Real Alpha Men™ drink their Vanilla Ice cream shake from a metal bucket while shirtless and listening to death metal
Real Alpha Men™ drink their Vanilla Ice cream shake from a metal bucket while shirtless and listening to death metal
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"Drinking a milkshake with a straw? Only a squishy lib would do such a thing."
More about Strawgate: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/09/05/tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-jesse-watters-straw-fox-news/75089097007/
Hey, leave Death Metal alone. The tough guys are in the Deathcore scene dancing in their hardcore pits.
3 0 ReplyWhat, he hasn't ever worn a tan suit?
If this is the best they can dig up against him, he must be a pretty awesome guy!
2 0 ReplyWell, shit, my water bottle for the gym has lid with straw attached to it.
4 0 ReplyCheck your genitalia because conservatives have labeled you.
3 0 ReplyI've definitely seen some of the bigger dudes with the same type of bottle. Who wants to tell them?
1 0 Reply
I had the read the article before it was clear this was satire because the line between that and reality doesn’t seem to exist anymore.
67 0 ReplyThe little addition below the title made it clear it was satire. But unfortunately the title could have gone either way.
5 0 ReplyI'm a alpha omega man level 2 super Saiyan get to my level.
4 0 Reply
Thank you, I came to the comments just to have that cleared up.. Jfc
10 0 Reply
I get my role model queues from Fox news. My medical advice? From a game of operation.
5 0 Replywhere do you get your fashion advice
3 0 ReplyRudy Giuliani
5 0 Reply7-11
1 0 Reply
Alpha males don't drink a milkshake with a straw, they give it their whole mouth, open up their throat and don't forget to work the balls.
49 0 ReplyReal men boof their milkshakes
14 0 ReplyAnd then cry about it while retelling the story to Kamala Harris at a Senate confirmation hearing…
Yeah, you forgot, but Kamala Harris made Brett Kavanaugh cry about drinking beer in his ass, lol
edit: the goodness
31 0 Reply
This also the way they drink bubble tea, poke an opening, then work the hole with their tongue to get the pearls out.
2 0 Reply
Would you say they're grasping at straws now?
43 0 ReplyTwo straws in fact. At about face level in what one might call a jerking motion....
13 0 Reply6 0 ReplyI could take all this wokeness up to here, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back
13 0 ReplyThe whole thing is a straw man supported by the spoon lobby
7 0 Reply
Weird, right?
4 0 Reply
Milk comes from female animals. Real men drink bull semen shakes.
23 0 Reply3 0 Reply
Don't bring death metal into this. Those bros are more likely listening to pop country
24 0 ReplyThey probably also think that Five Finger Death Punch is death metal.
10 0 ReplyNo, it's accurate. They role play being hardcore when they're at the gym. It's when they get back in their truck their fantasy self image role play turns to good ol boy when the pop country comes on. Or sometimes 90's country because, in their mind, all country after that is part of that change they hate so much.
Then when they get home, they role play being a big leader man all in charge as they boss around their little children and make them say "yes sir"
4 0 ReplyNot death metal, but... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddrFt1BHkUQ
2 0 Reply
Dumping a bucket of ice cream on my face with some loud music playing sounds fun tbh
9 0 ReplyWhen did USA Today become so based?
1 0 ReplyThey've got nothing on this guy!! They're literally grasping at straws
12 0 ReplyI'm guessing this is satire judging by the line "If the massive sugar rush causes your pancreas to explode, all the better. Real men enjoy exploding organs."
9 0 ReplyThe article is satire about Jesse Waters' real criticism of Walz using a straw
11 0 Reply
And don't forget to fire your AR-15 in the air while doing it.
8 0 ReplyReal men drink poison!
3 0 Reply