What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?
What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?
I've actually skipped work just to help a homeless guy get his beard trimmed. Bought him pizza too. Kinda hard to get anywhere in life when you look like shit.
Be kind to the homeless, they just need a helping hand here and there.
What would you do?
Hell no.
Are you u all living in rosy mc Rosewood Santa's little safe harbour everything is fine and dandy rainbow world? Or are you all lying through your teeth?
Letting someone in your home with clearly visible psychological issues, in your circle of trust, filled with those you hold most dearly and packed with your dearest memories, that place... And then letting someone in you know nothing about?
Hell fucking no.
In the real world letting some rando homeless dude in your home has a 50/50 chance of ending up in crazy town. There is a high probability that you, yours or your stuff get fucked up. I cannot and will not accept those odds. Even a 2% chance of shit happening is a risk I'm unwilling to take when it comes to my kids.
Would I help him? Maybe. It depends on some factors (like can I at that specific time, did I help him out earlier, do I have cash on hand) Would I let him in? No f-ing way.
So real answer: money: maybe, eat & drink: anytime. Clothes: I've got some you can have, no problem. Bath and clean: nope. Never.
I wouldn't let him in, because my partner has very strong feelings about anyone in the house, but if he doesn't mind waiting outside he's getting a lot more than a sandwich and water. A full meal is a very rare thing on the street and some bread and Ham isn't a meal. I always have left overs or prepped meals ready and he's eating until he's full. Water is the same, as much as he can stomach.
I'm no barber, but I can trim my own beard so I'm sure I can manage his. If the stars align, I have a real stylist down the street and I'd happy to ask if she has time for a clean and cut.
Most importantly, I've got contact info for shelters and food banks. When if I can't do anything else I can help find someone who can.
The food and water part, no problem. Strangers in my apartment is a hard no! Sorry.
Fix him a sandwich, get him some water, and tell him I don't let strangers in my house.
I've done just that, twice in the twenty odd years I've owned it. Before that, my dad owned it and had different rules about who had access to resources, so I would have followed his, if it had arisen.
But! I would offer to bring my spare trimmer and hook him up on the porch, or a shave if he wanted. That used to be part of my job, and I miss the hell out of personal care. I'd also offer to let him use a mirror instead though.
I'm hard core about no strangers in the house, period, ever. Don't care why they want in, don't care who they are, if I haven't said it's okay, nobody comes in. Hell, there's people we know that aren't allowed in. I've got one cousin in particular that will get his ass beat again if he shows up. But someone we don't know, that I haven't vetted? Hellll no.
Shit, I'd rent a motel room for a homeless person before I'd let the cleanest, best dressed stranger in my house, and I'm on a fixed income.
But, I'm actually known to be a soft touch for food and beverage. It's a thing. If I know you well enough to let you in, you will never go hungry at my house. If I don't know you well enough to invite you in, I still won't let you go hungry or thirsty, but I'll ask you to move along with the supplies. I'd have to have my family be starving before I'd refuse basic food and water to someone.
I would offer to buy them a meal and pay for a low-cost motel room. I'd even be willing to buy them some toiletries to get cleaned up. I would not invite them into my home under any conditions.
I'd give him a snack if he was desperate enough to come to my door. Wouldn't let him inside but might come out to chat with him. Just to be sure they are well enough to carry on. Like, I didn't have to call for medical assistance or something.
It's easy to say no when you've never been in that situation. I mean I've never been so out of it I'd beg a stranger to groom me but I have been completely on my own with nothing and no one.
Any homeless person with good intent would know that cold knocking someone and asking to come inside is a bridge too far. So if they were trying that shit they would most likely be competely toasted or having a serious mental episode. Even more likely they are trying to steal your shit.
I have had a homeless man come up to the door in an icestorm with no shirt on. The guy was soaked in alcohol and I did not feel safe. I did throw him a sweater, coat, and gloves because he could freeze but I was fucking terrified.
I don't even like opening the door to people I know.
IMHO: Always help out the working-class people if you can; the homeless and'middle class' are the working-class.
You don't have to let them in your home or do too much, but I would offer them a box with food, plenty of water, and a basic care package.
