[alt text: a 4-panel comic by @introvertdoodles, which is titled "Not 'Appropriate'". The first panel depicts a child wearing a very creative and unique outfit, and their parent is pointing at them and saying, "You can't wear that to church." The child is replying, "Why? All my bits are covered." In the second panel, the same child and a grandparent are eating dinner at a dining room table, and the grandparent is saying, "You aren't excused until you eat everything on your plate." The child is replying, "Why? I'm full." In the third panel, the same child is holding a stuff animal, and a different parent is telling them, "You're too old to be carrying that toy around." The child is replying, "Why? The tag just says 'ages 3 plus.'" In the fourth and final panel, the same child is sitting across from a school principal in the principal's office. The principal is saying, "You can't argue with the teacher." The child is replying, "Why? He was wrong."]

I've noticed I have a problem with not noticing people's bad intentions until I'm well into an interaction or relationship, and not having good ways to respond when I do notice. Some of this may be brain, but I think much of it is habitual from things I was taught in my upbringing that don't work well in the world.

Has anyone successfully figured this one out? I've done a ton of work on myself and gotten a lot wiser, but I still keep falling into the same trap of giving my good faith time and words to people who are semiblatantly trying to take advantage of me, are asking questions in bad faith, or are just generally being kinda mean or creepy to me. Once I do notice, it's usually gotten to a point where it's a little costlier to exit the situation than I think it would be if I had noticed right away. It still happens even when I feel cynical or don't like/trust someone.

Any way to avoid this in the future? I guess I feel like I need a good reason to think "fuck this person." It's hard for me to react to it in the moment when it's not clear to me a)what they're doing and b)how to effectively shut it down or extricate myself.

Older article (2012), but still very relevant and valid.

> In my career as a psychologist, I have talked with hundreds of people previously diagnosed by other professionals with oppositional defiant disorder, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, anxiety disorder and other psychiatric illnesses, and I am struck by (1) how many of those diagnosed are essentially anti-authoritarians, and (2) how those professionals who have diagnosed them are not.

> Gaining acceptance into graduate school or medical school and achieving a PhD or MD and becoming a psychologist or psychiatrist means jumping through many hoops, all of which require much behavioral and attentional compliance to authorities, even to those authorities that one lacks respect for. The selection and socialization of mental health professionals tends to breed out many anti-authoritarians.

> Psychologist Russell Barkley, one of mainstream mental health’s leading authorities on ADHD, says that those afflicted with ADHD have deficits in what he calls “rule-governed behavior,” as they are less responsive to rules of established authorities and less sensitive to positive or negative consequences. ODD young people, according to mainstream mental health authorities, also have these so-called deficits in rule-governed behavior, and so it is extremely common for young people to have a “dual diagnosis” of AHDH and ODD.

> Do we really want to diagnose and medicate everyone with “deficits in rule-governed behavior”?

alt-text for thumbnail in case it embeds: it is an image of a queer flag with an infinity symbol, on a drawn wooden background with the words “autistic people mistaken for AI” on it

I’m a person who was pretty badly harmed by the psych system and all that entails and I think I would feel better if I could read some wiser peoples’ words about it lol. Surely there must be some good political theory or academic writings about this that people have heard of?

I want to avoid things like memoirs, clicky articles, wellness content, etc. Looking for something more direct and zoomed out and theoretical. I feel like that has to exist?

Edit: I wrote this thinking about how much Johanna Hedva’s Sick Woman Theory or some feminist writings I read in college unfucked my head with regard to those topics.

A really good video that gets into the whole ridiculousness of autistic/'aspie' supremacy and having a us vs them mentality around NTs vs NDs, and how doing so causes harm especially because then the assumption is that all NTs and all NDs are the same, which is factually incorrect.

alt-text: [text saying "aspergers is ableist" next to the autistic pride flag on top of a digital art 2d wooden background]

I don't like being referred to as a "person with autism". I can't just set it down, it's not something I can remove. It is fundamental to the way I interact with the world, right down to how stim enters my brain. If my brain has types of inputs no allistic person can even approach, and methods of processing inherently different, it is an existence no allistic person can reach. There is no version of me that is not autistic.

A "cure" is the same as shooting me and replacing me with someone else.

The type of person I am is autistic. I am autistic.

I know it is a big trend in anarchist spaces to use person first language, but in many situations that just sounds like eugenics to me. Personhood is not some distinct universal experience. There is no “ideal human mind” floating out there in the aether for them to recognize in me.

I get that person first language helps some people recognize that thoughts happen behind my eyes, but if the only way they can do that is by imagining I’m them, I don’t care.

Very useful video and a good reminder for those of us who are autistic, neurodivergent folks who aren't autistic and neurotypicals.

Hallo Leute! Ich habe meine ADHS diagnose bekommen, und darf mich jetzt wirklich als ADHSler bezeichnen.

Ich hätte Lust auf eine Austauschgruppe zu etlichen Dingen wie Medikamenten, Erfahrungen, Apps, Strategien etc.

Um etwas Datenschutz zu garantieren, würde ich sagen alle interessierten schreiben mir eine private Nachricht, mit einem lustigen Spruch und ihrem Wunsch für die Gruppe.

