It's official: yet another date ruined because I said I wanted to watch the Shrek trilogy but then insisted on watching Shrek 2 three times in a row because it's the only Prestige Shrek.
That's clearly what I mean unless you want to waste four hours on sub-par Shrek. You know the main canon and there's no reason to revisit it for fucking exposition.
the only way to watch shrek is to start with shrek the third until exactly the moment at which fiona reveals she's pregnant, at which point you flashback to shrek 1 and watch it all the way through TWICE before returning to finish shrek 3. then you watch shrek 2, take a quick puss break (both movies) then move on to shrek forever after
That's a very postmodern viewing of Shrek. I prefer to watch Shrek 2 and imagine where the characters came from and where they're going. There is a direct, lived connection to history. Fiona doesn't just fall out of a coconut tree and reveal she's pregnant.