A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.
A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by "Hamas" in a major population center.
An article will come out revealing that Biden's aides have secretly been testing his food because they're afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala's approval rating in either direction.
Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.
In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.
There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to "take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now."
Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul's desk in the senate.
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV -200
Political assassination anywhere in the world +180
Joe Biden dies +150
A VP becomes president +300
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech -100
Israel wins the legal battle +400
A fascist doesn't become president +99999
Bitcoin's price changes by $40,000 +200
Retail real estate prices collapse +300
Retail real estate gets bailed out +600
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse +200
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
US involvement in an African military conflict +300
Well see a coup or attempted coup in a EU member state.
Some German politician thats anti-us gets merced.
The newly created American army bases in Denmark lead to assassination(s) of one or more "left" organizers in Denmark. Also just regular army base bullshit.
A new disease starts spreading among cattle. The farmers resist all attempts at regulation, China is blamed.
I lose weight, but because of something bad happening.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed.
Lynetteholmen leads to drastic dieoff of the recently introduced cod-population in the Baltic.
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Merger between steam and some other platform.
We'll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
Trump dies like a month or two before the election
This throws the trump/qanon base into chaos. Some dive deeper into their fantasies, trump isn't dead he faked his death so he could do covert ops and lead the white hats. Others lose their minds and accuse the deep state of assassinating him. There's isolated incidents of stochastic terrorism, but mostly his base is too cowardly and unorganized to do anything, plus they'd rather watch their shows than take any action, so nothing really happens except for a brief increase in funny/sad facebook screenshots.
All the chaos results in Biden being reelected.
Biden dies like the day after he's inaugurated.
Biden's new VP becomes president. Finally, we have the best woman for the job!
Maybe in 1 year is too soon but building off the Chinese balloon story this year
Made in Mexico Chinese EVs start slowly getting sold in USA before the US can fully roll out new tariffs to stop them. Americans go batshit insane and start destroying any Chinese EV they see on the road. At least 1 person gets shot while inside one
Things continue to get worse
The Bell Riots will start in September
I’ll probably further my transition, come out to more people, start dressing more femme, and maybe even get my hands on some of the good stuff
Russia attempts a large offensive, trying to end the war before spring. The army makes modest gains, then the offensive stalls again. The war continues by January 2025.
The war in Gaza continues being a meat-grinder with heavy Palestinian, mostly civilian losses and a slow pace of the Israeli offensive. Eventually, a ceasefire happens somewhere in late spring and the situation returns to the pre-October status quo.
A new round of unrest in Venezuela happens after the election.
Fascists win a bunch of European elections.
Some new climate-change related catastrophes happen in both the global north and south, causing unrest and migration in the most affected countries.
New temperature records and "hottest month in history" happen several times through the year.
Some old celebrity or person in position of power, say the pope, dies.
Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone. Kennedy gets over 10% of the vote. If Biden survives, he wins. Nevertheless, the turnout will drop.
The bourgeois economies remain afloat, stagnant and sickly, but no crisis yet.
Right wing terrorism continues to rear its ugly head.
The UK government doesn't survive until the 2025 election. The Tories go further right, but bootleg Tony Blair wins and changes nothing about the current policies of the United Kingdom... except give more money to cops.
China and Russia remain stable.
The left keeps shrinking.
Garbage gets his username back and stops drinking
• Lenin awakens from his century long hibernation
• Alex Jones mocks me by continuing to live
• The unusual amount of Australia-related foreshadowing in my life pays off
Israel sees massive inflation from war time spending. The US will stabilize their currency by discretely buying and selling their currency. They will incentivize the private sector to do direct foreign investment. The US will see another inflation event towards the end of the year.
Dems successfully prevent trump from being a viable candidate and we get to see Jan 6 again, but probably more protracted and even more disorganized. The sicko in me wants to see what the hogs will do.
Fascists win elections and culture wars as usual, liberals become irrelevant, and we stay irrelevant only when someone to blame is being brought up.
Normies really REALLY love their fascism and will stick with it through thick and thin.
It’s like 2023, but worse.
Biden and Trump die on the podium, most likely at the same time
X re-renamed to Twitter
Hillary loses to Trump's vice president pick
turtles are declared an antisemitic dogwhistle
botched coup attempts
Russia makes small, but noticeable gains against Ukraine by the end of the year.
Sanctions are declared, backfire
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won't vote for them
von der Leyen decrees shoot on sight on EU borders, critics will say it doesn't go far enough
An additional pandemic
More Gazan children are murdered, somebody (most likely Fetterman) explains why that's a good thing and extremely humanitarian
Vaush explodes and takes out Haz somehow
Jimmy Carter dies right before hitting 100
Kamala gets to be acting President for a day while Biden has his appendix removed
CNN gets duped by some shaky cam deepfake vid of a politician saying a slur in a private meeting
Pixar announces a movie NOT themed around humanized objects/concepts
GTA VI gets its release date announced then immediately gets its first delay
New Jack Swing Revival
Temu gets taken down because of espionage fears
Elon retweets a ride-or-die soyjak-making groyper
Hot Topic goes bankrupt
Somehow Desantis becomes president because the world hates me.
U.K bans all pronouns, accidentally makes entire country legally non-binary.
Hillary Clinton tells centrist republicans to Nintendo Switch 2 voting blue
Another ship gets stuck in a canal
Crash Bandicoot movie voiced by Chris Pratt
i will play a fun video game at some point probably i dunno
🐿️💭............🌰🥢🐿️
America collapses
Inshallah
2024 fanfiction:
1 Trump goes to jail
2)Trump wins because he is in jail, and then pardons himself and everyone from jan 6
2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history, but still lose handily (oof). Media never mentions it anyway.
