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First-time home buyers: how did you feel about getting a mortgage?

An option for me to buy a house has come up very suddenly and it seemed like a good idea at first - but I look at a mortgage and think "that's 15 years I'll spend paying back, at absolute minimum. Probably more like 25 years" - how can I possibly plan that far in advance?

So, how did you feel about getting a mortgage and seeing such a serious commitment stretch so far into the future? I'm mainly talking about the emotional side of things rather than financial

52 comments
  • you don't have to keep the house - in 5 years you can sell it again. as long as the house hasn't lost value, you will be about even.

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  • It’s hard when you’re starting out, but think about it this way:

    1. you have to live somewhere-that means rent or a mortgage.
    2. rent goes to “the man”. So does most of your mortgage payment but you DO pay some of that to yourself. So when comparing the two you have to subtract that out.
    3. you get a tax break on mortgage interest - so you have to take that out
    4. the house is likely to appreciate in value - so any equity you build has to be taken out
    5. this means that a substantially larger monthly mortgage payment might actually be equal to or even less than paying monthly rent.
    6. rent goes up, nobody talks about this. Mortgages are fixed.
    7. renting is forever. Eventually (if you’re not stupid with refinances) you’ll own your home and have zero payments.
    8. in favor of renting - if something breaks in a house, you have to fix it. Renters just yell at their landlord.
    9. even if you have a crappy interest rate now, you can always refinance in the future if and when rates come down.

    Paying for your first mortgage can be daunting when just starting out, but it’s often cheaper than renting when considering the above points, the one exception being how much money you sink into repairs. (Don’t buy a money trap of a house, stay away from major fixer uppers). Eventually your salary will go up and your mortgage payment will be less and less of a burden.

    Being in debt sucks, but I’ve felt paying rent sucks even more. So a mortgage ain’t so bad. That’s the way I see things - ymmv

  • It’s weird. The numbers are so big and the dates are so far out there that none of it feels real. The fact that (assuming you fit their magic profile) some bank will accept your signature in return for hundreds of thousands of dollars is stranger still. I honestly wish we lived in a society where this sort of thing was NOT the norm. But if you live in the US, home ownership is one of the few mechanisms in place for us commoners to generate and/or pass on generational wealth (assuming that the whole system doesn’t collapse like the house of cards it probably is while you own the house).

  • I was a bit nervous at the time but looking back it was absolutely the right decision. If you’ve always been a renter, you can’t know the sense of peace that comes with knowing your home belongs to you and you can’t be evicted by someone else’s whim. I wasn’t aware of how it was weighing on me until I was free of it. Yes, I have to pay a mortgage but only a few years later it is much cheaper than local rents that I’d otherwise be paying. Overall it’s a much better way to live as long as it lines up financially for you.

  • If your mortgage is less than your rent, do it.

    • Even if it's more than your rent RIGHT NOW, do it.

      Your mortgage will stay the same. The rent just goes up.

      • Well… mostly true. My mortgage has gone up because insurance costs are out of control and the incompetent party running the state refuses to do anything.

  • Its generally a good move but people can oversell it. Taxes will go up even if the mortgage is fixed. You can't move easily if you need to go work someplace else or such. Upkeep is a thing and will cost. You can't easily drop your monthly nut if you lose your job or such. That being said my general rule of thumb is if you can afford a 20% down payment and 15 year fixed and its somewhere you would like to live you should do it. Get a 30 year but make payments like its a 15 year and if you get into a crunch make the normal payment. If all goes well you will be in good stead and if you have to sell you should come out ahead. If you can't do that much of a down payment then definitely think about it hard and I personally think if your doing a balloon or variable rate your asking for trouble.

  • Terrifying. I did mine nearly 30 years ago with nothing more than a couple of years of decent salary and the belief I'd be able to get a similar salary elsewhere if needed.

    It worked out in the end. I'm in IT, and ended up working for a startup that floated and the monopoly moneyoptions became actual money, so was able to pay off my mortgage the year before COVID hit. It's made things immeasurably easier.

    Not sure how things would be in the current situation of gigs, near-zero job security, etc. Really feel for those of you in that boat. It suuucks.

    But life goes on. Roll the dice and trust that you can make the best of it, I think?

    Edit: Ask yourself if you want to keep paying off someone else's mortgage and own nothing, or pay off your own.

  • I will say I don't really know about the emotional part so I will go into the financial and say that your country's currency will depreciate as time moves on. Therefore, you can either get a fixed rate mortgage now and convert it to a lower fixed rate mortgage later or get a variable rate mortgage now and convert it to a fixed rate later when rates decrease again. By doing this you lock in your price and the only thing that will change it is either in increase in taxes or insurance and even that won't increase it that much. So you have a very good idea of what your bill will be and you are shorting your country's fiat currency by buying something of value now and paying for it with depreciating currency over time.

    Edit: As one buyer to another, I will say, watch out for electricity prices, though, because environmentally changing a 900-square-foot apartment or a 900-square-foot house are two totally different animals. I am not sure whether it's because all the other units in the building are doing roughly the same thing so the temperature change you have to make is less or if my landlords were subsidizing electricity but it was way cheaper to run electricity in an apartment than in a house. Like my electricity went up from an average of $30 at my apartments to an average of $120 at my house. As I said, my guess is that since everybody else in your building of apartments is wanting to keep their apartments cool or warm as well, this changes how much you personally spend to warm or cool your part of the building.

    Edit 2: Another thought is that perhaps it's the attic in my house that caused a lot of that increase because yes my house is technically like a thousand square feet but that is the floor that you can live on not including the attic which would add more to that total if it were included

52 comments