Skip Navigation

Where do I look when seated at a restaurant to seem normal?

(when seated in a group with others, i should clarify. if i'm by myself i'm absolutely happy to be on my phone or book)

i genuinely have an issue. it's like....there's people on all sides. i need to rest my eyes somewhere, esp in a social setting which is already inherently a bit wearing

  • if you look down at your food, you look sad or disinterested or whatever
  • if you look at the ceiling that's insane, isn't it?

so that's down and up out. let's look at:

  • the sides, which have people there or nearly there, or obscuring the view of a nice window or painting, and you can't stare at people.

fuck fuck fuck. what about:

  • the center. oh no. this is the nightmare zone. let's break it down into 3 sections: the top contains their face, that's quite insane to look at. downwards, the table across from you with their food, that could seem like you're looking at their body very intently, can't do that. the middle? if it's a woman, then that's very much bad form. but if you're a guy generally attracted to women, part of your brain wants to look no matter what, at least a little. and since when you're sitting, forward is the most natural direction to look (you can't really turn around or move, particularly), so you keep coming back to it and AHH FUCK

fucking nightmare.

57

You're viewing a single thread.

57 comments
  • If someone enters your personal one meter radius, immediately maintain direct eye contact with them to assert control over your domain. Stare them down. Do not blink. Blinking is a sign of weakness. You must assert dominance over your territory or else (by law) the restaurant will kick you out to make way for its stronger patrons.

You've viewed 57 comments.