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Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

SLVRDRGN @lemmy.world

4mo ago

A sorcerer appears and states that they will erase any one song from existence - which song would you choose?

This ability of the sorcerer will wipe any one song of your choosing from the pages of history, as if it never existed! Gone from our reality. They were going to do it anyway, but they're making you choose.

Which song would you pick?

(If you really can't narrow it down to one, then try narrowing to three)

_{picture credit goes to zenart07 , DeviantArt}

Wizards @lemmy.world

RootBeerGuy @discuss.tchncs.de

4mo ago

A sorcerer appears and states that they will erase any one song from existence - which song would you choose?

24 14

289 comments

No one's gonna say that marraiah carrey christmas song? Ok i'll say it, tha marraiah carrey Christmas song.
- Everyone in retail will worship you.
  
  Then you'll get all the remixes of Feliz Navidad instead.
  
  Nah, there are a lot of retail songs waaayyyy more annoying than that one that would just take its place. At least that one has some talent involved lmao.
- Last Christmas is a close contender tho
- obligatory link to the Zalinki video
  (Invidious link)
- i listen to that all year
- I will never forgive the Apple rep who came into our retail store and loaded up the store Homepod with A PLAYLIST OF SIXTY THREE DIFFERENT FUCKING RENDITIONS OF THAT CUNTING SONG and then locked it out so we couldn't change it back to normal human music. Said it was his favourite song.
  I made a complaint and never saw him again. I've never seen an entire store's staff hate life more.
- But then you'd ruin Christmas for the cyber goths.. https://youtu.be/eJc6-DgaQa0?si=M1w4RWEBfHW1_l3v
- This is the way.

The "oh no oh no" high pitched "song" from TikTok that plays from my mom's phone when I'm about to sleep
- Ask her to use headphones?
  
  We don't own any

1-877-CARS-4KIDS
K.A.R.S CARS FOR KIDS
1-877-CARS 4 KIDS
DONATE YOUR CAR TODAY
runs screaming off a cliff, smiling through tears
- K a r s cars for kids?
  
  They're kids, not English professors
- Now accepting donations of land, buildings, and other forms of real estate!
  Can I please donate the real estate this occupies in my brain.
- 1000%
- You know all you’re donating to is to keep funding kids sitting in yeshivas so they can get indoctrinated to become Hasidic leeches off society. That’s where it actually goes.

Baby Shark. The entire time that ducking song was making it's rounds through society, I managed to avoid it. I knew it was repetitive and awful, and through good fortune and luck, it missed me completely.
Then I watched the new season of Umbrella Academy. Those motherfuckers.
- The story of Baby Shark is kind of interesting. It used to be a camp song in the 90s. It didn't become ridiculously popular until the infamous YouTube video that everyone knows. Various people and institutions have tried to sue for ownership, but it was ruled public domain. Anyone can release their own version of Baby Shark if they want.
- *motherduckers

The US national anthem. People will stand around before sporting events knowing that they used to do something but are mystified they can't remember what.

Happy Birthday
- Somebody just posted this image in another Ask and I thought it was relevant:
- Damn! I was going to say American Pie but I think you've got the better answer but I don't want to hear either of these songs ever again.

All I want for Christmas - Mariah Carrey
- This.
  I am so sick of that goddamn song.
  
  She's defrosting...

The Song That Doesn’t End—we’ll finally rescue all those people who started singing it not knowing what it was.
- But they'll continue singing forever, they just won't know what they're singing anymore.

I’d improvise one on the spot. just to prevent the erasure of others’ art. Nah, fuck that; Baby Shark can die.

Baaaaby SHARK! Do-da-dooo, baby SHark…..
- I'd made it so long without hearing that song until it popped up in Umbrella Academy. Streak ruined.

4′33″. I hate that melody and would rather just listen to silence.
- Same, I randomly hear it in my head way too often
  
  Every time I try to remember how it goes, I can't hear it over my tinnitus.
- My Buddhist friend thinks it's catchy.

Queen's Radio Ga-Ga so I won't have PTSD about it anymore. When I was 19, I worked on a cruise ship that was still in the final stages of construction and at one point they were testing the PA system by playing that song, on repeat, for seven whole fucking days.
- Are you sure it was a cruise ship and not some sort of squid game shit? Because that sounds like actual torture.
  
  If there was anyone else aboard NCL's Pride of America before it left dry dock in Bremerhaven around 2004/2005 that is also on Lemmy, they'd be able to back me up. But there is a good chance everyone else who suffered with me is locked in the loony bin from having heard Radio Ga-Ga for a week.

At first, I was going to pass on destroying music, but then I remembered the anger I feel any time I have to see Peter Pan because, in part, the fucking racist shit that is What Makes the Red Man Red. Maybe I could work out a deal to erase the entire movie...
Before anyone attempts to defend it with, "it was a product of the times", know that the play Peter Pan is based on was considered shockingly racist at the time and Disney's solution to that was to double down on the racism so that nobody would take it seriously.
- Peter Pan is a very weird movie. Peter himself is pretty questionable.

