The "energy-full-design" capacity of the battery should be 70Wh, but here it is, at 0Wh. None of the statistics above (except date and time) have updated, and it's been two days already. How do I calibrate this battery?
This doesn't sound like a calibration issue, but a driver issue sadly. It's possible your new battery uses a different gas gauge IC that isn't supported (yet).
I had a similar issue and had to reboot without a battery first, so the previous one was "forgotten". It seems like the battery control is a completely separate circuit which in some cases needs to be be reset (if you have such options) or depleted so new batteries are recognized. Maybe search for such instructions for your specific laptop brand and model. HTH
The laptop? Yes, I've done this already. I've also removed the battery and the CMOS, held the power button to discharge the laptop, booted it without the battery, and then installed it again.
The laptop talks to the battery and the software you’re using tries to talk to the laptop to see what the battery says. What’s your laptop make and model, battery make and model and did you check the bios for battery configuration?
Okay, clear the old upower data stored in your computers /var/lib/upower/ directory with rm /var/lib/upower/* then restart the upower service or just restart your computer.
It reads that data direct from the batteries BMS hardware, I don't think battery calibration has been a thing since NiCD/NiMH days in the 90s and stuff.
I'm not even sure what kind of behavior is this from a battery - it blinks even when I put in the charger, however it has stopped blinking since the time I've put in the charger for almost more than a day. But the value is still at zero - and ironically, it does not shut down immediately - maybe after two-five hours? Is the PCB a goner?