What is the best way to respond to "You have an answer for everything", "You always have to be right", or "You always need to have the last word"?
What is the best way to respond to "You have an answer for everything", "You always have to be right", or "You always need to have the last word"?
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You gotta admit this post is a little ironic.
I'm aware of the irony 😅
I guess it stumps me a lot when people criticise my very communication itself, and I feel like it freezes any ability to respond in a constructive way. "You have an answer for everything" makes it seem like any answer I could give to that would just be met the same way, so it's like I need to think outside the box in order to even know how to respond to that, or if a response is appropriate at all.
Well I think it can definitely be a reflexive response by someone who just doesn't like being contradicted, but it could also be a feeling of "you aren't trying to understand what I'm saying, you're just trying to think of a way to counter it". So it could be worth taking a moment to back up and taking a deeper look at what the person is trying to say.
I have a really annoying way of understanding things. I piece shit together bit by bit and guess at the answer before I'm told. It comes off very interrogative. Even when I'm wrong my attempts to understand seem like I'm being antagonistic. I try to explain to some people how I'm trying to fix the underlying assumptions that led me wrong.
Some people won't respond well and it's really difficult for me to accept that there isn't a way to mediate both of us being happy.
My mother is like that (and her mother was), at least from what you describe.
The result is, she constant interrupts my speech with guesses what I'm about to say. It's incredibly aggravating especially because I have a speech impediment exactly because of their constant interruptions when I was a kid. And somewhat funnily, she always guesses wrong. Never right. Every time.
And the interrogative tone is there too, tho that's harder to describe.
So I can't talk to people like that, and may get hostile very quickly if I see such behaviour. Tho I've not met many people that do it.
If your brain works that way, at least try to not talk like that. I used to have similar patterns just due to having them learned, and had to unlearn.
/edit cause I'm cold and my brain doesn't work either and this stupid keyboard keeps bugging out, fuck this
I know when I'm doing it and make sure other conversants are fine with it. I've tried to show more curious and inquisitive looks and verbally explain myself. If it annoys someone I know to calm myself. I've had a lot of years to learn and my best friends tend to work the same way.
Very accurate indeed.
I'm the exact same way! I've come to assume it's from being on the spectrum, but that’s me guessing at answers again lol
Same. I've had a coworker that was learning about autism to understand her nephew guess it as well.
Ask yourself why you feel the need to get the last word, or be right? Ask yourself how important a topic is and gauge your audience, do they really need to hear about what your going to say for the next few minutes? Many times something that is said was never said with the forethought that a response would even happen.
Often times people are having emotional conversations, not factual conversations, it can be hard to tell the difference.
You learn the most when your mouth is not moving.