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Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked
How'd you know he was a priest if he was naked?
He was praying when it happened. "Oh my god"
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it's way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it's a true accident, it's very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass
Million-to-one shot, doc!
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