We all need to make time to join in helping our local communities. 1 hour a year is much more helpful than 0 hours a year.
Mantra:
“We should focus our actions, time, and resources on Direct Action, Mutual Aid, and Community Outreach… No War but Class War!”
"absolutely fucking not, and never come here again"
Sorry, but I'll help people when I want to, on my own terms. Before you pile on, I literally just housed somebody for over a month, in the shitty one bedroom flat I rent. As in, they stayed on the sofa and only left on Tuesday. I also provided 90% of their food and gave them money to cover an outgoing debt payment.
It was a fucking huge inconvenience, actually. A helping hand is fine, but some people will happily take your whole arm.
If I had time, I'd maybe tell the dude to wait outside, then get my loafers, walk with him to the shop and buy a meal. Strangers in my house? No thank you. Good way to get robbed in my neighborhood.
There are free showers and halfway houses around here, so getting shower wouldn't be a reason to knock on the door, I think.
Optimally, we should be housing everybody as its been proven time and time again how much cheaper it is than leaving people homeless. It's what I vote for every time, but somehow people are just too selfish.
Several years ago, my mom started making care for folks out on the street. Some water, a bag of chips, a piece of candy. Little things like that. I started doing the same thing. It's good to help those down on their luck in small ways. Even to to look at them and say "no, I'm sorry" when they ask for money, rather than to just ignore them. You are acknowledging them as a person. If we wish to make a better society, actions speak louder than words.
I also prefer the term 'de-housed' to 'homeless'. I feel the latter places blame on them rather than the former which places blame on the society which has failed them.
I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I'd give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.
If I have a shed or garage I'd allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I'm unable handle.
I've also got a decent amount of privilege to share.
Be kind, be safe
I have a lot of unhoused neighbors so I regularly leave out fresh socks, a pair of gloves here and there, basic toiletries, and food for their pets. If one came to my door I'd be happy to try giving a haircut, but no refunds.
My brother was homeless from addiction.
I'd give food and water; if they wanted to wash up I have a hose and would bring them soap and shampoo. Unfortunately, I've been burned with shit disappearing from when my brother was addicted, so I probably wouldn't let them in the house.
Honestly it's a bad idea. Might be fine, might not be. Not worth the risk. Some unhoused folks are addicts or mentally ill. People tend to return to places that become familiar. The might come back again. Maybe to rob you.
I'm speaking from experience. I gave a guy a place to live to try to get back on his feet, in exchange for some work. Realized he's a severe addict and couldn't get rid of him. Then I look like the asshole for putting him back on the street.
as someone who was homeless I'd let them in to take a shower and trim themselves up. If they're an addict or mentally ill then no, i'd direct them somewehre else. I've had way too many bad interactions with both, especially addicts. If it was a homeless person who was sober and mentally sound? yeah i'd provide help because I know that programs and resources don't exist for them they're tailored for the addicts and mentally ill. Hell i'd even offer my couch. But addicts know the system and they're only going to your door to rip you off. and the mentally ill don't even know they're homeless so they wouldn't be knocking and asking for help anyways.
Homeless or rich it doesn't matter I just don't trust people anymore. With that said though I will happily help guide them to resources and donate to shelters fairly often. I have some bad history with strangers so even though I've tried working through it there doesn't seem to be much change.
You doing what you did is awesome and I bet really helped that guy with more than just a shave.
Given how I don't let anybody homeless or otherwise in my house if I don't know them, I'll probably give them food and water
This has happened on a few occasions, I’ve always fed and bathed the person, on a few occasions,I’ve let the person stay with me for a little while, and once I dated a guy for a little while.
This has ended with mostly positive results. And these people didn’t really come knock on my door (we usually met out-and-about).
There are some cultural differences here that affects the equation. If homelessness is taken care of that doesn't mean there are no people on the streets. There will however be a a certain "enrichment" in what type of people are there.
Our constitution demands that everyone must have a life worth human dignity. If somebody looses everything, gouvernment provides housing and funds for minimum standards of living.
So for that reason, only ones that are on the streets are the ones who can't/won't take care of themselves, even if these things are given to then, but are not so far gone they could be institutionalized. Everyone is still free to get hammered and be on the streets.
