Some people say thats it really unfair to say "JD Vance is a couch fucker". JD Vance never wrote in a book, "hey everyone, my name is JD Vance and I love to fuck couches", that's an unfair accusation based on no evidence.
For all we know its entirely possible that JD Vance took his time and made love to that couch. We gotta stick to the facts and be honest here people!
Maybe it was a love seat.
I don't feel bad for made up stories about conservatives who spread fake news and call Kamala Harris the N word.
Yeah, he didn't fuck that couch. He cucked the couch by denying it the satisfaction of direct JD contact, deciding to instead fuck the latex glove he'd wedged inside of the couch instead. Regardless, his sweaty balls definitely slapped those cushions. Over. And over again.
Damn it! You got your facts mixed into my memes!
Do not cross the streams
It's crazy how this took off because of one joke tweet. It's the Richard Gere gerbil thing for a whole new generation.
On the other hand AP News pulled down their "No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch" article saying the same thing. I kind of just thought it was people joking, but now I don't know because of that. Usually news orgs just alter a headline and the like rather than fully pull down an article
Though might just be because it lead to more spread of it?
Now dead article link: https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-jd-vance-sex-couch-038130326229
Archived version: https://web.archive.org/web/20240724234824/https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-jd-vance-sex-couch-038130326229
EDIT: Did some more digging now that there's been a bit more coverage on the article. AP says they took it down because it didn't go through standard editing process. Presumably taken down because they can't definitively prove he did not just that he didn't write about it
Sextional.
Sexy sensational sextional.
I don't get it
Did he say something about couches?
lol don't let rick james come over
also, genuine question, does he actually wear eyeliner? i mean, more power to him...
JD Vance has never comitted couch cushion coitus.
"Probably never"
It's nice to hear him deny it, though.
I read it as "couch cousin coitus"
NSFW tag!
"Not Suitable For Washington"?
"No Sectional Furniture Wanking"
LMAO
“What separates the successful from the unsuccessful are the expectations that they had for their own lives. Yet the message of the right is increasingly: It’s not your fault that you’re a loser; it’s the fact that you fornicate with a couch.” ― J.D. Vance, Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis
Hey, stop making fun of him because he forgot his mascara!
