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Assuming I could figure out how to turn that thing on, I would definitely:
- Take off
- Go to maximum velocity
- Burn out all the fuel
- Acknowledge that I have no idea of where or how to land
- Look for the button to the ejection seat
- Glide down towards the equator
- Eyeball the necessary altitude
- Push the button
- Pull the parachute cord
- Flip both the birds
- Land on a beach
- Walk up to the bar
- Ask for a beer
- Run from the bill
Minor detail, the original pilot left it via the ejector seat...
I'll bring a lawn chair then.
take off
Knew you meant it as a joke but i thought it interesting to share that Fighters don't have a simple "start" button, here's a F-16 startup sequence for reference.
Most of that isn't involved in actually starting the plane.
They are things that would be good to have done to fly safely. Something analogous to turning on and tuning the radio in a car. You can absolutely start the engine and drive the car without doing that.
Good thing I've watched that video, twice then!
This one doesn't have an ejection seat, remember?
Limp to the bar, stumble away from the bill.
Ejection seats often cause career-ending musculoskeletal injuries to the lumbar spine and hips. It's is a very violent way to leave an airplane, but much less violent than the alternative.
There's also the teensy problem of the last guy to fly the plane took the seat with him.