Very often these people have long history on substance abuse and have degraded to a level of a child. Police often picks them up, so they can be washed, because they often soil themselves. They are not dangerous, because then they would be institutionalized, but they are very smelly and often vocally abusive.
Would I open my door to these people? No.
I would give then food and water if needed, but these are not things they ask for.
All of those things can be done outside of my house, so I don't really see any reason why not to. Beard trim, blam, here's a razor, sandwich, here's that shit, here's a bottle of water, the hose is over there, here's some soap, blam. Even if I'm cooking up the most diabolical and insane homeless person of all time, I can still fulfill all of those requests while also keeping them outside, doing very little, and maybe telling them to also fuck off after if I'm a psycho.
The rest of this is gonna mostly be venting, so you can safely ignore it if you don't care.
People in america are totally cooked on homelessness, even though they're, on average, metaphorically inches away from it at any given time. Homeless shelters in america mostly are horrible places to go where your shit will be stolen and they will do nothing. They're bad for children, they're full of drugs, and very frequently they have curfews, rules against having animals or pets, rules requiring that you go to religious ceremonies, etc. Homeless people aren't just like, insane illogical transients. I mean they kind of are, but there's also a reason for why they do the things that they do, that includes maybe knocking on the door of a random suburb.
I would actually find it more likely in this situation that this random person would probably want to use my toilet since there are no fucking public toilets in america, especially as private businesses will deny use of their restrooms to people who look homeless. Then people get arrested for public defecation, urination, or nudity because there's nowhere else to go, obviously there's also mental health, and then all you see is how some guy on the street on fent gets arrested with his pants around his ankles and his asscheeks covered in shit and you think "wow that guy's crazy" and have no further thoughts. Context is eradicated.
Give someone in america the slightest advantage over the homeless, a shitty suburban flat, with a lower rent, that they spend two thirds or more of their income on, including roommates, and they will still somehow find a way to spit on the homeless after riding the bus into town every day cause they can't afford a car. They will still live their lives in fear and they will still come to hate the homeless because somehow the person basically making negative income is not able to afford soap or a high-fiber diet.
It's the "Oh, well, it's not my problem, that sucks for them, but I'm still allowed to be offended by it." sort of mentality. You can give them every reason under the sun why hating the homeless doesn't make any sense, why hating the homeless is immoral, why they don't deserve it, how they are products of their environment. Still people will desperately cling to it. It makes me understand how racism occurs, I suppose, because it's the same phenomena. "Ah, well, I understand all of the stats about racism, but this particular member of this particular racial minority, I still hate them personally for acting in line with the statistical average of their group.". Insanity. It's as though it's all just abstract thought goop that has no bearing on anyone's life, or that somehow I should be the exception to it.
I think it's gotta be a functional adaptation, or something. Maybe they can prevent themselves from going insane and becoming nihilists if they just suddenly become individualists and objectivists as soon as it becomes convenient, or something. It is not that hard to conceive of a reality in which the person cutting you off in traffic is rushing to the hospital, or, a reality in which they, maybe naively but understandably want to enjoy their expensive car while they still can, or, maybe a reality in which they're just panicking because they're late to work or something.
I am an introvert, I am awkward, I hate hanging around people and talking to people. Even I can talk to the homeless when they need someone to talk to, and reluctantly give them money, and rides to places when they ask, since it would otherwise be like two hours and twelve dollars of travel, bus stops, a transfer station, travel, more bus stops, before they get across town to do a fairly basic errand. The social fabric is falling apart. Please be nice, it is not that hard, it costs very little, it happens infrequently, and very possibly if some of you extroverted assholes picked up some slack instead of making things harder for the most maligned, I could go back to my cave.
Had something similar in 2020 happen. Things happened and it ended with him and my mom getting into a heated argument as to why he can't get help from police or some other resources (which I can't remember). Ended with my mom pretty much telling the guy not to return.
He played the part of a nice person, but in the end he was trouble. So I think my answer to this would probably be not to trust them.
We bring food sometimes to the local homeless guy but he doesn't seem to want anything else.
