Lost my dad a few years ago leading into the holidays.
It sucks. But remembering them is nice. I keep an album of my dad that's part of the rotation of photos that goes on my TV, and those memories are great.
Now at least. 3 years ago they were rough to see. And I should point out - my dad has ALS and we knew it was coming. Doesn't make it better when it happens.
I hope your days get better soon. Take it one at a time. You'll get through this.