The amazingly useful role of Why in self healing.
The amazingly useful role of Why in self healing.
This information is purposefully condensed. It's my goal to get my ideas out in the most clear, concise way possible.
...I'm still working on it, lol. Think of it as a list of "Bullet Paragraphs."
That being said; Please try to take it at face value and let me know if it resonates with you.
Would love to hear from anyone who disagrees, too!
tl;dr
Ask Why. Often. If you need to, start with answers you know. Be willing to admit when you get it wrong, Be willing to learn from it. Work on staying rational when emotions rise, While also giving them the space they deserve.
Why is very helpful in relationships, too, Just be mindful of boundaries.
Why isn't a question, it's a path. It can be overgrown and hard to see sometimes, but as long as you remember to come back and check now and then, you'll always find it again. And whenever it feels like you've reached the end, there's probably a little more still ahead.
Sometimes, you'll come to an answer that feels right, and later find out you're wrong. If you're able to admit it, you'll still learn from it. Be willing to update your worldview, or maybe just your place in it.
If you don't know where where to start or what to ask, just start with going through the Why that you already know. Journaling is a huge help with this part, but just mentally working through it is great, too.
You might ask something like "Why do I get sad so quickly?" or "Why do I feel lonely?" Keep going until it feels like time to stop, or when you get stuck. Set it down for now, so you can come back later.
If you are able to rationalize and accept why things happened while accepting and feeling the emotional pain when it rises, you can work to heal wounds while staying more emotionally regulated.
The trick here is learning to give the pain the space it deserves, while leaving your rational mind in control to "sort the baggage." It may be difficult at first, but it comes with practice.
Why is amazing when aimed inward, but it can be just as helpful aimed outward: When those close to you are struggling, trying to really understand Why can be a great help to them and may strengthen the relationship as long as boundaries are respected.
This can be applied to many other mental health related situations, too, not just trauma.