Cash-Strapped Subway Threatens To Reveal Identities Of Customers Who Eat Subway If They Don’t Pay

It took me a stupid amount of time to realize that it's not about mass transit system being underfunded and wanting for money. Not even the presence of the word “customers” tipped me off, it was only after I encountered the words “eat subway” that I thought, “huh, that's strange. Don't they mean ‘eat inside the subway’? Fare dodgers that eat inside public transport?”

I sliced, pickled, and ate the onion.