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Which consumer grade printer should I buy?

Title, basically. My old torture device needs to be replaced, and while it's been mostly working OK, printers have no excuse for being as shitty as they are. So therefore I am looking for suggestions.

Specs:

  • Must include a flatbed scanner
  • prints in color
  • Wifi connection preferred
  • No PaaS or IaaS bullshit
  • No driver weirdness. I'm going to use it on linux.
  • Available "anywhere".
  • Ability to sit powered and connected in my HarryPotteresque "server room" under the stairs for ages, unattended, and work without hazzle when I send it the bimonthly print job.

I know the geek community likes Brother. Any particular model?

For reference, this new printer will replace my aging Canon Pixma 4250.

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