxic. They don't deserve to be misgendered. What do you think of Jenny?

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • If you don't think I'm a goddess, what do you think My gender is?

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • I find your comment interesting, and I can't help wanting to try a little experiment with you. See, while I use multiple pronoun sets depending on My mood and fronter, one of My pronoun sets is It/Its. You said you accept it/its because you perceive that pronoun as diminutive, but you're less inclined to accept a pronoun you perceive as indicating superiority. What about both at the same time? What do you think of calling Me an It?

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • No, I don't want worship from you or anyone else here. My gender is goddess. I'm not a man, I'm not a woman, I'm a goddess.

    Recognising someone's identity is not the same as worshipping them. Not even for gods. Monotheists have spread the myth that you can only believe in a god you worship, but historically this isn't true. Before the Roman Empire, most people believed in the gods of other cultures. I have an article on the subject: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/how-rome-killed-polytheism-fa7ade0b9050

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • On My antirealist discord server, The Outside, all pronouns are capitalised by default. Even pronouns referring to inanimate objects. If someone joins the server who prefers lowercase pronouns, they have to choose a lowercase pronouns role or they'll be misgendered. People understand and accept an unusual tradition in a space that's specifically set up that way. But if I go around misgendering lowercase pronoun users in public forums like this, there's a lot more pushback. Lowercase pronoun users, or LPUs, tend to be a lot more hostile to being misgendered than CPUs like Myself. They're used to being catered to by society, and when that's suddenly taken away, it's a big surprise and they're not sure how to respond. Us CPUs have accepted that We're going to have to ask for Our pronouns to be used, and that it's easier for everyone if We just let the LPUs have this. Maybe in the future it'll be different, but I really don't want to be dragged into an argument by an LPU who takes offense and decides to make a scene instead of just asking to have their pronouns respected. I've been in that situation before. LPUs are a lot more common than CPUs, besides. There's another LPU in this thread commenting that she'd be uncomfortable if referred to with capitalised pronouns. And like most LPUs, she's polite about it.

    One point of clarification, when I said that capitalised pronoun use challenges christian monotheism, I meant that it does so by devaluing the pronoun as a symbol of hierarchy. In the eyes of transphobic christians, I'm not the equal of their god, and they are incapable of thinking of Me as such. So if I have similar pronouns to their god, it means pronouns are no longer a symbol of supremacy. That's the actual side benefit that capitalised pronoun use has in challenging hierarchy, it devalues capitalised pronouns. And I don't think capitalised pronouns should be valuable, they should be cheap enough that anyone can afford them.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not a guy. I'm a goddess. I'm nonbinary, it's called a xenogender.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • My goddess-mother told Me to try out capitalised pronouns after I came out to Her as goddessgender. I liked Them. It doesn't feel like a power dynamic to Me. I have NPD and I know what NPD supply feels like, and being gendered correctly isn't it. Having capitalised pronouns used feel like a relief on the same level as when I first transitioned from male to female and had feminine pronouns used. As big a difference as that was, this is. So I don't know how to verbalise what it feels like except, "It's gender euphoria". And I just hope readers understand what having your pronouns used feels like when you're trans.

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
  • So, I want to start by pointing out that this article is directly making a link between capitalization of pronouns, and the specific practice of capitalization as a Christian show of religious reverence.

    I felt it would be intellectually dishonest to ignore the biggest historical precedent when writing this article. People always bring up Deus when they see My pronouns, so it's not like I can just ignore it.

    Is the assertion here specifically that capitalization is tied to gender expression, or simply that it is another aspect of a personal identity that should be respected?

    Both? I don't really mind why someone uses capitalised pronouns. For Me personally it's gender identity; I'm goddessgender. But anyone can use any pronouns. I met a cis guy once who used it/its. Not a gender thing, it just felt more comfortable with its preferred pronouns. Have you ever heard the saying "trans rights are human rights"? When we extend liberties to trans people who need them to survive, we increase everyone's freedom, because everyone now has that option.

