How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Tiring times in the world right now. I am extremely mad at how Palestina gets covered here and how we are watching a genocide unfold while accepting everything the IDF puts forwards as true. I honestly think I can't get back to normal after seeing the shit that has happened in the past weeks. How can I ever act normal to people who are casually accepting genocide as the right thing to do?
But personally I feel like doing okay. I tackled some problems I had a while ago and so far things seem to go right. I'm even starting to make some sort of plan for the next few years about where I want to end up. The options I have in mind are somewhere along the Atlantic Ocean in Europe, a certain European island or somewhere more remote in a forest. But we're talking about between now and ten years. My job and my health are doing okay as well.
Even politics seem positive because according to the polls our party is now standing at 14% of the votes and the campaign hasn't even started. We're doing so well that other parties are now talking about excluding is from results lol.
How about you?
I'm well. Went to a pro-Palestine rally yesterday, have a flash-protest today (meaning off of social media to prevent pig presence), have one tomorrow, and am going to the national march on Nov. 4th that I posted a few days ago.
The protest today is at a "defense" manufacturing company which is producing weapons and vehicles being used in Israel at this moment. A few parties I'm involved with are organizing it.
There seems to be a lot more support for Palestine than I imagined. We got lots of supportive honks yesterday. There were a few zionist apologist counter-protestors but they were vastly outnumbered. It's pretty cool to see.
I'm getting very involved in everything organizing and I love it. On a personal level, I'm doing well too. Sober for 75 days, feeling great. Just got back from a nephrologist and it looks like my kidneys are healing from the meth use. Schooling is going decent and I'm finding a lot of good connections through party activities. Things are looking up.
Only complaint is the relative alienation I have in my community. It's a crackerburb. I have to drive a good 30 minutes before I get to anyone who thinks like us. Other than that, I'm chilling.
Glad to hear things aren't horrible for you. Keep it up with the party stuff, that's really encouraging to hear. 14% is insane, genuinely. Doesn't sound like a lot but for a European/Western nation that's brilliant.
Congrats on the sobriety! I have 11 days sober from alcohol as of today, stay strong comrade ;) By the way, I've been thinking of starting a sober community, would you mind if I PMd you when I do? I'm going to try and grow it into a small, but active communuty hopefully.
Good to see you having a positive streak, and great to see you organizing as well. I'm glad you find orgs to be with.
Congrats on the sobriety as well. As someone who had to clean themselves of drug use I know how hard it can be and 75 days is huge.
Keep moving 💪🏼
Much love to you, comrade. Keep the head up
Crackerburbs really are a uniquely depraved feeling.
I'm really happy for you Teezy, you deserve this comeup.
Yeah, as someone who likes nature I’m sickened traveling most places in the US that aren’t mostly forest. On the highway all you can see is invasives and destructive industrial agriculture. In suburban or rural places there are so many lawns. Cities suck too with all the cars and lack of greenery most places. At least where I live I have a bit of greenery and can feel good about not wasting land with sprawling lawn and spread out living.
Nice, I heard about the DC protest at the one I went to and kinda wanna go.
Not to be too much of downer but honestly I'm doing pretty bad and have been for years. I was starting to get better with therapy but ofc the state health coverage I was essentially born with expired right as I started making significant progress. Seeing all the garbage being pushed about Palestine doesn't help much either lol.
Yeah, therapy is so expensive. Any way you can afford it, or that they would take any cheap insurance?
I doubt I could afford it without insurance but yeah my backup plan is just to get insurance and hope the state decides to help cover some of it.
I had a nice week :D
I wouldn't want you to have it any other way
Not good. Feeling like shit especially given our financial situation
That's rough. I hope that you can at least you can find support in whoever you are going through this with.
Thanks
What's the situation? If you can/want to share.
School is too boring. I feel disconnected from my classmates, life is getting worse thanks to financial situation especially given dad is pretty much unemployed now, and I can't even do so much as start a repair shop just to get by.
Imagine having so many goals for yourself only to know that climate change is inevitably going to fuck up the world in the years to come.
That's how I feel.
I'm doing a little better lately. I finally found a family doctor and have a mental health appointment scheduled next month. I'm hoping to get treatment for ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I'm interested to see what's on the other side after living ADHD and anxiety all my life, and depression for the adult portion of it.
I also recently switched teams at work and so far the work has been more interesting and the environment less stressful. It's still early days, but things are looking good so far. My new manager also seems to not be a sociopath, so there's that too.