(Bot-Abwehr ist nervig...)

Warnings for: Examples of awfulness against folks with insecure attachment styles (mostly avoidant), video opens on a sarcastic/satire 'bit' but the creator isn't serious, the gender binary (by the examples the creator shows, not the creator himself), traumatic situations that may have happened when any viewers to this were a child, saying all insecure attachment styles are unhealthy (but in a nice way from a place of understanding imo).

...until it is someone with narcissistic personality disorder, psychopathy and sociopathy, but mostly NPD.

EDIT: There seems to be some misunderstandings about this post. It is not an attack on this community or the users here, it's just a general vent I have for the type of people that claim to be anti-ableist until it is something they don't like.

Hello. I was diagnosed with ADHD one year ago already (I was 35 back then), but since then I'm only with medical treatment, in other words, with medication. This medication can keep my ADHD symptoms under control, at a degree. But it does absolutely nothing against my executive dysfunction and my focus issues, and I don't have proper tools to handle my ADHD.

On a Discord server someone told me to look for therapists that do online sessions from third world countries for ADHD people, but I don't know where to look for them, and I don't know whether they're actual therapists or random scammers either. I live in Spain (pointing that out in case you try to push your US narrative), and a psychologists charges between 40 € and 60 € per session, being one session per week. And I can't afford spending 160 €/240 € per month when I don't even have a job.

Does anyone can give me some advice or recommendations, or webpages where I can look for someone?

Crosspost: https://kbin.social/m/adhd@lemmy.world/t/922915

So if you know what I am talking about, you know what I am talking about.

In adult-oriented American media in the old days, intellectually/developmentally/mentally disabled characters were often depicted to be wearing helmets, diapers, drooling, and having "that" tone of their voice, while speaking things that don't make sense. While this stereotype has mostly vanished, it is still kinda alive in the form of that "brainlet" wojak and Jeffy from the SuperMarioLogan videos.

I've been wondering this for a long time now. Where the hell does this stereotype come from?

Quick background: I live in a house with my sibling and their parents. My sibling is not legally or biologically related to me, but they ARE my sibling. My sibling's parents are not my parents, but we are collectively a 'family,' in many senses of the word. I call my sibling's parents "the Elders of Plumley" as Plumley is the name of our house, they are the oldest members of our household, and they are sources of great wisdom. I myself am in my late teens (no longer in high school.) My sibling is in their mid teens (still in high school.) All of us in the household are various hues of neurodivergent. (I have ADHD and my autistic friends are all convinced that I'm also autistic; my sibling is a fellow ADHDer and may or may not be autistic; Elders are ADHD and ??? (cluster of traits that are definitely something but remain undiagnosed) respectively.

Main thing: So, I have this communication issue with my younger sibling. (They're in their mid teens, I'm a few years older than them.) Sometimes I'll be trying to tell them something, or ask a question, and they won't respond; if I say their name a few times, they get frustrated with me (or, they make a noise that sounds frustrated, I'll admit that I don't know exactly what all their noises mean.) This isn't as much of a problem for me as it is for their parents. The elders of plumley have trouble communicating with them, and it has been known to cause arguments/distress. My sibling responds to them in ways that are harder to decipher, and they tend to make more irritated noises. (Or maybe they just get interpreted as irritation more often. I'm not sure.)

My sibling has previously described processing/registering that someone is talking to them, but not feeling the need to respond. I've asked about how we could maybe work out a means of more regularly communicating the fact that they're listening and similar, but they kinda just shrugged at me and made a confused noise. And to be honest, I feel quite similarly about the whole thing too! So, I turn to you lovely internet folks. Do you have any strategies for this kind of thing? Are there things I should be doing on my end to make communication easier? Are there alternate ways of saying "I'm listening" that aren't just saying the words?

Not enough people talk about the biggest privilege neurotypicals have in academia; the ability to network with their classmates easily so they can stay on top of all important details that are so easy to miss in lectures. #actuallyautistic @autismsupsoc @autisticbookclub @neurodivergence @neurodiverso

I (M, 46, ASD1) have been feeling very overstimulated today. Everything has me on edge and everything is too much (this isn't the first time I have felt this). I want to say I have a headache and call it a day, but that isn't it this is that different thing. I mean if I am honest it's going to cause me to have a headache but that isn't how it started. This is that supernova inside that feels like the edge of something. That feeling of "if you know what's good for you" but you just can't say it out loud.

I am late diagnosis and I really never got support or words for this. I was hoping someone here could help me. Is there something I can do? Is there a name for this? Is it appropriate to warn people about this? I am really irritable, is it healthy for me to be masking this as hard as I am and just screaming about it later when I can? I know how I have dealt with all of this all of these years and frankly it has lead to a lot of other mental health problems. So really any words of wisdom would be welcome.

