Real talk

Real answer: these are actually real languages! They're just conlangs, or constructed languages, instead of natural languages. The major problem with conlangs generally ends up being the limited vocabulary, but the grammar foundations are usually solid.
I actually really like Klingon as a language because it was intentionally designed to be alien, and specifically to be very Klingon. Most languages are Subject-Verb-Object (like English and other Western languages) or Subject-Object-Verb (like Japanese or Hindi). Klingon, however, is Object-Verb-Subject - it's very direct with the emphasis placed on the target of the sentence, which makes sense with the Star Trek world and Klingon culture.
Fun fact, Klingon has at least one native speaker - some guy raised his daughter to speak Klingon as well as English. (I'm not a fan of this - on one hand, learning multiple languages from an early age is a huge leg up in being able to learn more languages in the future, but on the other hand Klingon is entirely useless as a primary language given its structure and the few other people who speak it.)
- Speers was also the only person who would speak Klingon to Alec and the boy never saw Star Trek during this experiment, so didn’t ever see anyone but his father speaking it. As everyone else spoke English, Speers stated when Alec was about three years old, “He stopped listening to me when I spoke in Klingon. It was clear that he didn’t enjoy it, and I didn’t want to make it into a problem, so I switched to English…”
  Today the teenage Alec no longer is fluent in Klingon and reportedly can’t even pick out the meaning of individual words of the language.
  Wow
- So klingons would like the song Hammer Smashed Face?
  
  Face, smashed by hammer.
  
  No, that’s still subject-verb-object or at least adjective clause-noun depending on how it’s read (it should have a hyphen in that case but stuff like that gets left out a lot)
  
  Man I bet Klingon death metal would be amazing
- Even cooler, in my opinion, are languages that are even further outside of common indo european language paradigms, such as Navajo which uses degrees of animacy instead of grammatical gender and Basque which uses ‘focus’ and ‘topic’ to determine word order rather than subjects and objects.
  
  such as Navajo which uses degrees of animacy instead of grammatical gender
  What makes their use of degrees of animacy not a use of grammatical gender? Keep in mind that even though it's called "gender" because in European languages it usually maps in some way onto human sexual identity, linguistically speaking grammatical gender has nothing to do with human gender identity.
- That can't be right. I've never heard of a language called Dutch. That's just something they print on some food labels to make them seem better.
  /s for the dense.
- I might be wrong, but isn't German Subject-Verb-Object-Verb?
  
  The main verb is most often in the second position, the second verb you are referring to is a placeholder for an auxiliary verb that usually is a different form of a previously main verb
- Some of my earliest memories are watching The Next Generation with my parents. I never stood a chance! I was always destined to be 🤓
  
  Being knowledgeable is something worth mocking
  Caveman moment

- Smoke and a pancake?
  
  Cigar and a waffle?
  
  Don't mind if I do, thanks

It's funnier with French because no one hates the Dutch language more than the Dutch, but France thinks everything it does is the best.
- I'm Dutch and I approve this message.
  
  Why do the Dutch hate the language?
  
  Een probleem?!
- French people are busy hating on themselves. I've heard about French people hating on people from Paris so since Ive ment French people during my exchange/foreign semester I tried asking them if they really hate people from Paris and they confirmed it for me. All non Paris French people hate on Paris French people lol
  
  This sounds similar to most dutch people silently hating people from Amsterdam.
  
  I bet the politicians are thankful for a successful class stratification system
  
  I liken this to people's irritation with NYC-philes - the ones who think the universe revolves around NYC, to the point when even on the west coast, they refer to it as 'The City'. And so much of Paris is radically more inwardly-celebrating-cosmopolitan, diverse yet oddly ~~intolerant~~ uptight? - than the smaller cities much less the countryside, I think I can grok their irritation.
  Having only visited twice in my youth, certainly no expert.
  
  Paris and the rest of France are two different countries that are racist towards the other.
- I wouldn't say french is the best language by any means. I think that while it has a pretty extensive vocabulary it is quite inefficient and conservative by nature
  
  The reason it has an extensive vocab is because the french are purists who need to invent their own version of every new word in existence, instead of just loaning words from other languages like every other language does.
  An example of this is "computer". Every other language uses that term, except for fucking french who call it an "ordinateur"
- Not any more than other Europeans I fear.
  Wait hold on. We're just the best at being pricks! 💪

Right, what’s ‘Dutch’?
- Deutsch is the German word for German. I think they just made a typo and put the wrong flag or smth.
  
  Ich bin ein Germaner
  
  I mean only in English is the term Dutch used for the Netherlands. It's a really old thing from around the 1500's that stuck around.
  Also that's the flag of Luxembourg.
  
  You're playing a dangerous game with those kind of words makker
- A kind of oven, I think.
- It's when everyone pays their own bill at the restaurant.
- A kind of rudder iirc
- Swampgerman.
- Congratulations on understanding the joke!
- I don't watch the franchise either way

Houd je smoel anders zet ik je je kop tussen twee oren
- In case anyone else is curious what that says, it's:
  'ach ghu' DaSovchu'be' je
- Q'PLA!
  
  YOU N'WAH!

we got high valyrian before Persian or Tagalog
- The Tagalog speakers I knew sprinkled in enough English that I could usually glean what they were talking about anyway.

I think it's properly called Hollandaise.
- I don’t believe you. Sauce?
- That's a sauce
  
  Yes, Mario. That is sauce.

All languages are fake...
- *made up

wait till this guy finds out people still learn Latin
- And promptly forget it the day after they no longer need to know it.........
  
  Et tu Brute?
  
