I've (M) had 2 close (F) friends since almost 10 years ago, and now suddenly they say they don't want to be friends with me anymore.
I've (M) had 2 close (F) friends since almost 10 years ago, and now suddenly they say they don't want to be friends with me anymore.
Title says it, apparently i've been "too much" for them to handle (and i recognize i was quite the bag of rocks in 2021).
But these last two years everything had been just fine (i apologized for my misbehavior, i finally got a job), everything was going great.
But now they suddenly felt they've "changed and matured" (their words, not mine) and that somehow does not allow us to be friends any longer.
Any advice?
I feel i'm losing my head over this.
That sucks, bud. Unfortunately literally the only thing to do is let it alone and move on with your life. If they get back in touch later, great, but otherwise they're now just some people you used to know.
People are people, meaning everybody has their own thoughts and feelings. If you love them you'll respect them and give them space. You don't have to understand, you don't have to like it, and you can even be frustrated or angry. You can also continue to love them and miss what you had, and you can even reach out to them periodically and gently probe to see if they are ready to talk more about your differences and if they are open to mending the rift. But for now, give them space. Think of it like a trip where you are far apart and can't see each other and you are living your life as best you can. Think about yourself and the people who are willing to stand by you and enjoy who you are now. Be open to new friendships and new experiences, and look ahead.
There's not much you can do to change the decisions they've made, but you can reflect on your decisions and see if you want to try to change anything about yourself.
I don't know what exactly you're referring to when you say "misbehavior," but sometimes the stank will never come off a relationship after that. Also, people grow and over time may naturally drift together or apart. Could be you're still "misbehaving" but aren't aware of it.
Realistically SOL, move on. You can ask what you're doing that's objectionable but you need to be ready to hear it calmly and not try to fight/argue your case and that's hard to impossible for many. For that same reason it's a real crap shoot that they'll be willing to tell you. They don't want to get yelled at. IF they tell you, and IF you keep cool, then you decide if you want to change. It needs to be because you see value in it beyond the friends though because if you do, then try, but you still need to respect your friends and disengage. Just hope that they see the changes from afar and reach out. They may not. If you don't see intrinsic value/don't want to change, cool, move on.
Thanks to all for your replies, seriously <3
I'll try my best to face forward and improve upon myself :)
I think it says a lot more about them than it does about you. I've had people who I thought were close friends turn out to be fake. It messes with your head and hurts like crazy, but you have to realize that it's about them and not you.
you can't force friendship. for whatever reason things changed, that's a fact now, and no reasoning or anguish will make them decide to reverse their course. replace them with better friends. easier said than done, but letting this eat your brain isn't a valid solution. moving on, is.
Find like 2 new hobbies, preferably either a hobby done in groups / causes social interactions, make new friends!
Itll be okay fam. 😁