Oh, probably this song or one like it:

Yes, it was a real song, published in London in 1900.
- fuck, it gets worse the longer you look at it.
- "...he sold the wool from off his head" wtf
- Thanks, I hate it.
- There are a few explicitly racist songwriters from more recent times that don't have any historical aspect.

"Last Christmas"
- Definitely that one. Since I can select the radio station without taking the hands of the steering wheel, it is "next station" as soon as it starts.
- My wife loves it, I hate it with passion.
- It's strange. It's for me like All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey.
  The first time it's played at Christmas time I get in the mood. The following times I want to throw out my radio.

Because it's already starting again, "Last Christmas". Fuck that garbage piece of shit song that's ruining the lives of everyone that has to work in retail during Christmas.
- I love this song.
  
  I'm very happy for you.
- That was far the from the worst IMO, The 12 Days of Christmas played 3 times in a row by 3 different singers once, I almost quit on the spot.

Happy birthday song.
Now it's even more awkward as everyone must stare in silence in front of the cake 😈
- what day is today, it's nibbler's birthday, what a day for a birthday, lets all have some cake

Hello sorcerer. Please erase "Man, I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain. It annoys me anyway, but it not like it makes being a woman sound especially inspiring either ("Colour my hair, do what I dare" - woah, slow down there Shania!). Thanks.
- So shall it be done.

They did. You're welcome.
- Good point. If the wizard did this you also would never know that such a song existed. Hence your "worst song in the world" spot would be filled with a different song the instant the spell hits.
  It shows how such categories as "the worst" and "the best" are only constructions of our mind.

"If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher, thus proving to her for a fraction of a nanosecond that her premise was actually possible after all, before every trace of the tune ceases to exist.
- Came here to say Believe. Fucking Auto-Tune.
  
  Ugh, so gross. Also a good pick 👍

last christmas 😁
- I firmly believe you have identified the correct answer.
  A lot of other song suggestions in this thread are actually decent and come down to taste, but this fucking song came to mind immediately.

Maybe the COPS theme song, cuz I think it did a lot to popularize the show and that was some mega-potent copaganda that did long-term damage.
Maybe Horst-Wessel-Lied, for similar reasons.
- But then we wouldn't have that epic fail train that was the cop chasing the guy on the dirt bike and got the patrol car stuck on the tracks of an active railway.

Beverly Hills - Weezer
I actually quite like Weezer, but goddamn that song drives me nuts for some reason I can't put my finger on. A close second is Bubbly - Colbie Caillat, in large part because of the line "I get the tingles in a silly place". It's such a deranged way to say you're horny.
- I think Beverly Hills is supposed to be grating. Like the people from Beverly Hills.

The American national anthem, please.
It's such a terrible song, and it keeps getting sung in weird ways by bad singers. I swear, as a non-american I'm subjugated to it more often than all other national anthems combined, including my own.
- God Save the King/Queen wants a word.

Last Christmas by Wham!

That Mariah Carey Christmas song every single retail worker hates
- It would be irresponsible not to.

Never Gonna Give You Up just so it breaks the Internet.

I'm just a kid who's four Each day I grow some more I like exploring, I'm Caillou
So many things to do Each day is something new I'll share them with you, I'm Caillou
My world is turning Changing each day With mommy and daddy I'm finding my way Growing up is not so tough 'Cept when I've had enough But there's lots of fun stuff
I'm Caillou, Caillou Caillou, I'm Caillou
That's me!

The United States of America National Anthem.

Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith
- Yeah, at least that other "product of its time" (TM) song about being surprised someone at the bar is trans sounds decent. Dude Looks Like a Lady is just bad.

Baby it’s cold outside.
Seems to be America’s favourite rape song played for the entire cold season.
- I was under the impression that this is a misconception about the songs meaning.
  At the time women would be expected to say no outright and go home. To say they have to leave, instead of having autonomy and being promiscuous.
  So in the song the woman wants to stay but is following the societal expectation to say they need to leave and the man is giving her all the excuses she could use to explain why she didnt leave, so people wouldnt suspect her of staying over to have sex.
  These days that expectation is not there so the song is interpreted in a different way and sounds super rapey.
  To be clear. I am not advocating for this old way of thinking, nor am i saying i know the explanation i have given is true. I am only telling what i have heard and felt like to me that actually makes a lot of sense in the right context.
  Basically, women wanted to be able to have sex with anyone they wanted, but people would look down on them for doing it. So, to avoid being ostracised, they would avoid situations like that.
  But again. I may be wrong. I have just heard this explanation and wanted to share.
  
  It was also written to be performed at the end of a party when they were telling the guests they didn't have to go home but they couldn't stay there
- Damn it is pretty pushy now that you mention it
- Santa Baby is also pretty gross. "Hurry down my chimney tonight" ...urm, okay..

Given the fact that your question has caused The Evil Song to get stuck in my head, Sorcerer, I feel you are obligated to erase "It's a Small World" from my mind and from existence.
Please and thank you.
- If you have been troubled, be troubled no more.

Russian national anthem, just to shit in their cheerios.
- I hate their current abhorrent nationalism and imperialism, but their anthem is kinda great.
  