  Globally popular languages are so full of Latin that it's just about impossible to completely forget any of it.

nIDwI' leghmajvaD ngoQ'e' nIDwI'! (This aggression will not stand!)

Nou mag je eens heel goed luisteren, jij hondelul.
- Go wizard somewhere else, Gandalf.
  And take your clogs with you.

Spreek NEDERLANDS met me!
- SPRICH DEUTSCH DU HURENSOHN
  
  red deitsch oida
- Nein.
  
  Diets
- Het is niet mogelijk.
- Preik Nederlandsk med meg!
  It's funny the first time I went to Amsterdam, the first thing I noticed was that I could read half of every sign. This is after listening to Dutch language several times and thinking it sounded more klingon than germanic

Holländisch ist nur Deutsch wenn man Halsschmerzen hat.
- More like rapidly flipping german, french, english, swedish and danish channels on a TV

Zeg klootviool

Geef me een klapp papa
- No double consonants at the end of Dutch words except for loanwords. Now you'll remember this instead of something you'll find useful. Enjoy!
- klap*
  
  Qapla'

I'm in the process of learning German so my mental shorthand way of thinking about Dutch is that it's basically German with extra As and Os.
- Dutch is like a German describing to Englishman that he just took a bite of a very hot potato
  
  Dutch is like if german and english had a baby together but when it was 10 english cheated with french and ran off
- It's just Swamp German
- It's really a mix of German and English words with some shifting in pronunciation. Once you know both languages, learning Dutch is quite easy. You will make out a lot of words pretty quickly.

That is not a Dutch flag, that is the flag of Luxembourg...
- Yeah, wrong shade of blue 😅
  But you see, if they actually did it the proper blue it would have been too dark for the minimal friendly design!
- And Luxemburgish seriously isn't real.

Zeg makker …

Hmm... for once I thought I was learning Luxembourgish, but I accidentally learned Dutch instead.
Nah jk. I still don't know that much Dutch yet.

Oh shit... Can I learn Tolkien's elvish on DuoLingo? :O
- Unfortunately not. Tolkien was more interested in developing the history and evolution of his languages then developing the languages themselves. Sindarin and Quenya are the two most-developed of Tolkien's languages, but there is not nearly enough vocabulary to be usable as a language.
  And unlike some other conlangs, there's a strong hesitancy to embracing fan-made extensions on the works of Tolkien.
- Last time I checked, sadly no. It's only these fake languages.
  
  sigh
  Guess I'll learn Dutch then... 😮‍💨
- If anyone is interested, pons has an online Deutsch-Elbish dictionary.

I thought they got rid of Klingon? I was excited to try it out but it was gone :-(
- It's the cloaking.

Voel me een beetje beledigd maar eigenlijk ook niet
- Blijft gewoon aandacht hè? Voelt toch goed, ondanks dat ze ons uitlachen.

Ĉi tiuj ĉiuj estas veraj lingvoj krom la nederlanda. Kio estas la nederlanda?
- Eble veraj lingvoj ne eksistas.
  
  Mi ne scias, sed vi eble pravas
- Romanian?
  
  Nah, esperanto
- Mi learnis ioma da Esperanto antaŭ mi movis al Nederlando. Nun ĉiam ik elektas la aliajn vortojn kaj mi estas malbona met Nederlands en Esperanto.
  Edit: Mi volas lerni la du, sed, mi pensas ke, me povas lerni nenion.

Ayy take that back, high valyrian ain't a fake language

Hey Dutch is the only fake one in that list
- Wat de fak zei je fokking over mij, jij kleine trut? Weet je dat ik als beste in mij klas ben geslaagd bij de Koninklijke Mariniers and ik ben betrokken geweest bij meerdere geheime invallen tegen Al Kaida en ik heb meer dan 300 bevestigde doden. Ik ben getraind in gorilla oorlogsvoering en ik ben de beste sluipschutter van de gehele Koninklijke Nederlandse krijgsmacht. Jij bent niets meer voor me dan een doelwit. Ik zal je fokking wegvagen met een precisie zoals nog nooit eerder op deze aarde is gezien, let op mijn verdomde woorden. Denk je nou echt dat je weg kan komen met zulke shit over mij op het internet te zeggen? Denk nog eens na, klootzak. As we speak ben ik mijn geheimen spionnen netwerk over de de hele VS aan het contacteren en je IP word nu getraceerd dus je kan je maar beter voorbereiden voor de storm die komt, kakkerlak. De storm zal je trieste kleine ding die je jij je leven noemt wegvagen. Jij bent fokking dood, jonge. Ik kan overal zijn, op elk moment, en ik zal je in zeven honderd manieren doden, en dat is dan alleen met mijn blote handen. Ik ben niet alleen extensief getraind in het onbewapend vechten maar ik heb toegang tot het gehele arsenaal van de Koninklijke Mariniers en ik zal daar volledige gebruik van maken om je trieste reet van het continent weg te vagen. Jij kleine kut. Had je maar kunnen weten welke onheilige vergelding jouw kleine ‘slimme’ opmerking over jou heen bracht. Misschien hield je dan je kut bek. Maar dat had je niet kunnen weten en nu betaal je daarvoor de prijs. Jij godverdomme idioot. Ik zal woede over je heen schijten en je zal er in verdrinken. Jij bent dood jonge.
  
  I didn't know I'd be seeing a new Navy Seal copypasta variant today but here we are
  
  What's terrible is I don't speak Dutch and instantly knew what this was.
  
  Korps Mariniers, niet Koninklijke Mariniers. Verder goud, 100 punten, niks mis mee 👌
- Listen here, you little shit!
  Swamp German is best German.
- GTA V: "fuck the dutch!"