This answer for me would really depend on a lot of factors. I don't want a homeless roommate who won't leave and can't work, don't want a mentally unstable person in the house with my daughters. So random guy probably not. I'd bring him food and a gallon of iced water and say I could not let him in. If it was the guy we know from under the bridge, and husband home, probably would let him shower and give him some of husband's clothes to wear, sure.
But we HAVE had homeless people stay with us for a time if we knew them, quite a few times. Wandering guys who just didn't live anywhere. Couch surfing people.
I'm not a hairdresser and wouldn't have confidence trimming a guy's beard. Other than that, I'd let him in, get to know him a little, maybe give him a salad with water, and yeah the shower would be on the house, you think I'd charge for a scent cleanse using Earth's most abundant resource? I just hope he brought clothes, unless he doesn't mind wearing women's clothes.
TBH I wouldn't open the door for safety reasons. Now if they had approached me on the street and there were shops nearby, yes I would help.
I am skeptical on letting my friends in my house. I am not going let a random person with high odds of having some sort of physical/mental issue in my house no thank you.
Will I help? Absolutely. Just in anywhere that isn't my house.
You seem to have "but what if" responses for every answer.
My answer is no because I don't trust them. Same reason I keep my little dog away from all pit bulls, I don't trust them. Same reason I accept some women want to keep distance with all men, lack of trust.
There's water in the bubbler at my local park.
No. You stay out.
I'd give him food/water, cash, call him a ride, or whatever else he needed but he's not coming inside. Too much risk. Even just giving stuff I'd worry he'll come back.
Get in my car with him to bring him to get those things.
I suck at keeping a home ready for such an encounter.
First I'd wonder how they got through my security gate. I would not let them in. I'm a 5'3" middle-aged woman and I know my limitations, I'm not as young and strong as I used to be. I would talk to them through the door and not open it. If they said they wanted food and water, I might give them something but I would tell them to back up far away from the door before I put anything out there for them. Once they took it, I would ask them to leave.
A beard trim... yeah, I'm too unexperienced to help him with that, but I'll give him a shaver and a cream...
Bath... I'd just hope there's a public shower nearby, and lend him merely some small bottles of soap and shampoo...
A sandwich and water... let's see what food I have...
I'm not opening my door tho, to him
I usually buy a meal for a homeless drug addict who sometimes it's asking for some coins in a near mall, I don't like to give him money straight cos I know he will buy drugs with it, I prefer to buy him something to eat.
Where I am there is not so much homeless people there is just poor people who asks for coins so no beard issue but I definitely like to give them something to eat instead of money for drugs.
I’d give it to him.
Give him food and water. I guess I can try trim his beard with scissors if he wants. And I would try to facilitate the bath. I know people don't want to let random homeless people into their houses because they're worried about theft, but it is so hard to get a shower or bath if you're street homeless, and besides, if he steals something from me, clearly he needs it a lot more than me. I don't have anything too valuable in my bathroom anyway so if he wants to nick some toothpaste let him.
I would never answer the door for someone I didn’t expect so I wouldn’t know why they were at my door anyway.
I'd provide a sandwich and a bottle of water
I don't hold any answers but if you're reading this comment, I want to know how you take into consideration that if they are asking for money, that money can easily be used for drugs/opioids/other stuff which will hurt them.
i.e., Do you give them money or do you give them food, a bottle of water or stuff like that?
We live in Canada in a very rural area. We've opened our door to strangers. Gave people a place to sleep and a hot meal, even let them live with us for a time to get their feet under themselves. I'd hope someone would do the same for my family if they needed it.
Side note: one of these folks is actually here today having supper with us and hanging with the kiddos. She's got a job and a house now and going back to school in September. Two years ago we let her set her tent up here and use the washroom for a few weeks.
Can't hear knocking on the door from the living room and my doorbell is disabled most of the time. So unless people notfify me of their visit there is a good chance I just won't open the door at all.
Also there is a big construction site in front of my house right now, so I'm wearing noise canceling headphone most of the time. And with those I hardly even hear the doorbell when it's on.
Nice try, you filthy Hobo!