Why the fuck people coming in here and being like "why spoons?? Just say 'energy'???" or whatever.
I'll tell you why: because when we say "energy", people start giving unsolicited advice on how to get more energy: take vitamins, eat healthy foods, go for a walk! Which.... you know, most of us do those things. And some of us can't do some of those things like the typical population.
Spoons run out. I'm out of spoons. I can't make more spoons. It will take time for the number of spoons to replenish to the point where I am able to hand out more. Until then: I am out of spoons. I can't give you a spoon.
Drag calls them spell slots
"Can't come to the party today, drag's out of spell slots. No, drag can't just take a short rest, drag's a wizard. No, drag won't sell drag's soul to Asmodeus."
Good for drag. Life is a marathon not a race.
At the same time, if you are chronically ill are you not allowed to relax? A normal person can go home and unwind, a person with chronic illness has to deal with the illness which might put them in constant pain, make them extremely tired etc, and also somehow has to spend extra effort solving it. How is that even remotely fair?
"spoons"? This might be a term I'm not familiar with...
You've already gotten some other answers, but here's the original post by Christine Miserandino who coined the term: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I'm very familiar with the concept but I had never seen the origin of spoon theory. Holy shit is that powerful
This is a complete tangent, but I work at an office job, where we're allowed to work remotely, but we meet up in the office typically once or twice a week. And I have this colleague, who decided a few weeks ago to do a work+travel thing, where she stayed in a city at the other side of the country and worked from there for a whole week.
Then we talked about when we should meet up in the office again in the week afterwards, and I suggested Tuesday, so she'd have Monday to kind of recover. As we talked, she mentioned that she would return on Sunday evening and that she had already separately made plans to come in on Monday to meet up with other colleagues, and then for separate organizational reasons, she ended up deciding to also come in on Tuesday.
Like, fuck me, here I am being mindful of her spoons, when she's more like a bucket chain excavator.
Thank you for sharing.
It’s a way chronically ill people talk about energy.
Our bodies tend not to be as resilient as healthy people. So if we do too much (ie. use too many spoons), instead of recovering after a day or two like healthy people would if they did too much, we tend to have our health worsen for long periods.
So the analogy is you have a limited number of “spoons” (energy) each day, and you have to use it wisely.
Obviously, this doesn’t impact every disability and is mostly used by chronically ill people and people with energy limiting conditions.
Spoons are a common metaphor for effort or energy.
It should be normal and acceptable to ask for help and receive it.
I understand people wanting to be independent (I'm independent and I like it that way), but I wish we could just help people out and not make it a big deal.
Asking for help shouldn't come with any expectations in return, except that someday you might need a similar favour and someone will be there to help you.
I'd add that being ill or disabled makes life more expensive, and dealing with health issues and insurance can be as draining as a full-time job.
Who the fuck is telling people to "try harder"? I only get told to fuck off if I'm not welcome. But the "try harder" thing is making me irrationally angry.
I had the same question. I'm not wired to say shit like that so it's surprising that it's that common.
