Looking for signs and not seeing them and then being told we missed signs that were indistinguishable from being polite is just part of being a man. So is being told off because you read signs that previous women said were their signs, but weren't for someone else.
The best skill a man can have is being able to ask if there is a slight chance while being ready to casually accept rejection, because hints are so inconsistent from person to person and men are expected to initiate.
Looking for signs and not seeing them and then being told we missed signs that were indistinguishable from being polite is just part of being a man. dating women.
Wow, so there are more women than just me on lemmy.
I have nothing to add to this post but I saw this thread was mostly full of men, and… idk I wanted to fix the gender imbalance? I mean, lemmy is cool but these comments are so on-brand lmao.
The comments I'm referring to are all still here. I think you're just lacking context:
My comment comes from a place of snark, not offense, like the other commenters.
This subcommunity is TwoXChromosomes, a subcommunity for women's perspectives
The OP post is a vent post, venting about how male perspectives are just like... everywhere on lemmy, to the point is is not just the default, but even things about women's perspectives are bogged down by "but what about MY perspective", from men.
You can see this all play out in the comment chain started by snooggums
If this still doesn't make sense after reading all this... hey this is unrelated, do you identify as male?
Bonus feature: the screenshot in the OP's post uses the word "tsunedere" unironically to describe IRL interactions. We have all met this person online... some of them are probably in the comments of this post. I'm not making a moral judgement about people like this. Nerds are my people. I'm just going to point out that they probably have a lot of interpersonal struggles, and seeking romantic relationships are just one facet of that. I'm also wondering if the person in OP's screenshot, if he were to think a little harder, if he really thinks using anime stereotypes to describe IRL women is uh.... you know, a good thing to do?
I've met men like that: they know two groups of people, Ordinary People and women.
Anyway, I wrote more than I meant to. Hope this gives a little insight about why people are replying this way.
There's tons of women on Lemmy, but a lot of them aren't on this community because they only have one X chromosome. They're hanging out in the nicer places
Is that something others brought up somewhere else? I am asking because this is a continuous topic since the sub was created, but to my knowledge only in discussions on slrpnk.net
The fear of "ew no" is real, but also not nearly as big a deal as you might think.
"Ew no" is at its most powerful in small, isolated communities, where a single "ew no" from the wrong person can have outsized reputational damage. Think high schools, small towns, etc.
As you get older though, you have a lot more opportunities to meet more people who have zero relation to anyone who might've said "ew no". Pretty great that way.
But there's also the more intimate damage of "ew no", just that it hurts to be rejected or thought of that way. The good news is that anyone who would say "ew no" is legitimately not anyone you want a relationship with in the first place. Neither of you would be happy together, so their rudeness aside, they're doing you a favor of not wasting your time with an unhappy relationship. Seeing the bigger picture there really can help with the ego damage from "ew no". Their reaction is more a reflection of them than it is of you, and recognizing that really helps with confidence building, too.
Sorry for the ramble. I was a nerd in school back when that wasn't cool. But I've been happily married for a while now, and it would've never happened had I not been willing to risk an "ew no" from time to time.
I was also a nerd in school. I still am, but I was one then too. The "ew no" was a big thing for me to get over, but that is the biggest fear most guys have with putting themselves out there.
I also try to remember that a woman's biggest fear is being raped and/or murdered. If I keep that in mind it is easier for me to give them easier outs when I asked them out. I'm married now, so I don't know about current dating trends. I think a little empathy could go a long way though.
it's not that weird from my perspective. the post was kinda a rant so it baited people that are not really ready to discuss but just felt like having to point out their perspective in a defensive way
In keeping with the spirit of 2x I'm not here to spout my opinion into this community meant for those of female gender. I'll put forward some information that may help alleviate your confusion and bring context as to why you're receiving the responses and opinions you are:
A Lemmy.ca survey was conducted at the end of last year, and resulted in 87% reporting as male gender, 7% as female and 6% combined as non-binary, genderfluid, other, of the users who opted to answer the question.
Other servers probably have a similar distribution but some may be more skewed to some demographic such as lemmy.blahaj.zone.
I'll be honest, I only ask out girls I catch glancing at me at least 3 times in a row. I've a fear that I may be triggering prey response in some of these but I've yet to have a bad interaction with any woman I've asked out after confirming this.
As a Lemmy lady, may I please be honest and lay bare my true feelings? Life is way too short to play coy. You snooze, you lose - right?
Quite a few times where I've been read wrong for just trying to be a human being or just for talking about the fucking weather.
If I wanted your cock, I swear to all the gods before you, I will be the first to let you know.
If you've not heard back from me then there's your answer.
I love this community and love you all. Stay safe out there.
OP gets btfo on Reddit, and the turns to Lemmy seeking updoots to salvage their ego. More news at 11.
Who cares what redditors think about your post, y'all need to quit reposting this crap to Lemmy for clout. Make some original content. If you wanna talk Reddit, stay on Reddit. We all know it sucks, that's why we're here and not there.