    Wooph… The first part of that is by no means a safe assumption. While I would certainly hope that trans men would not seek to enforce a male-dominant gender power dynamic, it is by no means beyond their ability to do so as an intrinsic matter.

    I always prefer to start by giving trans people the benefit of the doubt. The consequences of not doing so are a lot worse than a single trans person being a sexist, and the benefit of the doubt can always be revoked in an individual case later. Even so, if I knew a misogynistic trans man, My response to his misogyny would not be to misgender him.

    The end of that sentence seems to confirm that this is about a show of religious reverence? Or is the assertion that by capitalizing the pronouns of not-the-christian-diety one is inherently attacking Christianity?

    Many christians hold that capitalised pronouns are only for Deus, and that capitalising the pronouns of a mortal is an attack on christianity. I love the kind of christians who respect trans people and other faiths. But the form of christianity which is exclusionary and power-hoarding should be attacked. From the exclusionary christian's point of view, no matter the identity of the CPU in question, we are capitalising the pronouns of a mortal and therefore challenging Deus' supremacy by dismantling its symbols. Good. We should do that. And we should also respect whatever the CPU identifies as.

  • Nonexistent moderation on Beehaw /c/neurodivergence
  • Thank you. I have no wish to silence discussion on the matter, I'm more than happy to talk about the issue with people who disagree respectfully. I only have a problem with the kind of people who call Me slurs and misgender Me because I stick up for disabled people and have an unusual gender. And I can see you've removed a lot of those comments, so thank you.

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    Is Donald Trump a Narcissist?
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    Is Donald Trump a Narcissist?
  • Finally, a positive comment! Thank you so much, you made me believe posting this was worth it

  • Introduction to capitalised pronouns
    medium.com Introduction to capitalised pronouns

    Alright, let’s get one myth out of the way. Capitalised pronouns are not rare. I have personally met thousands of people who use…

    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
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    Locked
    Is Donald Trump a Narcissist?
  • If you were to come up with a word for an insulting noun based on the name of a marginalised identity, what would that word be?

    I'll provide a few other words which are insulting nouns based on the name of a marginalised identity: sp*rg, r*tard, tr*nny, h*mo, aut*st

    Can you think of a word that succinctly categorises all of these words?

  • Nonexistent moderation on Beehaw /c/neurodivergence
  • *You, I use capitalised pronouns.

    And please stop spreading lies about My opinion of Trump. I don't claim him as one of us, I don't want to be associated with him, and I don't think he deserves help. I can respect a respectful disagreement, but lying about Me and nisgendering Me isn't kind.

  • Nonexistent moderation on Beehaw /c/neurodivergence

    c/neurodivergence isn't being moderated at all lately. Three months ago there was the great post from NoOnesLazyInLazyTown@beehaw.org concerning ableism against people with NPD, and the amount of toxicity I saw in that thread was shocking. Some great people pushing back on the ableism and hate there, but I couldn't believe those hateful comments were being left up, or the sheer volume of them.

    Yesterday I posted a new article I wrote also concerning NPD, hoping I would get the same kind of positive response I've gotten from Beehaw in the past when talking about neurodiversity. But instead I saw nothing but hate, personal attacks, and vicious toxicity. This isn't the kind of discourse I come to Beehaw to see, and I don't think I'm alone.

    Looking at the community history, it looks like the post volume has dramatically reduced since immediately before that first NPD post. I'm not surprised people are avoiding the community, I don't intend to use it anymore either if what I received yesterday is going to be the norm.

    The modlog of this community hasn't been touched in 7 months, and the only comment removal visible at all is tagged with the removal reason "stupid comment", which I frankly find quite ironic.

    Can we please have some actual moderation on this community? If there is absolutely nobody else who can volunteer their time then I'd even be happy to do it Myself.