3)Biden dies of natural causes shortly before Election Day. Media pretends it is a great tragedy, but literally nobody cares. He still loses to Trump in jail.
3a) Kamala is literally a deer in a headlights, immediately defers to Antony Blinken and John Bolton for advice. Decides to bomb a random country.
4)Trump dies of natural causes within weeks of Biden dying, VP-elect Tom Cotton calls for bombing of Iran, China, and alliance with Russia. Moscow refuses.
5)Democrats suffer biggest defeat in a generation, but media and politicians refuse to admit it has to do with Palestine. Ignore issue and claim it had to do with border/taxes/left overreach/poor campaigning/debates. Media/pundits decides people wanted to bomb Iran and Biden was too soft.
6)Ansarallah movement sinks US warship
7)Liberals start putting yellow ribbons on their cars and calling for national unification in support of the US soldiers against Yemen, even if they don't like Trump (or his VP Cotton)
8)Israel invades Lebanon, immediately bombs every hospital.
9)Liberals support move to "eliminate Hezbollah and bring democracy to Lebanon"
10 Leaked sex tape of Milei with the 6th generation clone of his dog that talks to him. Media is impressed by the level of romance and passion.First half will be a good year of jrpgs and then a new surge of covid
everything's gonna be fine
Death to America
Israeli false flag against a US warship.
Turkey finally makes a move, butries the hatchet with Syria in solidarity with Palestine, exits NATO in plan to unite the Arab world and recreate the Ottoman Empire to contain Israel.
Sanctions of choice will drive costs up double digits.
Economic conditions continue to get drastically worse as technical hyperinflation hits western countries, but the leaders keep insisting everything is fine
Citi bank major scandal.
Eurovision interrupted by pro Palestinian activists - repeatedly.
begins banning opposition parties.
breaks on live tv in a way that is unsalvageable.
Assange is a free man.In tradition with the ongoing collapse of the UK, Richi Sunak gets booted.
Permanently Deleted
- Biden wins the electoral college while losing the popular vote. The media will call it a huge victory for democracy. Dems will be in the minority in both chambers
- Javier Meili admits to relationship with sister, gains popularity
- Liberal MSM outlets start acting like they never supported Ukraine in the first place
- Trump will pick an insanely stupid/ unelectable predecessor
Polish right wing starts to vocally call for 'stabilization interventions' in western Ukraine in thin pretext for a repeat of 1919-21, paramilitary factions like Lwów Battalion and Kresy Battalion begin to form
China acts as mediator for a ceasefire in Gaza, it looks to be successful until a USS Liberty-alike incident escalates the Hezbollah front
Trump has a major health scare but is miraculously fine within a month
Milei requests direct US military assistance against 'communist rebels' that don't exist
Trump confirms the existence of Israel's nukes by mocking their capability in his 'we have the best nukes' speech
Hillary divorces Bill over the Epstein revelations, and successfully primaries Biden before losing the federal election to Trump as the RODHAM/BLINKEN ticket because some of her faithless electors in states that Trump was barred from running in flip votes to him for the sake of the people's right to choose their fascist dictator
An F-35 experiences a mechanical failure and crashes over Yemen, US media goes crazy about the threat of China, Russian and Iran getting access to the wreckage
Lots of bad weather in general. Also solar flares and floods, how bad? Fuck if I know you asked for predictions. Meili's probably going to step back into a position in his own cabinet once he's felt someone dare insult him for being a murderer fuckup. US politics will be a trainwreck per usual, election bullshit won't stop even into next year again.
(Attempted) Chinese and/or Korean reunification: 7
Biden wins popular vote, loses electoral vote: 2
Liberals blame leftists for not voting hard enough: 1
Biden narrowly wins, little material difference from a Trump victory: 2
George Santos runs for office as a Democrat: 10
Human Pet Guy arrested for being a sex pest of some sort: 3
Red Scare Pod hosts become Posadists: 12
Colleges required to ban trans students from sports or lose federal funding under new supreme court title ix interpretation: 4
COVID surges in summer, pandemic will be ignored: 3
January 6 pt. II: 4
Biden attempts to talk to protesters and is shot: 20 Lauren Bobert joins mob, injured due to tazer misuse
Silksong doesn't come out: 1
Tom Scott ends hiatus after 3 months: 4
Natalie Wynn or Abigail Thorne get major role in Hollywod film: 5
Sam Altman forms tech-priests: 7
Elon Musk's daughter becomes a leftist podcast host: 8
Florida outlaws EVs (under 100,000): 6
USS Gerald R. Ford reruns to Israel, gets damaged due to technical error with Israeli artillery: 9
The situation in Palestine worsens as Israel takes more desperate measures to suppress decolonization, yet has marginal effect on militants: 1
ChatGPT gets progressively worse as model collapse kicks in: 3
Vegas Sphere gets hacked: 5
US Airlines grind to total halt due to bug, COBOL bergentruckung awakened from hibernation in New Jersey home: 2
I stop being paralyzed by anxiety and start transitioning: 1
Right wing government in portugal
I continue being a piece of garbage
US goes full on mask off, cast away what little trappings and illusions it had of its silly baby lib democracy pandering, and possibly seriously starts Balkanizing beyond that red-blue thing. Even the most ostrich head in sand former US-educated petite-bourgeois PMC historian would admit 'yep, 2024 is when it all went down for real'.
