The gold Apple Watch Edition was a completely different luxury watch flex.
Apple will no longer fix the $17,000 gold Apple Watch::The original Apple Watch models, including the $10,000-plus 18-karat gold Edition that Beyoncé wore, are now officially obsolete and won’t get parts, repair, or replacement services.
A $17k workstation from the 90's would not even be able to browse the internet.
To put it in perspective, we didn't even have multi-core CPUs until the mid 2000's, a mid 90's machine would have around 400 MHz on a single core and that's being generous.
I mean is at the end is a watch... at worst case the basic function will work. Although I admit that the battery is still a problem in this case.
And that's even if you look at the hour and isn't just an accessory that you barely use it's function.
Once the batteries of those things die (and they will die in short order) they are completely useless. Just small black bricks with a hint of gold on the outside.