Why Can’t Our Friendship Survive Your Baby?
Why Can’t Our Friendship Survive Your Baby?
Nothing threatens adult relationships like when some friends have kids and others don’t.
I think when you're used to clubbing or hanging out in bars it's probably hard. By the time my friends had kids (I was the last one in our group) we had long graduated to home visits and playing boardgames (i.e. gotten old) with little or no drinking involved. Certainly it reduced the number of times we saw each other, but overall the relationship didn't feel changed.
For my friends and I (not bar people), hangouts still changed when they had kids because now the choice is hang out at my place or hang out at theirs....with the kids. I have to "compete" for my friends' attention until the youngins go to bed and then we have to be quieter as to not wake them up.
It's fine, but it's an undeniable downgrade.
I feel that, I don't have kids and I'm not planning on ever having them. And most of my friends did. The dynamic obviously changed overnight and reaching out to them feels very one sided at the moment. I understand obviously, but it's never gonna be the same. The idea of having the parents get a sitter for an evening is nice, I should try it someday.