As far as Israel-Palestine, the mainstream narratives have been disappointing to say the least. I suppose that's to be expected though. In contrast to his Ukraine-Russia perspective, HasanAbi's coverage has been excellent and uncompromising. I think there's more of a willingness among the general public to see Israel as an oppressor whereas Ukraine has just been propoganized to hell.
I've been using this as an opportunity to radicalize some friends. There's a ton of historical MSM content that supports the Palestinian struggle. Bernie's recent statement is a good example of social democracy being the moderate wing of fascism.
I still held a soft spot for Bernie but man that position he took shit that bed.
Me too, but I was previously unfamiliar with how dogshit his foreign policy is. It's unfortunate, but ultimately not surprising. The hipocracy to spend your life advocating for the liberation of the working class in the west, but fuck everyone else. He's just another western chauvinist.
Tired and barely able to get off my phone, but I went to a pro Palestine protest a couple days ago and it was nice.
Holy shit that 14% is awesome, fuck yeah!!!
All things considered I'm pretty decent.
spoiler
Yeah the al Aqsa response has fucked me up. I've spent my whole life feeling complicated and oftentimes ignoring my roots because it was too personal to engage with, I'm learning basic things this Israel v Palestine news cycle that I haven't before. The first 4 days I did nothing but pace around religiously read Palestinian telegrams make war music and drink. And now I feel myself clocking back out again, no amount of music or graffiti or talking to the people around me about it makes me feel less powerless. It's also weird because it really highlights the rift between me and my dad and most of his family (my Palestinian side), I tried to talk with him about it and he seemed disinterested in talking to me. There's a whole slew of reasons though.
Other than that okay, I got arrested but I might qualify for pretrial intervention (no jail, dropped charges, just about $600 in fees, probation and community service, which sucks but is better than minimum 3 months maximum 3 years in prison). I really worked some Machiavellian muscles on the cops, it felt like good practice. I managed to avoid several other charges...suffice to say it could have been much much worse. If there is still a God I thank them.
I've stopped smoking weed (incoming random drug tests, but I was heading that direction already anyways) so I've been emotionally processing the last 2 years for the first proper time. I'm crying a lot and rewatching Breaking Bad.
I got a new job, hazmat removal, mildly interesting, more importantly it actually pays decent, I might be able to actually slowly pay off my debts and work towards my goals instead of treading water indefinitely.
Many of my coworkers at my first job rap or produce and I'm excited to work with them.
One of my coworkers I got into a pretty heated argument yesterday, 3 different people all tried to deescalate. He was being very disrespectful but I kept cool enough. I'm very disappointed, I liked the guy, I hope we can mano y mano and squash it but I'm not sure it will be worth it.
I get lonely romantically and sexually, but I've discovered I have no business being on dating sites et. al. right now, it just leaves me feeling worse whether its success or failure. I wish I could just turn off the feeling for 6 months or so and not be bothered by it.
Quitting smoking (cigarettes too) has made my voice much better and I think my future singing work will go from a D+ to a B.
I helped my ex move, she was in a dangerous situation. It was the first time I've seen her since last March. It was hard but it was also okay.
I saw my brother with my family recently. We had Mexican 😎 I'm always amicable to some Mexican. But I always overspicy my mouth with the salsas and then have to HAHHH HAHHH HAHHH 🥵 before I can eat my actual entree 😅
Thanks for always asking us!
It sounds like you are welcoming positive changes in your life and that is good to see. Keep up the work ✊🏻
Thank you, you too!
The first 4 days I did nothing but pace around religiously read Palestinian telegrams make war music and drink. And now I feel myself clocking back out again,
Real. I read all the telegram messages the first few days. Then I got like four days behind and had to catch up. Now I have 512 notifications and I don’t know if I’ll bother looking at them. I figure most important developments that aren’t just “more rockets launched, more martyrs” will show up on Lemmygrad.
I’m glad to see some things are looking up for you, comrade.
Yeah same. And thank you!!
Bored, empty, and angry.
Eh occasionally I'll be scrolling the Internet and feel something on my face only to realize I've been silently crying for a couple of minutes now.
What's got you?
Just recent events and the fact that I tend to have a depressive personality in general. When shit goes down like this it always messes me up.
wait, they are talking about just going full "dictatorship style" and excluding a party with 14% of the votes of the result?
