groof

milf - milves

I propose we use roofies! It sounds cute and probably isn't taken already.

Mouse -> Mice

Louse -> Lice

House -> Hice

ox - oxen
box - boxen
equinox - equinoxen
xerox - xeroxen
- Die - Dice
  Pie - Pice
  Tie - Tice
  Lie - Lice
Moose -> Moose
Cher -> Cher
- it's moosi

Check out this sweet moof!

I checked out your ma's sweet moof last night 👉😏👉
I'll accept groof if it means we get moof and rooves.

Because the English language is known for its rigid consistency of pluralization.

https://youtube.com/shorts/jYrMq6RVKK0

Language is descriptive, so there’s nothing stopping you from using “rooves”, other than what typically results from using words others may not understand. Get enough people over long enough a timeline, and “rooves” becomes the norm, and “roofs” becomes archaic. Just gotta put in the effort.

I can groof to that!
- Ew! Perv.
Dialectic morphology is a mofo.
eg. "w00t" is a word. 🤮
- 🤮
  is a word
Literally
Linguistics is a descriptive science.
Language though is not science, it's a cultural practice. Adhering to a specific set of rules to signal belonging to a specific cultural subgroup is perfectly normal; and deviation from those rules is not a socially neutral act. When and how you deviate signals a lot of things about you and what you're saying.
That's why slang is fascinating. It always tells a story. Whether it's English Prep School jargon that breached containment, whitewashed AAVL, group in-jokes, unconventional emojis, etc., a slang word says a lot about the person who uses it.
That is to say, if you unironically start saying "rooves", I can't say whether you'll start a trend that will ultimately change English forever (weirder things have happened). But I can assure you that the immediate effect will be that people will label you "tumblr weirdo". Which would be a correct assessment, so that's effective subtextual communication. Yay linguistics!
- I think I've been saying rooves my whole life. I don't think I'd generally write it that way, but it feels more natural to say.
  If I have, I'm not sure anyone's noticed. My speech patterns are odd though, so it might not be terribly noticable. It's also possible I've never had to say the word. It's not common that you need to pluralize roof.
- Explain prescriptive linguistics

I am Groof.

The trooves are out there.

This dude thinks that the singular of hooves is "hoove"

rooves and roofs are both accepted as correct though? Roofs being the standard is a pretty new thing, and not the more common one everywhere

I haven't once seen 'rooves' used, let alone be considered as correct.
Wiktionary says it changed in the 17th century, so depending on your definition of "new", sure. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/roofs
It doesn't sound weird to me personally, although it does look weird when written out.
- It is how I was taught in the 80s, and I went to school in Europe, and the US. So, pretty recently it was quite common.

Groofy.

We are groof.

Okay, but think about this: Groofy.

As soon as I typed that, I changed my mind. No longer defending groof.

One might say it sounds ... goofy.

They're on the roof, they've found the groof

Vulfmon - Disco Snails (YT)

You beat me to it. When I saw this post I wondered if this is where they got the word from lol

Would most native speakers actually pronounce "rooves" differently from "roofs"? Is "grooves" already pronounced differently from a hypothetical "groofs"?

There is a difference, but it depends on accent. I don't think anyone would notice in speech if you switched though
f is the voiceless labiodental fricative and v is the voiced labiodental fricative.
Basically for roofs your vocal cords don't vibrate on the final f sound. For rooves your vocal cords vibrate on the final v sound.
- I know the difference between f and v, the question is whether it makes a difference in this specific case and if yes, whether most native English speakers actually know that. I'm not a native English speaker and words that end in -ooves aren't that common (when is the last time you said "grooves" or "hooves"?).
  English is famously inconsistent about how written letters are pronounced, and there are a lot of accents.
I think there is a slight difference. Ooves is slightly longer and softer sounding than oofs.
Right now? Any if this vocalized in public puts you at some risk of deportation, NGL.
Would most native speakers actually pronounce "rooves" differently from "roofs"?
I think so, but might depend on thier accent or dialect .
Is "grooves" already pronounced differently from a hypothetical "groofs"?
Thats a joke, groofs isn't actually a word(yet 😅), the singular of grooves is groove.
- Thats a joke, groofs isn’t actually a word(yet 😅), the singular of grooves is groove.
  What exactly do you think "hypothetical" means?