I'm looking for a little advice because I'm feeling pretty lost. Without going too far into it, my manager at work is using things that she knows are part of my disability, autism, to give others a negative impression of my work performance and conduct, and causing me to be disciplined. I believe she's trying to have me fired or get me to quit. She's also been giving me an excessive workload, being rude, not giving me feedback or information, and outright lying about me. I've been with the company for almost a decade, she's been with it for less than two years, and I've never had any issues like this. I'd always disclosed my disability, which is how she knew about it, but never requested accommodations because no one gave me problems. My director and VP seem to be on her side and working with her to get rid of me.

After dealing with this for a few weeks and turning into a nervous, stressed out mess, I replied to an email she sent and outlined exactly how things she was saying was discrimination and a legal liability for the company. I asked to be reassigned to a different manager. I sent it to a bunch of higher ups on Friday evening, including the head of HR. I've also been going through the formal accommodation process and my doctor got them the paperwork on Thursday.

I'm now terrified to go into work on Monday. I'm scared I'm going to be dragged into a meeting room and intimidated into recanting my statements or told that what I've experienced isn't really discrimination. I'm worried they're going to say no to any accommodations, no matter how narrowly I've constructed them. I'm afraid they all hate me and want me gone or they're going to fire me. I don't want to go in at all.

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this and can give me advice for what to do beyond just documenting everything as I've already been doing. Has anyone dealt with this and come out on top? Had similar experiences? How do I not feel so afraid?

As an AuDHD person with Echolalalalalalalalalia 🙃, I find that my accent/idiolect has changed as I've aged and been exposed to different accents of all types in the U.S.. I just kinda pick up certain things I like.

For example I like:

• The British pronunciation/spelling of Aluminium and Banana
• The Irish pronunciation of three (my grandfather who was not at all born in Ireland also used it though)
• Upper Midwest sayings and phrases - Ope!, Oh ya sure!
• Extended "Wwweeeelp"s
• I bounce ALL around my register in speaking sometimes. I've sometimes been described as sing-songy.

But also dislike certain aspects of things and seek to avoid them at all costs....

• Cot/Caught, Pen/Pin - NO MERGERS! Ever. They must be different sounds.
• Glottal Stops in place of consonants are a no go - pronounce the whole thing dang it!

There's a whole lot more of course, but I need to finish this post so I can go be an unregulated mess after a long (and particularly annoying) day of work.

So what about y'all? I'm super curious to know!

I have a friend with ADHD who is struggling with burnout at work right now, and I realized the same thing has happened to me (autism) at pretty much every job I've had before my current one. After a while (a few months to a few years) the workplace politics becomes unbearable, or culture becomes too toxic, or managers straight up ignore our feedback.

So what do you do to prevent emotional burnout at work? Or have you found a job that doesn't burn you out?

Edit: Y'all, your responses are making me want to create a neurodivergent commune where we just do whatever we want.

This is a bit of a vent, I'm sorry in advance. I'm still a little bit triggered honestly. If this type of post doesn't fit for this community I apologize, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

Reddit has been pushing me away over the past year, mostly because of how antagonistic people are becoming.

The straw that broke the camels back for me was encountering a user with the "r" word in their username, being used in a derogatory way. I am autistic, and that triggers me based on my past experiences. It's a slur against autistic or ND people, and it violates the reddit content policy that states "Users that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned."

So it turns out on Reddit there is no way to report someone for using slurs in their username. I tried all the other avenues for reporting and nothing worked. I tried to contacting a handful of admins but was ignored over several weeks.

This was all very frustrating for me and I thought I would post about it on the autism subreddit, but I was met with rude responses that boiled down to "Get over it." or "Shut up." I posted on a few other autism related subs and was met with similarily harsh responses. Some of the subreddits actually deleted my post.

I honestly didn't expect that kind of response from other people on the spectrum, and its at this point I realize reddit is unhealthy, regardless of the subreddit.

I have deleted my account and wont look back. I am thankful that a place like beehaw exists, its a shame more spaces online don't try to cultivate a friendly userbase.

It just feels exhausting and hopeless lately and I'm afraid I'll just end up being lonely forever.

/vent over, thank you, carry on. Please don't absorb my upset into your own heart.

Canonical YouTube link

Canonical YouTube link

I've tried a lot of diets, and I have a lot of trouble committing and maintaining structure. I eat out every day. I don't exercise much. I'm having trouble with willpower fasting. Still I think the most "ADHD friendly" way of dieting is likely fasting. It requires little practical restructuring of ones life, just commitment and willpower. Do you all have anything better? Any advice?

Hey folks! I hope you all are safe and doing well.

First things first, I realize HSP (highly sensitive personality) is not in the neurodivergence spectrum, but I don't think there is a more suitable community for this. After a bit over a year of therapy, I have finally been identified as a person with hyper sensitive personality. In a sense, I'm relieved that I finally have a "label" for it and am now able to pick the correct tools from my toolbox to deal with some of my emotional issues.

In any case, I am writing here for those of you who identify yourselves or have otherwise been diagnosed as a HSP - what are your self-care routines/tools? For me it has always been essential to spend a few hours in the dark with no stimuli, listen to music that is usually a bit more complex technically, read poetry, experience art or other awe-inspiring scenes.

I would also like to know what your hobbies are. Do they take advantage of this trait of your personality?