Guilty conscience meat eaters use concern trolling to salvage their own self-esteem. In my experience, those expressions of worry are back handed compliments at best. They never come from people who are in better shape than I am and they don't come from people with better nutrition either.
I lost 58kg and the only things I ever heard was concern trolling from my friends that resented me for doing what they could not.
Never heard word one about my body while I was unhealthy and unhappy, and the shitty remarks started as soon as the weight reduction became noticeable.
"Woah slow down, don't want you to disappear!"
"You've proven your point! You can eat a donut!"
"Why do you want to be miserable and only eat seeds?"
"Fuck dude you're vanishing! Eat a hamburger!"
"You think you're better than everyone now!"
"It's actually really unhealthy to be as lean as you've become."
"Don't like hanging out anymore, you make me think about every molecule I put in my damned mouth!"
"You look like a skeleton now."
Wow those are shitty people. Good on you for losing that weight, as a hefty fellow it's fucking haaaaard work and you should be proud of the effort you put in!
I made so many changes in my journey. I taught myself to cook and made every meal from scratch ingredients... for 6 months. I'm reminiscing now thinking about how many tortillas I've pressed, sauces I've made, things I've fermented, and hundreds of hours on the cutting board. How many times I ordered a "kid size" pizza or sundae on my "cheat" days lol
I ran (poorly), swam, rode, lifted and burned so many calories. I meditated every day and did monthly therapy to help with the mental stress of the physical and lifestyle changes. That is all time, effort, pain, money, and sacrifice.
Every day without wavering I made a hundred difficult little choices that prioritized my goals vs my desires/old patterns. Food everywhere and people genuinely insulted when I wouldn't partake with them or in their way. Watching my friends literally not enjoy their meal from their own shame, just because my serving was conspicuously smaller. Dealing with my biology compelling me to eat one way while I was consciously reprogramming myself to eat another way. Massive social pressures from all sides.
I never really even told anybody of my goals or changes. I didn't make it my personality or a thing. Never spoke of it once or advocated anything to my friends. Only spoke about being slimmer when specifically asked.
That's why it was so hurtful to undertake such tremendous responsibility for my own personal transformation, and then have people internalize it, make my journey about how them and how they feel shitty when they look at me, then make a snide or sinister comment. Only my best friend of 30 years gave me any positive feedback.
The whole thing was kind of a rough ride. Worth it in the end, but wow it was so much more than just eating less.
Thanks for listening. I really appreciate your comment a lot!
Such and interesting read and I hope you found it worth it in the end..! You've verbalised a lot of my experiences with quitting alcohol. It was the hardest thing I've done and lost a lot of 'friends' along the way. But ended up happier, healthier, and genuinely enjoying life again.
Good for you my friend! Yes it was the same thing when I quit alcohol 8 years ago! Quickly find out that people are happy for you to quit drinking until you actually do it, then it's like ... what you think you're better than me? Come on have a drink!
Wow this is the truth of the post. Not just that it ia demeaning that vegans get harassed but why it's counter to the reality of the effort being made.
Good on you, yeah you can't downplay the fortitude required to make such life altering changes. It's so easy to slip back into the status quo. That being said for anyone else reading, if you've tried, and failed, remember that you got further along than if you never tried at all. Keep at it, don't beat yourself up, you can do it!
Ah that's interesting and something I hadn't considered. I wasn't really on any meds except Nexium at the time. Is your heart medication dose dependent on weight? I genuinely don't know anything about the conditions or treatment.
What do you credit for the 12kg regaining? Just wondering, my weight still swings about 8kg this way and that but I seem to have generally stabilized in a range.
Is your heart medication dose dependent on weight?
It's somewhat interesting, because the main heart meds are metabolic blockers (ramipril and bisoprolol, respectively an angiotensin-converting enzime inhibitor, and a beta1-selective blocker that inhibits cAMP phosphorylation), so they can only block certain metabolic paths and once that's done, they can't have more effect no matter the dose (they're basically non-overdoseable).
But... at the same time, I had a diuretic added on (dapagliflozin) as part of a combined diabetes treatment, that used to work fine at the top weight, but at the bottom weight turned out to both reduce blood volume, impacting blood pressure, and lower blood sugar by too much, so that one had to go.
What do you credit for the 12kg regaining?
Reduction in stress (an extreme stress peak is what made me lose most of the weight), along with depression, and general despair due to a double back hernia that left me barely able to walk. I'm slightly better now after some physiotherapy, but still moving way less than before, so it's anyone's guess how it will go. It also made me switch to a worse diet, since I can't stay up long enough to prepare healthier stuff.
I'm gonna be honest, I wanted to argue against this, but I can't deny it. I'm part of a relatively overweight family (actually mostly because of immune system problems that thankfully I didn't inherit) and all I get from my parents are "You're looking skinny" or "You're worrying too much about weight" just because I want to exercise and eat well. Even then, I'm ~20lbs over weight. To be devil's advocate, I think part of it is that overweight people have struggled with problems of being too hard on themselves before, and so don't want to you fall into that, but go too far the other way.
The conversation of overweight/vegans doesn't exactly overlap perfectly, but it made me think of it.
Virtually nobody who eats meat feels guilty about it. Animals are there to be food. If there was a life form that could eat me it would, and I'd have to accept that.
Virtually nobody who eats meat feels guilty about it
I felt guilty about it and became a vegetarian and, once I leaned about how milk and eggs lead to death and suffering, a vegan. I have been so for 10 years plus now.
Animals are there to be food.
Yes, but only in the same sense that woman are there for the plesure and serving of men. It's a social construction and is, as it thankfully has with the perception of woman, changing.
If there was a life form that could eat me it would, and I'd have to accept that.
I don't think so. I think you'd ramble in about how unethical it is to eat a sentient beeing and how cruel this hypothetical lifeform is. Because that's how we are build. It's easiest for us to feel empathie towards our own sorry asses.
You can learn to expand your empathie tough. Start here. Watch it completely. No skipping. Then we can talk:
Actually every human has some E. Coli in their gut - it's one of the many flora that inhabit our digestive tracts. And what's so bad about cannibalism? Those people in the Andes only survived because they ate their dead teammates, and some of them even said they'd do it again because it's the only thing that prevented them from starvation.
We bred them to be like that tho there were wild versions of chickens. Ever seen a wild turkey? Fuuuuck. Talk about risk if you miss that things taking an eye out. Bovines were easier prey but in the wild would have been protected by bulls, I think?
Okay, let someone murder you and eat you if they are hungry then. Plenty of people go hungry each year, why don't we eat each other? Or why won't you capture and eat my dog?
This, ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinaries in finery, is what fascism looks like. "I'm biologically superior", "I can do whatever I want with lesser beings", "the whole world exists to serve me", "I can create an industrial machine of killing for my pleasure". That's called fascism. And we don't tolerate fascists.
If there was a life form that could eat me it would
Yeah, it's called COVID-19. It wants to use your cell nuclei to grow its children from your body's energy stores, and it doesn't mind if it shuts down your respiratory system until you can't breathe. And there are a hundred deadly diseases like it.
Every time you wash your hands, blow your nose with a tissue, or cover your mouth to cough, you are showing you value life above the supposed right of predators to eat you. And that's okay. Everything has a right to live and that's okay.