Also, I'm pretty fine right now. I'm working on a research project at my university, for which I've received an scholarship grant (about 120USD per month for a year, which is about 0.5x the minimum wage)
Other stuff to say: Here in Brazil the Palestina conflict is being pretty controversial. The evangelicals are fully supporting Israel, "leftists" are split on the subject, and the government (as in traditional Brazilian foreign policy) is trying to keep itself neutral.
More stuff to say: The government here is discussing a possible humanitarian visa for armenians from Nagorno-Karabakh and palestinians, which would help them escape their conflicts to Brazil. I do not know if I should support this or not (especially the palestinan part) because this would just accelerate their displacement and would in the end help the israeli forces in their effort to ethnically cleanse palestine. Still, I do think that people who want to leave should be able to leave.
wait, they are talking about just going full “dictatorship style” and excluding a party with 14% of the votes of the result?
In their defence, they already do this with the far right neonazi party as well. And they were even more popular than we are now. Luckily they slowed down to around 14% too.
What's happening now, I think, is the result of the neolibs losing their majority to left wing parties. In Antwerp, for example, the left with our marxist party, the Greens and another socdem party can now form a majority without any right wing neolib party. I think they want to exclude us to keep leftists blocks from forming.
I don't know what to think about displacing oppressed native people from their land. It does seem like a solution that helps to oppressor instead of helping a liberation movement.
Wtf? As an American I'm used to "leftists" being quarter brained jackasses, but at least they seem consistently decent on Palestine. Why are Brazilian leftists split on it?
Because there are lots of real leftists in Brazil that usually get lumped in with the "leftists" of the revisionist parties.
It would probably be good if Palestinians were able to escape the violence and get actual food and water, but Isntreal probably wouldn’t allow it either way. What they need is for the aid from many countries to go through.
Pretty good, but wanted to say I really appreciate this place and your work here. Just casually talking here is a breath of fresh air, so thank you.
It's not quite a substitute for friends/family/irl community but it is definitely the next best thing, DEFINITELY way better than any other "social" media.
✊🏻
Trying to balance my emotional engagement with this and also finding things that actually fill my battery. It's really hard to enjoy things right now because it feels like escapism. But I'm learning more and more about myself; that if I'm not nurturing my joy as well, my usefulness to anybody really suffers.
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got started on meds last week and so far they haven't been working. the thought of doing college again is stress inducing and i've never gotten over it.
i started dieting maybe a week ago and already seeing some small, incremental results. writing is still difficult because i need to shut down my ego more or less
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I hate to sound like an attention seeker, but
https://littleredschoolhouse.libsyn.com/61-how-capitalism-distorts-our-feelings
I fucking drank some water and now I have a sore throat. It was bottled ater too, so I don't know if that means the whole company is bad or what. I felt it immediately too.
Update: I appear to have a cold. It wasn't the water lol
I'm doing pretty good, apart from the fact that I got into a heated argument with my father the other day
I'm more tired and busy than I've ever been with party work + normal life, but it's all very worth it. I don't know what else to do after all. I've been trying to ensure I do take care of my other responsibilities as well though. It's just been straight march after march after march after forum after march, but who am I to complain when people over the world are fighting for their Liberation, and paying the ultimate price?
I've been able to get a close friend of mine into more party events, and so it's good to have people to discuss Socialism with IRL outside of organizing. I recently discovered someone I knew in Highschool is a zionist 🤮🤢, and was posting nonstop zionist garbage. The tragic thing is that they were the child of a South American immigrant, smh. I don't know what the line is between working with someone where they are VS being actively hostile to them.
I had an unfortunate experience with someone I was seeing casually for a bit, and that's been quite a learning experience. I luckily have a supportive support system I think, so we'll see how things pan out.
Glad to hear you're doing okay, and the party work you're up to sounds very exciting :). I'm debating if I want to start posting pictures of events and stuff that I go to on here, but I'm mulling it over...
Haven't been the same since my org dissolved
I've got the vid. It's fuckings sucks, can't sleep, can't relax, throat kills, head hurts. Should have worn a fucking mask at the work gathering. Dumb.
Hope you recover soon. Covid's still around. Thanks for reminding me to still take it seriously.
I've been living on my savings for the past three years. I'm extremely privileged and not deserving of sympathy, but I lost the will to work during COVID and haven't been able to return to the workforce since. I've mostly used the time to pursue passions I wasn't able to while working, take care of my body/mind, and to educate myself. Otherwise I am doing fine. I'm glad that you feel like you are in a good place. Politically, I'm hopeful of the future while in despair of the present.