AP News - WASHINGTON - The White House announced the sudden and early retirement of the president on Tuesday following the acceptance of a "tremendous deal" which analysts say was, in fact, an obvious scam.

The fake email, found in the president's Yahoo mailbox, was addressed from the non-existent "UN Council on Government Efficiencies", and offered one Trillion dollars to any head of state who ended their term "in the next 24 hours".

Trump remarked:

When you've been in business as long as I have, you attract a lot of great deals!

He added that Elon Musk was a "Grade-A loser":

I'm finally richer than that obnoxious try-hard! Did you know he eats his own boogers? Disgusting.