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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

Wizarding_Lizarding @sh.itjust.works

4d ago

I personally like Green Eggs & Ham

81 comments

- South. Eastern. Public. Transport authority.

Lolita while furrowing your brow and shaking your head so everyone knows you disagree with the protagonist's actions.

Based off of the try-hard linkedin douches I know I'd say:
The Art of War
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Rich-dad poor-dad
The Art of the Deal
- If this is the approach, Infinite Jest and War and Peace are solid options. Maybe Oversized Penises for Dummies.
  
  Fuck great call. I thought having two "war" novels might make the joke worse but Infinite Jest is peak big brain public masturbation reading material
- Habits of Highly Successful People

Surviving Life With Your Gigantic Penis by Chris Boden.
Yes, that's the title of an actual book.

- Art.

- And once you've finished:
  
  Rev. Owen Thomas

- But make sure you shake your head the whole time so people know you disagree with irrational numbers.

If you mean reading performatively ALOUD on public transportation, there's only one choice: The Bible, King James Version.
- Read In A Condescending Voice By a 14 Year Old Atheist.
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67Vg9EYy4c0
- While I agree I prefer the Ving Rhames version
  
  just realized I was actually in possession of the LeAnn Rimes version, unbeknownst to me
  
  Do they have The Meats™?

Is the new thing making fun of people who read on the train? I do it all the time ☹️
- John said "reading performatively" - so, unless you're doing that...
  
  Thankfully the people in charge of deciding whether your actions are performative or not have great judgment
  
  I’m curious to know what counts as performative reading haha
- Reminds me of Bill Hicks' bit 'What are you reading for?'
  
  Bro was going strong until he tried to put down people who bring me waffles.
  Those are some of the best kind of people, and, quite frankly?
  Comedians shouldn't be throwing stones at anyone in terms of life achievements.
  
  That is my favorite thing Bill Hicks ever did. Just a perfectly-crafted routine. I realize it's not his most political or anything, but just in terms of craft, it's amazing.

- I won't accept this anti pigeon rhetoric.

House of Leaves. That way if anyone notices you’re holding it upside down they’ll just think you’re really into it. And if anyone asks you what it’s about you can say “I have no fucking clue what’s happening, there’s a house I think?” and you’ll be correct.
- Um. I think it's pretty easy to understand, but it's all a meta-narrative with an unreliable narrator.
  The narrative devices are quite ingenious.
  
  I watched a video essay on MyHouse.wad. I've never played Doom or read House of Leaves. Now I don't need to do either.
  
  I love the book, just gently poking fun.

Why Civil Resistance Works by Eric Chenoweth & Maria Stephan
- Is the answer the implied threat of uncivil resistance?

Oh god do people think you're being performative when you read in public transport?
- Only people who don't read.

Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake.
- Gotta start with Titus Groan! Just skip the forword that was added most recently though.

Anything by Chuck Tingle

Is there a book about how Ayn Rand was a total piece of shit that helped ruin America?

If you’re on a bus, read the novelization of Speed.
- What's it called?
  
  Speed.

How about an oversized Dr Seuss book?
- Props if it is:
  I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew
  Yertle the Turtle
  The Sneetches

You can never go wrong with the classic, Turtleneck top, glases (not optional), sneakers, Ulysses.
There is a more modern way though, bring a travel chessboard and do random moves, then look at your phone type somethgin, wait, and then make another random move.

Catcher in the Rye, of course.
Make sure to scribble madly, illegibly, in the margins and the occassionally glare at your fellow passengers while making finger guns.

Did any of Chuck Tingle's books get physical releases?
- Yes. I've seen this at a queer bookstore.
- Print them out on computer paper and staple your own!

Can't believe no one's suggested Nietzsche (Zarathustra, etc). Maybe no longer in vogue now that sincerity is on the rise, though.

Moby Dick. It is free, unnecessarily long, really wordy, and mostly boring.
- Just a man who hates a fish.
  
  I think way too much about how Ishmael complained that the harpooner didn't also spear the whale and only hooked it and always also expected to row the hardest. Like, hell yeah, you've convinced me, Herman Melville!
  Rockwell Kent's illustrations are also amazing.
  
  Wait a minute.
  You can't evolve out of a clade.
  Mammals are ultimately descended from fish...
  My fucking God, whales are fish.

No go hard mode, "Fox in socks" you have a total of 2 minutes.
- https://youtu.be/q5wvurTU5DI

Can reccomend the the epic of Gilgamesh, just be sure you don't actually enjoy reading it, or else you'd just be reading on the bus...

Beat the dealer, it shows you read and that you are smart in other ways

A Critique of Pure Reason

A nearly monotone, apathetic reading of The Stranger or The Plague.

The dictionary

Can't go wrong with Hobbit and LOTR!
- It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

Go Dog, Go!
Do you like my hat?

Real talk, H.G. Wells was a fantastic author and his biggest hits are both immediately recognizable enough to be a performative conversation starter while also having the added bonus/hazard of potentially accidentally getting into it.
War of the Worlds, The Time Machine and The Invisible Man are all ones I've recently listened via Librivox (I linked the specific readers I listened to) during my commutes, but of course, my goal is to actually enjoy the books
- I really love journey to the centre of the earth.

Autumn in Pekin by Boris Vian, which happily doesn't treat neither Pekin nor Autumn in any way.

Memoirs of the better Past, be Wizarding_Lizarding.

Eat Prey, Luv??

81 comments