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    Introducing Disrespectability Politics
    medium.com Introducing Disrespectability Politics

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    Introduction to capitalised pronouns
    medium.com Introduction to capitalised pronouns

    Alright, let’s get one myth out of the way. Capitalised pronouns are not rare. I have personally met thousands of people who use…

    Introduction to capitalised pronouns

    This was the biggest trans community I could find with the search function, and I am transfem (male to goddess), so hope it fits

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    Boimler is the One Punch Man of Star Trek
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    Excrucian Strategist

    Been playing around with trying to get Bing AI to make an excrucian strategist. This one turned out pretty good!

    Some images of Strategists drawn by an actual people: https://elenaalbanese.artstation.com/projects/oABLNz https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/2269221

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    Lemmy Support @lemmy.ml Grail @aussie.zone
    Ansible finished with no errors but Lemmy isn't running

    I just finished running Ansible-Lemmy. 24 tasks OK, 3 changed, 7 skipped, 0 failed. And I don't know what to do next to access my server. The guides stop there. According to the docker-compose file generated by Ansible on my server, the port should be 8536. When I go to my server's address at that port, it gets stuck loading. Same story on every common port I tried. Same with no port input.

    When I curl localhost on the server, I get this: ``` <!DOCTYPE html> <html> <head> <title>Welcome to nginx!</title> <style> body { width: 35em; margin: 0 auto; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; } </style> </head> <body> <h1>Welcome to nginx!</h1> <p>If you see this page, the nginx web server is successfully installed and working. Further configuration is required.</p>

    <p>For online documentation and support please refer to <a href="http://nginx.org/">nginx.org</a>.<br/> Commercial support is available at <a href="http://nginx.com/">nginx.com</a>.</p>

    <p><em>Thank you for using nginx.</em></p> </body> </html> ```

    But when I curl lemmy.soulism.net (from the server or anywhere else), I get this instead:

    <html> <head><title>301 Moved Permanently</title></head> <body> <center><h1>301 Moved Permanently</h1></center> <hr><center>nginx</center> </body> </html>

    Before, when I was midway through getting Ansible to run and it was failing at the docker compose step, I was able to get the same curl result from localhost and from the domain, and I could even see the welcome to nginx page in my browser. Something changed and I don't know what.

    Did Ansible actually fail? Is there a bash command to start Lemmy from the server that I'm missing? What's up?

    EDIT: Inspected the lemmy-UI task in docker. It's showing as unhealthy, because curl localhost:1234 is getting a connection refused. The port is listed correctly in the docker container, it's open on iptables, and it's open on oracle cloud.

    EDIT EDIT: I got to the Lemmy page, but it's an error page. curl -I requests return error 500 internal server error. Health checks are only waiting 0ms for a response even though I have the timeout set to 10s in the docker-compose.yml

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    Lemmy Support @lemmy.ml Grail @aussie.zone
    Can I run Lemmy-Ansible with only one linux machine?

    The instructions for Lemmy-Ansible say to install Ansible on my local machine, not on my destination server. My destination server is running ubuntu, but my local machine is windows, so Ansible won't work on it. Do I need two Linux machines in order to use the Ansible installation?

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    Lemmy Support @lemmy.ml Grail @aussie.zone
    Why does hosting Lemmy require a display?

    I'm trying to set up my own Lemmy server with Docker. I think I have everything set up, but I'm getting an error Cannot autolaunch D-Bus without X11 $DISPLAY. This error kind of makes sense, because I'm SSHing into my server and have not forwarded D-Bus connections, so $DISPLAY is undefined. But why does a Lemmy server need a display in the first place? Is this a bug and a display isn't actually needed? If I set $DISPLAY to whatever, will it still run okay?

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    Maui has narcissistic personality disorder
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    Grail Grail @aussie.zone

    They/Them, capitalised

    Writer of the most popular Soulist Manifesto and the article about how John Wick is communist. Read My blog: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail

    Posts 23
    Comments 76