It’s good for mental health to preserve the idea that deciding not to respond to a comment does not necessarily represent losing the argument. Especially important if the comments you’re responding to are nonsensical.
Just ask: Would a reasonable person I respect be swayed by the argument I’m eager to reply to? If not, just leave.
So many comments that are backspaced into oblivion after thinking "do I care enough to subject my ideas to the public sphere?" " Will my voice be heard or make any difference?"
If the answer to both is no, which it usually is... I just let it go and move on with my day.
Yup. I will "respond" to so many things, but I tend to not post the response. Just typing out my thoughts is usually enough, and when thinking more critically of what the motivation of my response is, it usually tends to boil down to "I want this other person to think I'm correct". But that's exactly why they responded first, and then it turns into an argument. No one is trying to learn, we're trying to win.
The number of times I've typed up a comment, then just deleted the whole damn thing is quite high. Often, it's just not worth it, even if someone is wildly misinterpreting what you're saying.
That's fine if you're trying to get into an argument. If you're just answering someone's question or sharing a story or whatever, it's frustrating as hell when your post fails over and over. I'm getting sick of being told to check my language settings in my profile, even though no such setting exists and it had nothing to do with why my submission failed. Maybe that's just a wefwef thing.
They probably would have just called you names instead of openly engaging with your ideas. That's the norm in my experience. I sometimes wonder why I bother posting at all.
Then again, I do get some traction, and some representation of ideas outside the common narratives is better than none. But it does seem like if you aren't in lockstep with the popular narratives, you get a cascade of downvotes just for entertaining unpopular ideas.
People don't want you to think for yourself. They just want you to parrot their beliefs back to them and give them affirmation.