  Agreed. The Russian government sucks but their anthem is S tier.

Either the British or American national anthems, they're both pretentious as fuck and it'd be kinda interesting to see if something like that has knock on effects down the line.
- I'd say the American one because as a British person, I haven't sung ours once in my entire life but Americans seem to sing theirs for everything.

Jesse's Girl. My high school used it daily in an ad for some bullshit they wanted to sell, and my first 10 working years they had a radio on wherever I worked on one of three stations depending, all of which play that song at least (at least) once a day every day. (That's at least daily and sometimes twice a day exposure to that garbage song for 14 years straight for anyone counting.)
If I hear it come on I will leave the room, and I'll be back in 3:14. Idgaf where I am. If I have the aux (it won't be played, but if it somehow does) I'm changing it. If I hit the lotto I'm buying the rights so nobody can play it on the radio and taking it off streaming so I can lessen the likelihood of exposure. I'll put it for free on itunes or some shit and never strike pirates but for the love of god please don't play it near me!
- That song’s protagonist is such a jealous, insecure piece of ass. I totally approve of that song being erased from existence.
  
  I thought he wanted to be Jesse's girl for a very long time.

Bird is the word irritates me in ways I cannot describe
- I don't think I've heard that one.
  
  Well don't you know, bird is the word? Everybody knows that bird is the word.

Mr. Brightside by the killers.... fuck that song, fuck that song so much. My hatred of that song extends to everything else the killers do without ever hearing them
- Guess what? It's been in the charts consistently for over 8 years and is currently #61.
- It was only a kiss...
- Never move to Britain then. It's essentially our national anthem at this point...

Intro song to star trek enterprise
https://youtu.be/bbnTZREMEJI
- It's been a long road getting from there to here.
  
  It’s been a long time, but my time is finally near!
- I think just using it as instrumental would have been fine, for some reason having lyrics for the first time scarred some fans, even though it's really not that bad.
  
  It's still not really fitting for a sci-fi show though.
- You monster

Just pick anything from 21 Pilots. I'd wipe them all out if I could, but deleting one is at least a step in the right direction.
- 20 pilots?
- This.
  
  I choose this comment as my song to delete

Santa Baby. Frickin' hate that song...
- Seantah baybee...

Everyone's ragging on the Christmas retail ambience songs, but at least you can mitigate the risks of hearing those ones by staying the fuck out of shopping malls. My top three:
Cotton Eye Joe
Whatever that song is that's basically just "tonight's gonna be a good night" over and over
Danza Kuduro
- The second song is "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwdrtwZiQ9E

The goddamn Macarena.

For the sake of that one poor woman, please delete "cbat." It's done enough damage.

That dance monkey song.
- ugh i take psychic damage whenever i hear that song
- Omg I had to scroll too far down for this... I detest this song with every fiber of my being. Unfortunately for me my beautiful children think it's amazing.

The Chicken Dance.
- You can't just ruin Oktoberfest like that. You're a monster.

Since I choose, am I aware of the song being gone afterwards? Can I choose a Beatles song that the world loves and then “write” it and profit from it? (See the movie “Yesterday”.) It’s interesting that a lot of answers are “get rid of the song that I don’t like. Okay, I get that. But! If I’m aware that the song is gone afterwards, I’d choose whatever the most sung religious song is just to see what that affects.
- Unfortunately, you must understand, as you are part of the reality you inhabit, you could not be aware of a song that never existed.
  
  Gotcha. And, fair enough. I now choose “Stairway to Heaven” so that the world forever debates Tenacious D’s “Tribute” and what song it could be about. ** laughs in Jack Black **

Bird is the word, fuck that song and on a similar note, fuck Peter Griffin.

Kars 4 Kids.
- lol especially because it’s advertising a fraud operation.

Sweet Caroline. No question.
- This is extremely brave
- Whooo ooooh no.

Happy birthday. Just to see what replaces it in NA

The boys are back in town. I never liked the sing to begin with, but when I first started my apprenticeship I was working in a valley that only had a couple of radio stations and the only one I liked was a classic rock station. Apparently one of their DJs loved it though. They would play it every day at the same time, just when I was getting out of work and getting on the highway to head home. It ruined my afternoon for about a week until I realised they were going to play it everyday, and I just started my ride home in silence. It still irritates the shit out of me when I hear it now.
- Oh! I got a similar story. My first roommate in college had a Police CD, Every time you got in it started at the first song, Roxanne... He NEVER changed the CD.
  I never was a big fan but by the end of the year I hated that song.
- it is such a pathetic song....remember that one time that guy did a thing and we just died laughing? remember that? That was cool....

The song that never ends, A paradox will occur wiping out of existence.

Pearl jam last kiss.
I just hate it.
Keep who let the dogs out, keep the witch doctor, toss the last kiss.
- Them's fightin' words!
- Tricky, theirs is a cover version, so the original would still exist.
- Updoot

Near, far....whereeeeeeever you are.
- And with it delete Matt Mulholland's beautiful rendition on the recorder? I think not!

A Kid Rock song and there are so many good candidates I can't decide.

289 comments