What's a life lesson you learned the hard way that you'd want to share with others to help them avoid the same mistake?
What's a life lesson you learned the hard way that you'd want to share with others to help them avoid the same mistake?
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Do NOT invite anyone into your home that you do not know. And do NOT save someone from eviction and have them live with you if you only barely know them.
I just went through six months of hell with two freeloading pieces of shit who never cleaned up after themselves and almost never lifted a finger to help in the house — all while getting free room and board, free food, etc.
My kid happened to be friends with a kid whose 64 year old mother (kid was adopted) got evicted and we knew them in passing for a good decade. We were the ONLY ones to help, despite them being a part of a church with hundreds of people.
I now know exactly why no one helped them, and know exactly why they were evicted.
Just don’t do it. It’s not worth the stress and the money.
Holy shit, are you me? We're going through the same thing. A not close friend of mine got evicted so his landlord could renovate his apartment and he has been living with us for six months now, for free. He stays in his room and plays video games all day, every day. He has no job. He subsists on dry cereal unless we feed him. He barely interacts with us. He doesn't do anything to help with chores, instead agreeing to assist and then just "forgetting". He sleeps from 6 am to 2 pm and is up all fucking night. We only know if he's awake because we can hear him playing games.
We told him two months ago that he needs to leave by now but he still has no job and no prospects. My wife, him, and I are in our fifties. We have a 55 year old child.
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Wow that sucks. I feel for him and you too. Being that age and not having your life figured out seems daunting.
That sounds so familiar except this was a 64 year old woman and her 16 year old adopted daughter. The mother stayed in the room we provided, with a king sized bed, an Amazon echo, a Roku flat panel 55” TV and only left to eat ramen (that was her “cereal”), poop, and take her daughter wherever she needed to go.
People are selfish assholes. Period. And I will never again waste my money or time or stress or effort or anything on anyone that I don’t know extremely well.
I’m sorry you are also going through this. If you notified by official letter to get out of your house by a specific date, according to your laws, (and have him sign it), then you are within your rights (at least in the US in every state), typically, to have the county sheriff remove them.
My state requires 60 days notice, so on July 1, we gave these freeloaders official notice to vacate by 5pm on Aug 30. They finally left yesterday. They didn’t clean anything. They didn’t even sit down and show any appreciation. And they have the gall to ask for a things they left behind after rushing to pack and leave yesterday.
I basically told the mom to go fuck herself in many words. They wasted $5000 of our money over this time, and even their religion they hold so dear didn’t force them to be good people and do the right things.
(Shouting this to everyone who would listen…) NEVER take anyone in. Unless it’s family you trust or a really, really good friend that you’ve known for a long time.
We're not in the US and, where we live, to file for eviction we must take this to court for a judge to validate the reason for eviction. Typical eviction times range between 3-9 months. We're going to try being such terrible flatmates that he decides to leave. No more free food or access to our toiletries. We'll be blasting our music all day. I'm growing several konjac plants which produce flowers that smell like rotting meat.
If this doesn't work, then we'll take the legal route.
if you start now, it will be over quick. best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and all that. start the paperwork, move forward.
That's a really good point and I can't disagree. Worst case, our annoyance tactics fail and we have the court proceedings already in motion. You're totally right.
Could also try bribing them. My brother owned a condo for a bit, until he got frustrated with bad tenants. When he needed one to leave, he found bribing them the best answer, even with very little tenant protection where he lives. If you start eviction proceedings, now you have a pissed off tenant in your property who can do any amount of damage that will be expensive to repair. Instead, he’d say “I’ll give you $200 to be out next weekend” and it worked pretty well while being cheaper than legal proceedings
That's also a great idea. We could offer him the likely cost of legal proceedings. Ugh. Never again.
Ouch, I’m sorry it’s that difficult. Yet another reason to never take in anyone, if living in a country that has such laws that make it that difficult to remove freeloaders and squatters.
I don’t want to be that kind of a-hole. I had the best of intentions at the start of this. But there comes a moment when after being screwed so much, it’s time to put an end to it.
Good luck to you!!
Thanks! It's annoying now but we'll laugh about it someday. I'm glad your squatters are gone, it gives me hope.
I’ll toast a drink to us both!
Seconded.
I had a mate who didn't speak with his parents, lost his job and left his partner.
Took him in, rent free for 6 months. Got him on his feet, he got a new job and 6 months later he left... With my 10 year relationship. And my cat (but to be fair my ex was a vet so it made sense that she took him)
I thought he was a friend.
How nice of him, he took the trash out as he left.
Leo? Is that you?
Because this sounds very close but also very far from reality, as per usual with you. If it is you, your wife left you not because I'm somehow Don Juan yet a loser, she left you because you're a bipolar narcissistic asshole with psychopathic tendencies (we've looked up the symptoms, it matches) and you've made her life hell for 20 years. Wives cannot be stolen, that's not how anything works.
Just about everything you wrote about her or I is a lie, and your pathological need to be loved while being an asshole would be sad, if it wasn't for the fact that you're such an asshole who tries to control literally everyone around him with money.
You keep claiming you're the best husband, best father, best boss, and that everyone loves you so much because you're the best but reality is that people don't love you, they hate and or fear you, and only are around you for your money.
What the fuck
Nope, not me.
Mine was a 10 year relationship and she wasn't my wife..
Sounds like you have someone who is (or was) in your life who shouldn't be.
I also work disability support - I have no money to throw around ;)
Wow.
I had a similar experience, took a friend in for about a year after he lost his job. He just spiraled deeper into depression, I burned a ton of social capital trying to get him out of the house to make friends. He spray painted things on my patio without putting down a drop cloth, broke things inside the house, constantly complained about how crappy or small my house was, while never paying a penny towards it. He was just constantly grumpy and rude, and was completely shocked when I asked him to move out. He kept saying how it was good for him to live with me and just couldn't conceive that it was awful for me.
Classic selfish narcissism. It feels a tad better knowing I’m not the only one to have dealt with people like that, but it pains me that you and others, who have been as selfless and giving, are treated just as poorly as my family and house was.